Reading - Part I

When you get homesick for Rupert, check out this slideshow under "Rupert slide show" and be sure to stop at the DeMary library web site located here.

Also check out this link for city data about Rupert. Fascinating!

I wanted to find a picture of the public library in Rupert. I didn't ever find a picture, but I did find those fascinating websites instead. I love Google and I love the Internet!

Anyway, I wanted to give a shout out to the DeMary library in Rupert, Idaho. Did you know this interesting fact?

The library just celebrated it's 50th anniversary. One of Mr. A.C. DeMary's goals for Rupert was to have a building just for the library. He made this goal a reality in 1958 by building and presenting this library to the city. This was done shortly before his death. Photos of this ceremony are available to view at the library.

Thank YOU Mr. A.C. DeMary! This is the place where I gained a love for reading. This tiny, little library was magic to me back in the day. On Wednesdays, we attended Primary (which was an after-school activity and lesson group meeting for LDS children.) We walked from Lincoln elementary school the three blocks to the church where we had primary from 3:30-5:00 pm. Most weeks my friend Carla M. and I walked over to the DeMary library and picked up some books on our way to Primary, smartly outfitted in our cotton dresses, bobby socks and oxford shoes. If I were extra lucky, I would stop by Nelson's grocery store and buy a big, red, juicy apple for 25 cents. We had our very own library cards and we enjoyed reading many of the same books. I still remember some of the titles and series I loved: All the Little House on the Prairie books (I'll still watch the TV show if I come across it while channel hopping), Nancy Drew girl detective series, Heidi, Where the Red Fern Grows (cried my little eyes out over that one), along with Old Yeller and the magical A Wrinkle in Time - which was my first exposure to Science Fiction. There were other classics like A Witch of Blackbird Pond and the Bronze Bow.
My friend's mother was the librarian at the elementary school in Heyburn and she always gave Carla good suggestions on books to read which she passed on to me. I loved to read those child adventure books and I became hooked on the notion that a book had the power to transport me out of Rupert, Idaho to some far-flung place. I loved to let my imagination wander and I generally became engrossed in the story to the point where I couldn't put the book down until I had finished reading it.
I loved receiving books as gifts and I wish I would have kept more of my childhood books. I learned at an early age that reading was powerful stuff.

Good children's literature appeals not only to the child in the adult, but to the adult in the child. ~ Anonymous ~

A library is a hospital for the mind. ~ Anonymous ~

People die, but books never die. ~ Anonymous ~

If you can read this, thank a teacher. ~ Anonymous Teacher ~

An epiphany

Dave recently asked me what elective classes I took in high school. As I told him about the classes I took, I came to an amazing realization! I realized that the classes I took at that tender age of 14-18 had a huge impact on my life. Just like everyone else, I was taking classes that I was interested in - experimentation classes to explore my interests and abilities. I'm just realizing all these years later, that an amazing thing happened during that process and it is this - I'm still using and pursuing many of those very same interests. I believe that part of who I am today is in large measure because of the classes I took that exposed me to some very interesting ways of thinking, and also exposed me to some skills and knowledge that kind of set the course for my life. Let me illustrate:
~I took an entire year of Shakespeare, for which I still have a passion and from which I can still explore the timeless themes that the plays address
~I took an additional year of grammar as an elective. (This was in the days before Title IX so there weren't any fun PE classes for girls to take!) One of the counselors said it would be a good class for college preparation. I diagrammed more sentences than I care to remember and consequently, my highest score on the ACT test was in English. It gave me a leg up in writing and understanding the mechanics of sentence structure.
~Four years of clothing construction and food preparation - good ole Home Economics which I addressed earlier. I still have a passion for home making and consider it an essential art.
~Two years of speech. I learned how to prepare and present talks and speeches for different occasions and I learned how to speak in front of people. I love to give talks now and we get that opportunity in our church assignment. I remember watching and listening closely when my Dad spoke. I tried to follow his pattern and use some of his techniques because I considered him to be a very good speaker. My mother was very good at giving readings and poems and I have learned from her example as well. I have given many, many talks through my life and I think this training early on helped me know how to do it and to have the confidence to speak. I even competed in speech contests in HS and got some recognition for extemporaneous speaking.
~Two years of debate. I'm just realizing that these classes may have had the biggest impact on me out of all the classes I took. I learned how to reason. I learned how to prepare an "argument" and present it in a clear and concise way. I learned how to back up my arguments with facts. I learned how to draw logical conclusions and present those facts. I learned how to research and think through a problem and look for ways to solve that problem. And I learned that there is always a PRO and a CON opinion and that each side always gets their chance to present.
Most High School debates share some general features. Specifically, any debate will have two sides: a proposition side, and an opposition side. The job of the proposition side is to advocate the adoption of the resolution, while the job of the opposition side is to refute the resolution.
The resolution can take many forms, depending on the format. But in most cases, the resolution is simply a statement of policy or a statement of value. In many debate formats, there is a requirement that a policy resolution (a resolution regarding the policies followed by some organization or government) represent a change from current policy, so that the opposition team will be defending the status quo. Usually, there is also a judge present in the debate whose job is to decide the winner.
I think I was probably kind of hard wired for this way of thinking already (given my personality color), but I believe that by taking these classes and actually participating in debates, that it set the stage for all future "arguments" what would come my way in the future. My husband has said many times that I would have made a great prosecutor and that I should have gone to law school. That may be true, but we'll never know.
Anyway, the epiphany is this - I can make a solid, logical argument and I know how to present the facts on many topics. If I don't know the facts, I'm willing to do the research to find them. But I also recognize that there are at least two sides to everything (as stated earlier in the pancake object lesson) and that the other side should always get their chance to present.
I wonder if sometimes people are so overwhelmed by the latent debater in me and with the presentation of my argument, that they come to the conclusion that I think I'm right and that I think I have all the answers. In reality, I've just presented my side of the argument and I'm perfectly willing to hear their side of it too. Sometimes they just give up because they don't have solid facts to support their views or they don't know how to do it. I also realize that some differences of opinion don't always deal in "facts" and that they are more subtle and nuanced. And in the end, there needn't be a winner or a loser, just an agreement reached whereby the two parties agree to disagree. This debate situation doesn't happen often, but when it does, I've always been baffled by the response of the "opponent" which is usually to fight (make it personal) or to take flight. Why don't people stay in the discussion until some resolution is reached, especially if the stakes are high?
Do you think I'm on to something?

I liked her hat

Paris? No.
Milan? No.
New York? No.
New Center? Yes!
Aretha Franklin's now-famous bow-tied, gift-wrapped, jewel-studded, $179 inaugural hat was designed, produced and sold to the Queen of Soul by Mr. Song Millinery, a family-owned business on Woodward Avenue just south of W. Grand Boulevard, a couple of blocks from the Fisher Building.
Starting minutes after Franklin finished her distinctive rendition of "My County 'Tis of Thee" Tuesday, the store's phones started ringing.
By this afternoon, they had sold hundreds of hats. A store they work with in Dallas had sold 500 more, and the material was running out.
"People are calling from England, asking for the hat," said Luke Song, who designed Franklin's chapeau. "I'm shocked. I had no idea. We did not expect this." (D News Jan 26, 2009)

I didn't care for Aretha's rendition of My Country Tis of Thee but I LOVED her flamboyant hat. I wish that more women actually wore hats in these days. Maybe this hat will start a come back. I know Syd agrees with me on this point. Think of how easy it would be to just GO every day by putting a hat on and not having to deal with fixing hair. So easy and so fun! Go Aretha Franklin!

An Answer to World Poverty

Deseret News editorial
Published: Monday, Jan. 26, 2009

World poverty won't be solved by grand schemes or government programs. As the worldwide microcredit movement has demonstrated, it will be solved one person at a time.
Incredibly, that approach has now reached more than 100 million individuals, which was the goal the movement established a decade ago.
Microcredit involves giving small loans, sometimes no more than a dollar or two, to hard-working but extremely impoverished people, and setting up a system that gives them support and tracks their progress. These new entrepreneurs use the money to establish their own businesses, and when they pay off the first loan, they get a loan that is a little larger, and so on. Eventually, they become self-sufficient and successful, able to afford food, shelter and educational opportunities for their children.
The founder of this idea, Muhammad Yunus, won the Nobel Peace Prize in 2006. His approach may well be the key not only to solving worldwide poverty, but to ending the threat of terrorism, which seems to find fertile ground amid the despair of endless poverty. If President Obama wants to dramatically increase U.S. aid to the poorest nations of the world, he could do much worse than to support a massive investment in microcredit programs.

Yunus was an economics professor in his native Bangladesh in 1974 when he decided to understand why economic theories seemed not to work in the everyday realities that surrounded him. He ventured into a nearby neighborhood where he met a young woman who made stools out of bamboo. She was borrowing money from a trader who then required her to sell the finished product back to him, leaving her with only about 2 cents per day for herself. Yunus decided to lend her $6, which was enough for her to buy her own bamboo. Right away, she began earning $1.25 per day, which made a huge difference.
In all, Yunus found 42 people in that neighborhood who needed a combined total of $27 to become more self-sufficient. He lent them the money out of his pocket. All of them repaid him.
When Yunus took his idea to banks, he found no one willing to help. So he formed his own, the Grameen Bank. Now, other banks have been formed to make similar loans.
It's scarcely possible to imagine 100 million people. Take the seemingly endless sea of faces that packed the Mall in Washington for Obama's inauguration and multiply it by 100. Then realize that each one has been lifted out of hopelessness and given a real chance to succeed.
That's a rare piece of bright economic news in these troubled times. It ought to spur Congress, the president and anyone else interested in ending poverty to a renewed emphasis on microloans.

This editorial in the DNews was of great interest to me. I'm a firm believer in microloans and support without reservation the mission and goals of these organizations that help people pull themselves out of grinding poverty:

Enterprise Mentors International (EMI) that I mentioned earlier here and here.

and the

Perpetual Education Fund of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

I believe that is it incumbent on those of us who can, to contribute to these organizations or others to help those less fortunate. Even a small donation a month will combine with other contributions to made a difference in the lives of people who are struggling to just survive and better themselves and their families.

One of the workers at EMI found my blog entry last fall and asked if they could link my blog write up on EMI to their blog (which they did.) They also asked if I would post a link to their EMI blog for readers of my blog. Here it is. Please take a minute to read over some of the stories of people who have been helped by microcredit loans. It just makes me think that I don't need one more new thing. I don't NEED anything. I can give more.

Happy 6th month anniversary!

I started my blog on July 27, 2008. It's been six whole months that I've been writing and posting and I've really enjoyed it. Who knew I had so many thoughts and things to share? I didn't, really. I do enjoy the outlet and I enjoy using it as a way to keep in touch with family and friends who live far from me. To my readers - I appreciate your support and encouragement! And to my greatest supporter VFR who says he looks forward to seeing what I write about - I say thanks! We've had many, many interesting discussions about blog topics. I know that I have some readers who don't ever comment, (and some who comment occasionally) but who have told me that they enjoy reading. All are welcome. I may run out of steam eventually, but for now I'll - Keep up the good work!

White (middle-aged wo)men can't jump

Lessons from Lot's wife

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland spoke this week at the BYU devotional. He gave a remarkable talk and I've been thinking a lot about it. The title of the talk was "Remember Lot's wife" and he spoke about not looking back, especially not looking back at past grievances. Here are some favorite quotes:

• Lot's wife ignored God's command to "look not behind thee" and, upon looking back, was turned into a pillar of salt. It wasn't just that she look back - she looked back longingly. In short, her attachment to the past outweighed her confidence in the future. That, apparently, was at least part of her sin.
  
• ...don't dwell on days now gone or yearn vainly for yesterday. The past is to be learned from but not lived in.
• Philippians 3: 13-14 - This one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Jesus Christ.
• Such an attitude leads to a universal timeless lesson, bemoaning that too many people fail to forgive and forget earlier mistakes in life. This is not good. It is not Christian. It stands in terrible opposition to the grandeur and majesty of the Atonement of Christ. To be tied to earlier mistakes - our own or other people's - is the worst kind of wallowing in the past from which we are called to cease and desist.
• Elder Holland asked that in all situations - including relationships, marriages and personal lives - ancient wounds not be reopened, the same wounds the Savior died trying to heal.
• Let people repent. Let people grow. Believe that people can change - and improve. Is that faith? Yes! Is it hope? Yes! Is it charity? Yes! Above all it is charity, the pure love of Christ.
• Forgive and then do what is harder to do - forget. And to forget again when it comes to mind again, remembering just enough to avoid repeating the mistake.
• Dismiss the destructive and keep dismissing it, until the beauty of the Atonement of Christ has revealed to you your bright future, and the bright future of your family and your friends and your neighbors.
• God doesn't care nearly as much about where you have been as He does about where you are and with His help, where you are willing to go.
• Keep your eyes on your dreams, however distant and live to see the miracles of repentance and forgiveness, trust and divine love transform your life today, tomorrow and forever.
  

Pancakes

No, not that kind literally (but they do look good!)

This thought has been rattling around in my head lately:
"There is no pancake so thin that it doesn't have two sides."

This is an oft quoted phrase in our home. It means that in every situation, there are at least two sides, at least two points of view and many differences in viewing situations and ways in doing things. Given the profession of many of our family members, considering the point of view of all parties is a predominant theme.

I believe the pancake statement to be true. It's something I acknowledge that I continue to work on by recognizing that I don't have a corner on the one and only perfect one-sided pancake or approach to life. Have you noticed what happens if a pancake isn't flipped in a timely fashion? One side burns while the other side remains uncooked! It's certainly doesn't look like the pictures above and it isn't appetizing or desirable. No one has a corner on the correct way to do things. There are as many ways to accomplish a goal as there are goals. There is no correct way to do any given task. There is only the way a person is the most comfortable with, which may or may not be the best way. There may be a handful of situations where an exact procedure needs to be followed, but most situations and traditions allow for variety in methods used to achieve the end result. There are traditions and procedures that become habits and people are generally very protective of their own traditions and procedures for accomplishing something, but that doesn't necessarily mean it is the BEST way. It's just a way, maybe even a good way, but not the only way. As I see it, problems often arise when someone feels like their way is being called into question. They usually become very protective and resistant to what they may perceive as an attack on their way of doing something or their point of view. After all, their way has been effective over the course of time and they generally want other people to support it (maybe even admire it and copy it.)
More than likely, everyone has had dealings with people who think that their side of the pancake is the only side of the pancake. They don't want the pancake to be flipped. They don't want to even consider a different point of view. Or, how about those who become defensive if you simply try to explain your view from your side of the pancake? They may feel like you are trying to attack their side of the pancake when all you are really tying to do is flip the darn thing.
Sometimes people of similar persuasions and thought processes band together to push their point of view off on others and to try and sway them into a certain way of thinking, or they belittle other points of view as being lesser in value than their own. Are you open to different points of view and different ways of doing things? How open are you to acknowledging that no pancake is so thin that it doesn't have two sides?

Best wishes

We have a new President. President Obama and his family, the 44th president of the United States of America - the most free, blessed, powerful, strong, prosperous, amazing, wonderful, generous country in the world. Long may she live. May this new president NOT mess with our freedoms, change our way of life or make our country weak. I'm very concerned, but hope for the best.

The answer to a cold house...

What was I thinking? I didn't need to spend $168 to get our furnace fixed! All I needed to do was order Snuggie for $14.95, with a reading lamp thrown in for good measure in case the electricity goes out! What a great idea for Emergency Preparedness!!! I know what I'm going to get R next year for Christmas!!! He can wear it to stay cozy and warm at sporting events (a.k.a. football games.) It's so versatile and snuggily warm and it comes in an assortment of colors, even BYU blue. Go Cougars! Go Snuggie!

Fit for the Kingdom

I just came across this interesting group of films today entitled "Fit for the Kingdom." They give a little unedited glimpse of life in a Mormon environment. They feature short documentary films on the lives of everyday members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I haven't watched them all, but the ones I have watched are insightful. Some of you will be very interested in the films entitled "Lorien" and "Lloya." There is also a quick guest appearance by someone Courtney will be very interesting in seeing in the one entitled "Girls' Camp." Who knew that our friends were so much more than movie stars?

A good time was had by all

Thursday - Rick and I took an afternoon flight to see R and Claire, wheat bread making demo for the Mia Maids in the evening for mutual at C&R's home, R and Rick had some bonding time

Friday - temple attendance, lunch with R and Keith and Lorie, some of our dear friends from college days who live in town (Claire was at work), evening games and ice cream with Rick's cousin and his family (he is also R and Claire's stake president)

Saturday - the guys played tennis and went running , and Claire and I went to the ice skating show of "HSM." This quote from Rick "Keith, on hearing about that asked if it wasn't gay enough as a play or movie, why did they have to make it more so by putting it on ice. Nice point." We didn't invite the guys to go and we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves! BYU basketball game that afternoon. Claire and R invited 50 of their BYU friends to attend, so we had a good group. The game was fun. Dinner at a great local restaurant and then two Netfliks movies back at their home.

Sunday - chilling out, reading and chatting, church, lovely dinner prepared by Claire, watched tennis, watched football, played Scattergories. Claire showed me how to operate my new camera which is a lot like hers.

Monday - R to work, the rest of us to play tennis. I played Claire and Rick played a man in their ward who wanted to get in on the action. I'm proud to report that I won two games out of about 10 against Claire (who is very good at tennis), so I feel pretty good about that! We played some doubles with the guys and had a good match. We did errands with Claire, helped her with some home projects and went to a movie (Last Chance Harvey - which we enjoyed) before heading to the airport. Got home to the FREEZING house.

It was a very fun and relaxing weekend. It was 60 degrees in the day and not that cold at night. We love visiting R and Claire and we enjoy every minute of our time together!

It's cold ouside (and inside)

Have you ever wondered how cold it would get in your house if your furnace didn't work? Well, we now have the answer to that question in our home. We came home last night from a four day trip to visit Claire and R. The minute we walked into the house I could tell that the heater hasn't on. It was probably off most of the time we were gone. The atomic clock thermometer registered at 43 degrees in our bedroom last night. Luckily we have a small electric space heater, so we turned that on all night and put more blankets on the bed. This morning when we woke up it registered at 63 degrees. Those twenty degrees made a huge difference!
This morning, it was 9 degrees outside. I went upstairs to try again and see if the furnace would start. Nothing. I could see my breath in Claire's room, the coldest room in the house. I'm sure it was around 36 degrees in there. We called the furnace repair guy and he came right away. It took him 15 minutes to replace a small fuse in the furnace electrical box. $168. A large price to pay for a small service, but a small price to pay for heat. Has something like this ever happened to you?

Baby Books

This year for Christmas I finally gave our kids their own baby books. I started a baby book for them when they were born and I actually recorded a bunch of information about their growth and experiences in each book. Then the years went by and pictures were taken out of the books for various reasons and they kind of fell in to disrepair. The pictures were scattered and disorganized. I spent some time this fall working on this project and it has taken me hours and hours to get it done. I reassembled each book with the new little glue dots that are now available and found most of the pictures that had been taken out. My friend, who makes her own paper and books from scratch, did some repair work on the bindings and got them back into great shape. I then took the books to Kinkos and made a color-copied book for Rick and me to keep. Then I gave our children their books for a Christmas gift, along with a separate photo book of about 100 or so of the other loose pictures I had of them. Now they finally have pictures of themselves in their childhood and youth to keep in their own homes, and we have a copy as well. Joy!
I also spent some time getting our family history book caught up from the years 2005, 2006 and 2007. Everyone cooperated and submitted their own family or personal written history along with some pictures and I got those books complied and bound as well. Everyone got a copy, so hopefully everyone will enjoy that slice of their own personal history as well.
It's been a great project to work on and I've enjoyed going through all the pictures and remembering so many wonderful days gone by. I love my family!

The Empty Nest

The Empty Nest - a book review
Claire gave me this book last year for my birthday. I've really enjoyed reading it. It's been helpful to be reminded that I'm not alone in my feelings of missing my children. The thing that's hard is not only the experience of trying to get accustomed to having our children out of the house, but also deciding what to do with myself now that they are gone. The book has been listed on my blog bookshelf for some time now. I finished it long ago, so I thought I'd give it a shout out today. It is a compilation of articles from 31 different parents. It's amazing to see how many people have similar feelings about the Empty Nest, even though their circumstances vary greatly. Here are some of my favorite quotes that express sentiments similar to my own:

#1 - I use to be the preferred one for my children and I miss that feeling. But, what was I thinking...that they would stay attached to me forever...ah maybe...well not attached, just in love with me.Yes, they do love me, it is just the definition of love keeps changing... I thought it meant chatting and spending time together. But then again, when I was in my twenties and thirties, I did’t chat and spend that much time with my folks.
So here it is... “get over yourself, mother”... that is what I tell myself... I am so much more than a mother, but I needed them to kick me out of the house so to speak.
#2 - The insidious thing about Sarah leaving is how subtly the balance tipped - how we endorsed the inevitable without realizing it. We taught her to flee, didn't we? We took her places and showed her the world beyond the safety of her crib. We encouraged her to take a look around, and once she's gone I will have lots of time to wonder why we didn't stick to the neighborhood, where we might have successfully raised a kid who never wanted to be more than a zip code away. We cannot hold Sarah back, and who would want to? Sarah leaving is a work in progress -- and leaving really is the wrong word, since it implies an absolute state, either here or gone, and she is not that. She will never be gone, no matter where she is, because feelings, because family, survive circumstance. Sarah is our girl, always. I might be able to put the sad moments in their place, and to be glad that my happy child wants to stay at the party, whatever the party is, for just a little while longer. Love like this requires faith.
#3 - It's not simply the loss of these particular people, living here day in , day out, the bickering, the inside jokes, the cereal bowls in the sink, and the towels in the hamper - all right, on the floor. It was who I was when I was with them: the general to their battalion, the president to their cabinet. Sometimes I just go into their rooms and just stand, touching their books, looking out their windows. "The shrine" the youngest says derisively. Three empty rooms, full of the ghosts of my very best self. Mom is my real name. It is, it is.
#4 - Mothering understood that separation is the destiny of mother and child, and it is the mother's job to remember this -- for the child's sake. Mothering knew that you have to raise your children to go away, or else you've failed utterly.
#5 - Never forget where you came from. One thing about having an empty nest, is that I have had time to think more about my own parents and about my departure a lifetime ago. I was so indifferent to what they went through. I put all my energy into separating myself from them as far as possible, both physically and emotionally because I was an adult and anxious to prove that fact. It wasn't until I became a parent myself that my roots began to matter to me - and my parents' struggles after I left became more understandable. We can't go back an undo the past, but we can learn from it.
#6 - After Darrah left, a particular engine of self began to rumble and move - the one that travels through time. I find that I feel much younger and distinctly older than I did before, and in ways I never could have predicted. Looking back, I think that this abrupt entry into a new life stage was like a cage door swinging open for a zoo animal: I didn't immediately realize that I was free...I began to experience an odd sense of lightness. It was as though springtime had entered by brain and body. It was the bodied experience of youth....I'm referring to feeling young in the specific way I did as an adult in my twenties and thirties, before becoming a mother. Back then, I had the relative luxury of obsessing about just one person - Me. I'd just spent 20 years reeling with the worries, plans and daily concerns of another human being and now she was launched into her own realm. I would always love her and be concerned about her, but I did not have the power to guarantee her happiness or well-being. That was up to her now and that recognition gave me an enormous sense of freedom.

There is a lot written on dealing with the Empty Nest on the internet. Here is a sample:



7 ways to Vanquish the Empty Nest Blues see this article

Plan Ahead
The Importance of Friends
Rekindle Romance
Rekindle Friendships
Volunteer
Nurture Your Extended Family
Explore Your own Talents and Abilities

It's your turn.

Home Alone

I wonder how long it will take me to be comfortable with being home alone.
The first summer after we got married, I worked full-time at a fabric store at the mall and I was never home alone. That fall Rick started graduate school and I started working another job full-time during the day and I was never home alone. Jordan came along when I was still working full-time. I didn't stop working until Rick had a job and we had two children to keep me company. Then I quit my job and I was home, but I wasn't alone. This continued for 27 years.

Last year Andy moved out and went to live in an apartment with his friends. I came home after work in the afternoon to an empty house. I'd be alone for 2-3 hours until Rick got home. It was kind of unnerving. It was so quiet. It was kind of lonely. I had to figure out things to do to keep busy. I really missed my kids. I loved all their activity, their friends, conversations with them and events to attend and frankly, I liked doing stuff for them. It gave me purpose and direction. Tears were shed when they all left, but I've tried to be brave and stay productive. The Empty Nest was/is a hard reality for me to face.

Now it's been almost a year since we've had any kids living in our home. Their bedrooms have all been emptied of their stuff (except for Andy's room.) I've been home alone in the afternoon most days. Sometimes I think of things to do so I don't have to go home alone. It's still so different. I'm not scared, I'm just alone. It's hard to describe. I like to do my own things, but it seems so selfish.

I can't imagine living alone. I know this much - living alone isn't for wimps. Seriously, how do people do it? Thank goodness I have a husband who does come home at night. We love our evenings together and we are enjoying this time when it is just the two of us again.

I just have one question...will it take me 27 years to get use to not having our children in our home?

HPV

This morning when I read the newspaper, I saw this obituary. I don't often read the obituaries, but sometimes one will stand out because of the young age of the person. Here is what it said (I deleted the last names):

Pamela lost her battle with cervical cancer in the early morning hours of Saturday, January 10, 2009; she was 38.Pam was an incredible mom to five amazing kids and wife to Ben, the love of her life. Pam was a bright star in a sometimes not-so-friendly world. People were drawn to Pam wherever she went.She was a best friend, great sister, loving daughter and just a joy to know. She was one of those people who made you feel special just because you are you. Her spirit was one of love, hope and absolute determination. Her positive, loving attitude was contagious and she always could make you laugh no matter the circumstances. She touched many and she will be sorely missed.She is survived by her husband Ben, her children: Austin, Torie, Dallen , and Masen Wake, and Ryker; her parents Ken and Sherry, many aunts, uncles, cousins and nieces and nephews, and her sidekick, her dog, Reload. She is also survived by a family she dearly loved, Ben's parents Kevin and Teri.

What a sad obituary. My heart goes out to the family of this young woman. Cervical cancer took the life of a beautiful young mother.

It isn't easy to talk about this topic, but for some it could be a matter of life or death. There is new information available about HPV if you are not aware of the recent advances taken to fight cervical cancer. Check out this information here. "A vaccine can now protect females from the four types of HPV that cause most cervical cancers and genital warts. The vaccine is recommended for 11 and 12 year-old girls. It is also recommended for girls and women age 13 through 26 who have not yet been vaccinated or completed the vaccine series....So the only sure way to prevent HPV is to avoid all sexual activity.
Individuals can also lower their chances of getting HPV by being in a mutually faithful relationship with someone who has had no or few sex partners. However, even people with only one lifetime sex partner can get HPV, if their partner was infected with HPV. For those who are not in long-term mutually monogamous relationships, limiting the number of sex partners and choosing a partner less likely to be infected may lower the risk of HPV. Partners less likely to be infected include those who have had no or few prior sex partners. But it may not be possible to determine if a partner who has been sexually active in the past is currently infected."

Good news! A vaccine designed to protect against the two most common cancer-causing types of the HPV virus is available! The first such HPV vaccine, called Gardasil® (developed by Merck & Co., Inc.), was approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) in June 2006. Another, called Cervarix™ (made by GlaxoSmithKline, Inc.), is in developement. With the introduction of the first HPV vaccine, the dream of eliminating cervical cancer is increasingly within reach.

And this article:
Key Points About HPV:
HPV (human papillomavirus) is a common virus that infects the skin and mucous membranes.
There are about 100 types of HPV. Approximately 30 of those are spread through genital contact (typically sexual intercourse). Around 12 – called "low-risk" types of HPV – can cause genital warts. In addition, there are approximately 15 "high-risk" types of HPV that can cause cervical cancer.
It is estimated that 80 percent of all women – and 50 percent of men and women combined – will get one or more types of "genital" HPV at some point in their lives.
Although risk factors like smoking can contribute to your chance of developing cervical disease, HPV must first be present.
Fortunately, in most people, the body's immune system fights off or suppresses the HPV virus before it causes problems. It is only when the infection persists that it can cause cells to become abnormal.
Infection with the most common types of "genital" HPV can be prevented with the HPV vaccine. However, vaccination is only fully effective if administered before a girl or young woman has been exposed to those types of HPV through sexual contact. In addition, the vaccine does not protect against all types of HPV that can cause cervical cancer. Thus, it is important to get a regular Pap and – if you're over 30 – an HPV test, even if you've been vaccinated. A Pap can identify abnormal cells, and the digene HPV Test detects the presence of 13 high-risk types of HPV. Together, they help make sure abnormal cells are diagnosed and treated early.

What can you do to prevent cervical cancer?

The best way to protect yourself is to get regular cervical cancer screenings with the Pap and – if you're older than 30 – the HPV test. Together, these tests determine if you are likely to have or to develop abnormal cells that could become cancerous if not removed. If your Pap looks abnormal and HPV testing shows you have an infection with a high-risk type of the virus, your doctor, nurse or other healthcare professional can perform an additional exam called a colposcopy to determine if any abnormal cells need to be removed.

Virtue

What does this word mean to you?
If interested, see this talk given by Sister Elaine Dalton "A Return to Virtue" in the October 2008 General Conference and read her definition.
On 12/14/08 Sister Mary Cook, 1st counselor in the general YW presidency taught the RS lesson at the MTC on the topic. She told us about the addition of the value of virtue to the YW theme. She said this is a BIG deal, since the theme hasn't been changed in years. They will now have to reprint all the Personal Progress materials and add new lessons and activities to support this new value. But with the support of the 1st presidency, they have proceeded. This is how important they all feel that it is to put an emphasis on the value of VIRTUE for latter-day saint young women. She said that there would be a new emphasis on teaching virtue to the Young Women in the church, in fact, to all members. She said "We hope that there will be a return to virtue. The temple is our focus and worthiness is the key." She said the value color would be gold to remind us of strength, beauty, a refining process that needs to be gone through to achieve success and that it is a precious metal of great value. We explored many scriptures on the subject of virtue. Some of my favorites were:
Proverbs 31:10 - who can find a virtuous woman, for her price is far above rubies
Proverbs 12:4 - a virtuous woman is a crown to her husband
Ruth 3:11 - for all the city of my people know that thou art a virtuous woman (the importance of having a good reputation)
Moroni 9:9 - that which was most precious and dear above all things, which is chastity and virtue
Mark 5:24-34 - the story of the woman touching the robe of Christ and he saying that virtue (or power and strength) had gone out of him
Doctrine and Covenants 121:45 - let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong
the 13th article of Faith...virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy
and the Bible Dictionary - see the word GRACE - it is defined as strength and assistance to do good works, the enabling power that allows men and women to lay hold of eternal life and exaltation, after they have expended their own best efforts.


She said something that really struck me. She said - "You as women are the guardians of the virtue of your own posterity. We cannot leave the teaching of this value of virtue to others. If we don't set the example of being virtuous to our own sons and daughters, how will they know how important it is?" She also said that people are not generally drawing the connection between modesty and virtue. If we are not modest, chances increase dramatically that virtue will not be protected and can be lost.
She asked all the sister missionaries to stand and repeat the YW theme, adding the new value. It was very dramatic and powerful as hundreds of virtuous young women stood to declare:

"We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him. We will 'stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places' (Mosiah 18:9) as we strive to live the Young Women values, which are: Faith, Divine Nature, Individual Worth, Knowledge, Choice and Accountability, Good Works, Integrity and Virtue.

"We believe as we come to accept and act upon these values, we will be prepared to strengthen home and family, make and keep sacred covenants, receive the ordinances of the temple, and enjoy the blessings of exaltation."

Indulgences

House work done - check
Hot bubble bath using products give to me by Dave and Courtney for Christmas - check
Pandora music playing on the computer with a thread from Andrea Bocelli radio - check
A nice tall glass of sassy water - check

Heaven.

Guinea Pig

Since I work in a research office, I know how important scientific findings are to making discoveries and changing behavior based on those discoveries.

I've been involved in a fitness research project for middle-aged women conducted at BYU over the last 10 years or so. It has involved recording everything I ate for a week, wearing an activity monitor to measure my activity, having a blood test done, having a complete body scan done to measure body fat, running on a treadmill to measure fitness and doing other fitness measures, and then filling out extensive questionnaires about my life style. I've also had my carotid artery measured with an MRI to show what kind of blockage is building in my arteries. I've gone through these tests about once a year over that last ten years or so. It's been very interesting to participate in the studies and all the testing was done for free. I've learned a lot about my own health and fitness from participating and I'm happy to report that I'm in decent shape.


Recently some of the findings were published.

"Brigham Young University researchers report in the next issue of the American Journal of Health Promotion that the middle-aged women they studied had more than twice the risk of substantial weight gain if they did not become more restrained in their eating. "

Check this out in the Washington Post and WebMed with these startling headlines from the research findings-

It Pays to Eat Less as You Age

Women Warned: Eat Less or Weigh More

Shocking!!!!

I could have told you that without all the research.

A love/hate relationship

Brigham Young University


The name of the university generally conjures up strong feelings in people. Some love it. Some hate it. Some have grudging respect for it, some have tremendous respect for it and some have no respect at all.

If you want to find out a few more facts and statistics about BYU, check out this web site. called Y Facts.

I've had a long history with the university. 36 years ago I asked my parents if I could attend BYU instead of going to Ricks college like my older siblings. They agreed that I could if I could get admitted. Back in those days, being admitted wasn't that hard to do. Their support started me down a road that I am still traveling. I've had a long history with BYU since that point. I met my husband my freshman year while living on campus. I attended BYU from 1973-1979, graduating with a degree in Home Economics Education (taking a break to serve a mission from 1976-1978.) All four of our children have attended, with three of them graduating so far. All of our in-law children graduated from BYU as well. I have one brother and three sisters who attended, and two brothers-in-law and three sisters-in-law who attended. It's a common denominator for many discussions and shared experiences. I know a thing or two about the university. Here are a few thoughts:

• It's isn't perfect, nor does it claim to be. Sometimes when people are trying to progress and improve, it can be interpreted as being self-righteous and/or acting superior. In some instances, this may be true, but generally I've observed that students are just trying to get by, do the best they can and obtain their education.




• It is very competitive to be admitted. I think that this factor has soured many people towards BYU. Various alumni members who attended and had a great experience, now want their children to have that same opportunity. Sadly, not everyone is admitted who wants to attend. This causes many hard feelings towards the university on the part of the student and their parents.




• It's generally a place made up of good people like anywhere else. But just like anywhere, there are all sorts of people with different interests and abilities. No, it isn't the most racially diverse place nor is diversity of styles and opinions some of its stronger points. It can't be, given the parameters of the university. It's a faith based university that brings people together with similar standards. This factor causes a lot of grief for some people. It has an honor code and a dress code that students, employees and faculty are expected to uphold. Standards of conduct set it apart from 99% of other universities. It's the university sponsored by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Its board of trustees is made up of the President of the Church and other church leaders. They are conservative in their administrative duties.
• BYU isn't a good fit for everyone, and granted, not every LDS student wants to attend. That is as it should be. There are certainly many, many other great places to receive an education, some of them even very close by.
• There are some "strange" people at BYU. But anywhere you go, there are "different" types of people. This is a common occurrence in any high school, office setting or large group of people. There are over 30,000 students on the campus and you will see ALL kinds. BYU students can't be categorized into one group. Some people choose to think that "they" are all weird, but I don't agree. They are mostly just great young men and women who are trying to make a difference in the world and who are working hard to receive training and education.
• I'm not even going to get into talking about sports on campus. That is a whole other animal.
• I think BYU delivers a good product. Not superior, certainly not the "Harvard of the West", but a good, solid education. Some programs and disciplines are superior, but mostly, the curriculum is solid. The classes are generally very challenging. I think those students who have attended other universities and transferred into BYU are in the best position to say how it stacks up against other colleges and universities for rigor.
• I do have one question...how can some members of the LDS church say they "hate or strongly dislike" BYU when it is the university sponsored by their own church? Is that animosity directed towards the board of trustees, the student body, the faculty and staff, the physical facilities and/or the athletic teams? Who/what is it that is so distasteful that it is worthy of such scorn? I wonder if there are many vocal Catholic members who say they "don't like or can't stand" Notre Dame? Or Methodist members who despise SMU? If they pledge allegiance to another university and support and attend another school - great. But why diss the school that is supported by ones own church?
  
• Even though it is considered a "bubble" experience by some to attend BYU, we're fortunate that our children could attend to obtain their undergraduate education. They got the opportunity to associate with other people of similar standards of conduct and belief. They got the opportunity to take religion classes that helped build their faith. They got the chance to work, serve and travel through internships and study abroad that helped broaden their horizons. They made life-long friends that have enriched their lives. The "real" world comes soon enough. I'm glad they could have the BYU experience.
• It is a unique place. It has a mission to accomplish like no other. I'm proud to be an alumnus even despite all its shortcomings, foibles and flaws. I'm a Cougar through and through and proud of it (even if all the other kids scoot away from me!)

Some audio clips and sweet pictures taken from talks given by President Gordon B. Hinckley to students at BYU.

Winter wear

Why is it that kids don't wear warm winter clothes when they go outside anymore?

Remember the scene in A Christmas Story when it takes the mother a half hour to get the kid brother ready to go outside? And when she's finished, he can't even walk or bend? This is truly the way it was!!!

I have distinct memories of taking great pains (literally) to get ready to go outside in the winter to get on the bus to go to school. Hat. Coat. Gloves. Scarf. Boots. Sometimes complete head to toe snowsuits. We'd put this stuff on several times a day as well when leaving home, going out to recess, going out to play during lunch, leaving school to go home, and sometimes putting it on at home to go outside to play or work.

And the boots were the worst. They were over boots that had to put on over shoes. You had to cram your shoes into the boot and then pull your shoe out of the boot when you wanted to put it back on. The invention of Moon Boots was heaven sent! No outer boat, no inner shoe - it was all just one piece! Who ever invited this concept deserves to be a millionaire.

But I digress...

Why don't a bunch of kids nowadays wear warm clothes in the winter? Like today for instance. I saw two kids on campus wearing SHORTS and flip flops. It was snowing like crazy and they were in summer wear. Many were wearing a sweat shirt, jeans, tennis shoes, nothing on their heads and no gloves.

When my kids were growing up (especially Andy) they would routinely leave home headed for school in a tee shirt. In the WINTER. Given, the school was close, but not that close. I would yell my obligatory "Wear a coat, it's winter outside!" which would be promptly ignored. I see kids in the neighborhood walking to school all the time in summer wear and no coats.

I don't get it. It must have something to do with supposed coolness (and I don't mean that literally.) What gives?

Moving on ~ the ball drops on a new year

Christmas is over. All the visitors have called in that they are safely back to their own homes. The last family left this morning at 7:00 am. I'll admit to a few tears as they pulled away with the grand babies in tow. We had 15 wonderful consecutive days with family members back in our home over the holiday. Now it's time to clean up and get back to work after a two week break. It's good I have work to turn to. I'm back at my post in the morning.

Here are a few thoughts:

1. It's good to have it come, but it's good to have it go. Living in "Holiday" mode is exhausting!
2. When it's over, it's over. Why is it that I can't get enough of the music, the tree and all the activities, but when it's over, I'm done. Period.
3. We completely lose track of which day of the week it is. They all seem like a Saturday, 7 days a week during the Christmas season.
4. $400 of food disappears quickly with a house full of family.
   
5. I can't wait to get the tree down and out of the room. All 17 plastic bins full of decorations back to the garage until next year.
6. My to do list: write thank you cards for all the wonderful gifts I/we received, wash the company bedding and towels, get rid of any remaining candy and treats (take it to my office for the young workers there...please eat it....please), clean and dejunk the rooms after undecorating, bring in the new - pass on the old (we have entirely too much STUFF as it is), spent some time learning how to operate my new techno gifts (help!), make five realistic and attainable goals for the new year, always remember the good times we had enjoying Christmas 2008! Thanks to all our family and friends who made this holiday so fun and memorable. I love you!!!
   

Happy 2009! Onward and upward!!

Ya gotta see it to believe it

This from our friend Mark: "Sunday morning, Colleen went down to the kitchen at 7:30am and looked out the window. In our backyard was something wandering around that didn't belong. We called the police but by the time they arrived, it had moved a block down the street. See what visited us Sunday morning - Pretty exciting!"
Go to this link and be sure to click on the feature and listen to the report!!!!
















If you were born around 1950, you'll remember this old jingle... "which twin has the Tony?" or in other words... which of two items is authentic? Which picture shows the real McCoy, and which is a cheap knock off? These are pictures taken in our valley recently.
You decide which is REAL...the one above or the one below???

The pictures above or the picture below.....????
Honestly, what were the design people thinking??? Who rips off STONEHENGE of England in such a distasteful way? Now that Orem has it's own Stonehenge, the authentic one in England will have to label theirs STONEHENGE OF ENGLAND to differentiate. So, so silly and pathetic.
















Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! So stupid and embarrassing!!!!

















On to other cheap imitations.....where do you think we are in this shot?
















You never know when a WILD game of keep away with the green plastic colander will break out...be sure to duck or they'll take you out!
















My sister Janet pointed out to me that I should have listed this next item in my list of Christmas Traditions. I agree. She'd been watching for it to be listed with the traditions all during the month of December, but alas, it wasn't listed. She and her family have seen the display as well several time and consider it very festive. Since we're past Christmas now, I'll list in here in "ya gotta see it to believe it." Yes folks, that's right, those are TWO four wheelers in the living room of this home with Mr. and Mrs. Claus riding them. Every year this family does a wonderful Christmas show room featuring some MAJOR Christmas decorations. They empty their entire living room and fill it with a Christmas scene for the entire month of December. The year Utah hosted the 2002 winter Olympics, they built a ski run with down hill skiers coming off the hill. They've had Santa on snow mobiles and other wonderful exhibits over the years. It's a favorite tradition to see what they create each year. I do have one question though...how do they get along without their living room for the entire month of December???
Ya gotta see it to believe it!

















At a local museum, we saw this interesting "art" display. High volume blowers blowing on packing peanuts to create art. It was actually quite original along with the other art attractions! Why didn't I think of that? Ya, I know, I know, ya gotta see it.....
















This is my husband, the gentleman boxer in shirt and tie, taking out his frustrations on a punching bag. You don't see that every day either. Fight, Rick, fight!!!

















This is a video of a mother beating the stuffing out of her daughter (if it will ever finish uploading.) I mean, she's really taking her to the house of pain. Hard. It's one of those things ya gotta see to believe. (Stay tuned, I' m having trouble with this upload....)
Enjoy!