Proving - continued

Last night Rick and I continued the discussion about proving stuff. We try and prove things at different times and for different reasons, just like everyone else. We don't claim to have a corner on having this figured out, but it is a good exercise and an interesting discussion. We thought it was a good idea to say occasionally to ourselves:
1. What am I trying to prove?
2. To whom?
3. Why?

The motives for proving things seems to be the sticking point and we wondered if there are "pure" motives and "not pure motives."
For example - Am I trying to prove something to be better than someone else or an I trying to prove something to just say "hey, I exist, please notice me" or am I simply sharing information and others perceive it as trying to prove something?

Annie brought up a good example to illustrate this point - Christmas rants/letters. Her perception is that people are trying to prove they or their children are accomplished because of their successes and she isn't comfortable with that approach, which is totally fine. But what is the motive of the sender? There is probably no way to really know. Is it to prove they are better than others, or is it to just say, "this is what we do" or to share family information that happens to involve mentioning some accomplishments during the course of the year? Some people dislike these types of Christmas letters and some people (like me) enjoy them. I guess the receiver can always just throw them away without even reading them if they don't like them.

But don't we do the same thing in family histories, blogs, letters, emails and such? We tell about our lives, what we enjoy doing, what our interests are, who we are and don't we want to prove to everyone else that we are valuable, interesting people? Isn't this a predominant theme in blogging - hey look at me, I've good a great job, a great life, a great sense of humor, a keen intellect, a great family, darling children, great interests, great ideas - or is it just sharing information? And isn't that OK to do? I enjoy having a glimpse into the life of a family member or friend. As Annie mentioned, the conveyance of information through just talking is past. The art of conversation, discussion and just talking is practically a lost art. Now, we publish/write/text/email/talk on the cell phone and tell what we do and who we are because we often don't take the opportunity to talk face to face and share. This is the age we live in and if you want to participate in the discussion, you have to use the means to convey messages like everyone else uses.

Soooooo, do we sometimes perceive that others are trying to prove something, when really - that isn't their intent? There is really no way to know, but we usually don't give people the benefit of the doubt. Does it come across as BIG ME little you? We may feel like they are bragging or showing off when really, they are just sharing a success or an interest. Maybe this isn't allowed. I was with a friend yesterday who couldn't wait to tell me the latest accomplishment of her missionary son. Was she trying to prove something, or was she just sharing information?
I believe a major part of any discussion or sharing of information, either in person, by email in a blog or otherwise, it to allow other people to have a turn and to tell/show/prove that they have equally valuable interests and accomplishments. Their interests, traditions and accomplishments may be different, but they are just as valuable, cool and interesting and the conversation should allow for a give and take. This is a pet peeve of my mother. She can't stand conversations where one person does all the talking/bragging/telling and never lets the other person have an opportunity to speak. I agree that it's very hard to maintain a close friendship with this type of personality.

Also, is it OK to talk about physical fitness accomplishments, musical accomplishments and not spiritual, social or intellectual accomplishments? We gather around and cheer the physical accomplishments, we sometimes give standing ovations to musical accomplishments, but how do we recognize spiritual, social and intellectual accomplishments? Are any references to being smart or accomplished in the work world considered bragging, but the athletic and artistic accomplishments are considered worthy of praise? Is a spiritually accomplished person considered to be self righteous if they share any of their successes? What is acceptable to share concerning our own accomplishments and creations and the accomplishments of our children, and what is not? Do we sometimes knowingly withhold praise because we are jealous of the accomplishments of someone else, but we crave recognition and praise for our own interests and successes? Can't we join in the celebration of the accomplishments of someone else (or their children) even when they are not the same as our own? An example - I'll cheer/praise your straight A student child who was a science fair winner and you can cheer/encourage my volleyball team winner child (even though you don't have the slightest interest in volleyball - but do have an interest in me and my child.) Isn't give and take part of the equation in supporting and sincerely caring about each other?

These questions could go on and go. Sorry, I've probably gone on too long as it is. I believe that at the base of it all is a question of pride. Is our pride involved in trying to prove ourselves? Are we trying to climb the ladder by stepping on other people to make progress? Do we want recognition for ourselves and our families, but we aren't willing to give it to others?
I remember the talk President Ezra Taft Benson gave almost 20 years ago entitled "Beware of Pride." I recently re-read it. It is a masterpiece and worthy of review. Here are some excerpts:

"Most of us think of pride as self-centeredness, conceit, boastfulness, arrogance, or haughtiness. All of these are elements of the sin, but the heart, or core, is still missing.
The central feature of pride is enmity—enmity toward God and enmity toward our fellowmen. Enmity means “hatred toward, hostility to, or a state of opposition.” It is the power by which Satan wishes to reign over us. Pride is essentially competitive in nature. We pit our will against God’s. When we direct our pride toward God, it is in the spirit of “my will and not thine be done.” Our will in competition to God’s will allows desires, appetites, and passions to go unbridled.
Pride is a sin that can readily be seen in others but is rarely admitted in ourselves. Most of us consider pride to be a sin of those on the top, such as the rich and the learned, looking down at the rest of us. (See 2 Ne. 9:42.) There is, however, a far more common ailment among us—and that is pride from the bottom looking up. It is manifest in so many ways, such as faultfinding, gossiping, backbiting, murmuring, living beyond our means, envying, coveting, withholding gratitude and praise that might lift another, and being unforgiving and jealous."