The sisterhood of the traveling wedding dress(es)

Rick and I got married on June 16 of 1979.  At the time I was having trouble finding a wedding dress that fit and one that I could afford.  I was 5' 10" and weighed 120 pounds.  Not many wedding dresses were available off the rack that would fit such a frame.  I started looking in wedding magazines and came across this pictures of the dress I instantly fell in love with.  Since I was finishing up my final semester at BYU I didn't have time to sew the dress myself.  I found a seamstress and took the picture to her and told her that I wanted her to make the exact dress shown in the picture in the magazine.  She charged me $150 for the fabric and for her time and made me this beautiful dress that could be worn in the LDS temple.  The seamstress made the veil with a Juliette cap and I was so happy with the finished product.

January 1979

June 1979

The dress traveled on and some years later, my sister Lee was in the market for a wedding dress.  She and Mike were preparing to be married and she asked if she could wear my dress.  Since she was the same height and weight, the dress worked perfectly for her.  She added the white hat shown below and made it her own, just like the original picture.  She looked beautiful in the traveling wedding dress on her special day.

June 1985

After Lee wore the dress, I carefully packed it in my mom's cedar chest that I had inherited and it sat there for nearly 30 years.  I wrapped it in blue tissue paper that I was told would keep it from yellowing and put it in a box for storage in the cedar chest.  When our own two daughters got married, I didn't even remember that the dress was in my cedar chest.  I regret that we didn't even get it out and have them try it on!  It would have been fun for them to at least try it on, even if they wouldn't have chosen it for their own wedding dress.

Fast forward to February 2013.  My future daughter-in-law Chelsea was preparing to marry our son Andy.  We went out on a wedding dress shopping spree and she tried on several beautiful dresses.  She couldn't find exactly what she was looking for.  I asked her to describe what she wanted.  She described the lower half of my wedding dress.  She wanted a soft, flowing fabric that would look great at the beach in the breeze.  She didn't want it to be too fussy, and not have lace or beading.  She wanted a soft cross-over fabric top with a "flutter sleeve" that looked elegant and classy.  I told her about my dress and invited her to try it on.  The bottom half was just what she wanted!  I don't know why she didn't want the bell sleeves, stand up lace color and lace jacket with the pearl buttons all the way down the back that went with it, but alas, she did not.  I told her I could take the top off my dress and sew her a new top that met her specifications.  She was thrilled!  Through a series of miracles we found matching fabric and the challenge was underway to make my dress her own.  I'll admit that there was literally blood (needle pricked fingers), sweat and tears along the way by the seamstress, but at last, the dress of her dreams came to be! We took the Juliette cap off my veil and attached it to a new hair comb and the matching fabric from my veil was the final touch to go with her dress.  She looked beautiful in a dress that was 34 years old on the bottom and brand new on the top.  (Thank goodness the 34 year old zipper held up as well.)  She was the most beautiful bride I had ever seen on June 14, 2013 in the Los Angeles, LDS temple.

June 2013

Another family wedding dress has also had a great history.  In January of 2004 we were on the lookout for a wedding dress for Jordan.  Given her tall stature and slim figure, once again we were faced with a similar problem of finding a dress that fit.   After a fruitless search for a dress, I proceeded to make a wedding dress for Jordan and three months later, Claire wore the same dress. I was quite relieved that I didn't have to make two dresses since my two daughters got married three months apart.

May 2004

August 2004

Six years later, my niece Jessica was looking for a wedding dress.  Coincidentally, she is the daughter of my sister Lee who wore my dress all those years ago.  She tried on the dress I made for Jordan and Claire and loved it.  She made it her own my adding the red ribbon and the white fur cape for her winter wedding.  She looked stunning. 

December 2010

So, that's it. The end of the story of the sisterhood of the traveling wedding dress(es)...or is it?  Two dresses...six weddings.  Each look unique and beautiful.  Will the dresses travel on?

5 years and counting

Happy birthday to my blog!  It's 5 years old today.  I still enjoying writing on it and posting various things I come across that are interesting to me.  Granted, I don't post as often as I use to, but I still plan to continue on.  I know that blogs are losing their popularity, but I plan to keep on posting.  It's interesting to me to hear from various people who say they follow my blog and that I should continue to write and to post.  It's amazing to see from Google Analytics all the people who read my blog from around the world.  Occasionally I'll get a comment from some random person about something I've posted and I enjoy hearing from them.   I'm not a journal writer, so this is at least one way I can preserve some thoughts and feelings on various topics and to share what is going on in our family with those who are interested.  So, happy 5th birthday little blog of mine.  I hope you enjoy your creme brulee! It's one of my favorite desserts...

July 8, 1983

My dad has been gone for 30 years now.  30 years.  Think of all the living, all the loving, all the adventures, achievements, heartache, set backs and milestones that have been experienced in that time.  He missed it all and we have missed his influence and his participation in our lives all those years. I do like to think that he is aware of us and our happenings, to some degree.  It's sometimes hard to not think about what might have been.  My children didn't even get the chance to know him and that makes me the saddest of all.  Rick knew him and loved him and for that I am grateful.  He understands when I speak of him in glowing terms and he agrees with the accolades.

Dad passed away on July 8, 1983.  He was only 61 years old and our mother was 56. I was just a kid at 28 years old.  Rick and I had our two little children, Jordan and Claire who were three years old and a year and a half.  It was a busy and stressful time for us. Rick had  graduated from BYU law school and he was preparing for the bar exam.  I was still working trying to make some money to make ends meet.  Dad had been diagnosed with cancer growing on his spine in October of 1982.  From that point until the end of his life we had hope and prayed that he would beat it somehow.  It wasn't to be.  He passed away in our home in Rupert early on a hot summer day.  We were all surrounding his bed, knowing that they end was near.  His mother was still living and it about killed her to bury her oldest son.  Our mom tended to his needs for those long months of his illness, surgeries and treatments and it was the hardest thing she has even done to lose her sweet husband.  The pain of separation was raw and real and it lasted a long time.  His siblings, my siblings, their spouses and the other grandchildren all wept and suffered greatly at his passing.  It was a staggering loss for all of us of a dear, sweet, kind man who had influenced our lives for good in so many ways.  It was hard to understand.  I miss him still.  I'll miss him always until I see him again.

And this is the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ!  I can see him again!  I believe that he is in a place where he was been busily engaged in a good cause for these past 30 years.  Although we can't see him, we know his spirit still exists and that someday it will be reunited with his body.  I've always had the desire to see him again, to be with him again, to hug him, to see his clear blue eyes and to dwell where he is.  I know it is possible.  I have to do my part.  I have to follow God's plan and to follow the example of the Savior.  I need to apply the atonement in my life and repent of my many wrong doings.  I need to strive to be all that I can and work towards that goal.  If I do what I can, the Savior will make up the rest and my dream of seeing my father will come to pass. We have to do, not just believe for faith without works is dead.

I've been reminded of these core principles as we've been with Rick's dad these past many weeks.  His 89 year old body is failing. His spirit is strong, but the flesh is worn out.  He keeps sharing little pieces of advice like "it doesn't matter how long you live, it only matters how you live."  "Do your part so that we can be together as a family always."  'I love you all." 

It's an amazing thought to realize that I was only on the earth for 28 years with my dad.  Four of those years overlapped when I met my father-in-law or my dad #2 and got married.  The last 30 years I have only had my dad #2.  It's been a longer space of time that I've been without my dad than I was with him.  That is kind of hard to believe.  I just know it's been a long, long time since I last saw my dad, by I'm very glad that I've had the influence, love and support of my dad #2.   These spiritual, emotional, intellectual, physical giants are/were in our lives to make them better and to be examples of how to live life well. I'm so grateful for a father and a father-in-law who have had a tremendous impact of my life for good. I'm just feeling so grateful right now.  Very, very grateful.

40 year reunion...really??

We are all in this together.  We need each other, oh, how we need each other.  Those of us who are old need you are who are young.  And, hopefully, you who are young need some of us who are old.  It is a sociological fact that women need women.  We need deep and satisfying and loyal friendships with each other.  These friendships are a necessary source of sustenance.

Marjorie Pay Hinckley

I got to attend my 40 year high school class reunion last Friday night.  It was wonderful!  Rick was planning to go with me, but at the last minute his dad became ill and he went to help him.  He encouraged me to forge on to Idaho myself to attend the dinner that evening. I'm so glad he did.  I was a little nervous going by myself and seeing people I haven't seen for years, especially since I don't look like I use to (and neither do they!).  As soon as I walked into the door I felt at ease.  We were given name tags with our old high school pictures on them along with our maiden names.  I immediately saw old friends who I haven't seen in years.  I was such a sweet reunion.  We talked and talked, enjoyed dinner, a program and then more visiting afterward.  Our graduating class in 1973 was one of the largest that even graduated from the high school.  It was about 385 students and since it was a county high school, people came from some distance to attend the school.  Someone had prepared a slide show of old pictures from back in the day.  It was fun to see the long hair from the early 70s, the clothes, the prom dresses and some of the activities we use to do.  Title 9 wasn't in effect then, and it was amazing to see that we didn't have very many sports for girls.  It was a walk down memory lane. I haven't seen some of those friends for 20 or more years, since we only have a reunion every 10 years.  It was so fun to find out what they have been doing with their lives.  

The next morning, we had an LDS seminary reunion at the seminary building.  One of our class mates, Bruce N. spoke about directing the new LDS church Bible videos.  It was fascinating!  Again, it was so wonderful to see old friends and to learn about all the good they are doing in the world.  Although we didn't take any pictures, we exchanged email address and promised to "friend" each other on Facebook to stay in touch.  I told them that I'm so proud to be from Rupert, Idaho.  I'm proud of the community, for the values I was taught, for learning to live the "Rupert Way."  I attribute my core values and beliefs not only to my parents and family, but to my neighborhood and community.  I'll be forever grateful for being raised in a farming community with good, down-to-earth people who exemplify the values of what matters  most in life.

 Go Minico Spartans!

The new normal

Is anything truly normal?  Life is constantly changing and "normal" usually doesn't last for very long.  Things come and go.  Relationships change.  People change (some for the better, some for the worst.)  Jobs, homes and interests change.  People grow up, grow older and they try and endure the hand they are dealt.  Life.  The only constant thing about it is...change. There is no going back to the "old normal."

Last July 2 I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  That realization changed a lot of things.  More than anything it made me realize that I'm not in control of much of anything.  I had a life plan.  I was working my plan.  Life was going along well.  Then...boom! Change.  I'm still working my plan but I'm much more aware of the precious time we are given in this life and of the precarious position we are in at all times.  Relationships are what matter most.  Accumulating "stuff" and possessions matter least. I've been the recipient of tremendous love and support.  I know who I can count on.  Some power, some larger plan is in control of the details of our lives and if we can learn to have faith, patience and hope, we can weather the storms that will surely come our way.  I've decided that everyone has challenges.  They test us, try us and make us dig deep to see what we are truly made of.  Our reaction to our challenges is a pretty good measure of who we really are and who we trust and turn to when the going gets tough.  I decided long ago to put my faith in God.  I truly believe that He was a plan for me and mine.  He knows what challenges I need to refine my body, mind and soul.  This past year has taught me that.  He is in control.  He loves me.  I love Him.

This last year has been a journey through new experience and uncertainty.  I'm winding down on the new experiences.  I've got three more doses of Herceptin and then I can get the port removed from my neck. The uncertainty will remain and I will live with it now.  Will the cancer return?  When?  Where?  What can be done about it?  Those kinds of questions inevitably go through a person's mind.  I don't dwell of them, but they are part of the new normal. I've had cancer in my body and while I'm hopeful it has been eradicated, they are no guarantees.  Next week I go in for a mammogram.  I'm hoping for a "normal" review of things of course, but have to also prepare for any eventuality. Part of the new normal is that breast cancer is now a member of our family. Like it or not, those are the facts.

My new normal involves changes to my body that weren't there before.  Of course my hair looks so different.  My little grand daughter saw my wig on the dresser and wanted to know when I was going to wear it again.  I asked her if she wanted me to wear it every day and cover up my short salt and pepper hair and she said yes.  That look was the "old normal" look that people are use to and comfortable with.  I don't look like I use to look.  I'm OK with that.  I'm not the same person.  I don't want to go back to coloring my hair and wearing it longer.  Been there, done that. I'm different and I'm going to embrace that difference, knowing that it will take people time to get use to the new normal.
I bruise easily.  I usually have some bruise somewhere on my body from simply bumping into things.  I have neuropathy in my hands and feet. The bottoms of my feet close to my toes are numb.  Can't feel much and that feels weird.  My toes feel like they are on fire many times during the day.  My fingertips are numb and very dry.  I hope that changes with time but it may not.  Chemo kills off the bad cancer cells and some of the good cells as well and can cause nerve damage.  A few lingering digestive issues may remain.  Overall, I feel fine and I'm grateful for that, considering the poison treatments that were put in my body.  I'm grateful to be standing and moving forward to find my new normal.  My oncologist told me that if I completed all my treatments, I would have a good chance of a 90% survival rate. One year done, hopefully many more to go! The first two years after diagnosis are critical.  Get past those and I should be good to continue to enjoy my "new normal" life.

#4 tied the knot! Andy and Chelsea got married!

I've been in wedding preparation mode for many weeks/months now.  I do enjoy event planning and I got a big dose of it this last couple of months getting ready for Andy and Chelsea's wedding. This trip put my planning skillz to the test since there were so many moving parts. The wedding was a great success and we enjoyed our time with family and friends on June 14 in the Los Angeles,  LDS temple.  Here's a recap of the goings on:
Tuesday, June 11
I got a dose of Herceptin (no time to take it easy this time around), picked up Mom from the shuttle, picked up the rental Ford Expedition, packed and loaded lots and lots of decorations for the CA reception, loaded the Hyundai and got Andy and Chelsea on their way to Vegas
Wednesday, June 12
Rick drove the Lexus to St. George where we left it at the Philipps' home for his return trip, I drove the Expedition with Mom, Pat and Vern had planned to drive down with Rick and attend the wedding, but we found out while driving that Rick's father Vern has lung cancer which made us so very sad to hear, arrived in Redlands, CA and went to dinner with Robyn and Bob and enjoyed Thai food and good conversation as always before hitting the sack
Thursday, June 13
Rick drove Robyn and Bob's car and I drove the big car to LAX to pick up R and Claire and kiddos along with Dave, drove to the reception place in Malibu to help set up, met up with Courtney and Charlie, Jord and Jake and girls, left to go set up for the rehearsal/family dinner at Duke's restaurant that evening, gathered up all our kids and grand kids along with Chelsea's family and some of our close friends (Marcy & Bruce and Mark & Colleen) for a lovely ocean side dinner with 50 in attendance, tributes, video life recap for Andy and Chelsea, headed to the Sheraton hotel in Augora Hills and checked in and collapsed into bed
Friday, June 14 WEDDING DAY!!
Got all gussied up and ready for the day, drove the 30 miles to the Los Angeles temple in just under 40 minutes, gathered up with family and friends to witness the sealing of our dear son and his beautiful bride, all our four children and their spouses present and accounted for, lots of emotion, pure joy that has no words to adequately describe it, shook hands with President Uchtdorf of the 1st presidency of the LDS church who was at the LA temple to seal his grandson, pictures afterwards, lunch at a slow service restaurant, trip back to Malibu took two hours to cover the same 30 miles in horrible traffic, stressed big time, arrived at the ring ceremony just minutes before it started in the car of my sis-in-law Deborah, Rick officiated at the ring ceremony and did a wonderful job, back to the Morning View mansion for the reception, fun evening, dancing, tributes, beautiful setting, bride and groom picked up by a town car and whisked away to their honeymoon, cleaned up and packed up afterwards, late to bed exhausted
Saturday, June 15
Gave Robyn and Bob's car back, took possession of the Hyundai again, packed and organized to get everything in for the 3 car caravan to St. George, Rick, Jake and girls went to the ocean, R was picked up by his sister who lives in the area to later be dropped at the airport, headed to St. George and arrived at the Philipps home, bought groceries for our stay
Sunday, June 16
slept in, church at 11:00, Father's day dinner of roast beef and the works, Happy 34th anniversary to Vonnie and Rick! (we'll be celebrating that event later), played games, relaxed, gave tributes to our fathers (so sweet), Rick headed for home in the Lexus, Jord drove Jake to Vegas to catch his flight
Monday, June 17
swimming at the neighborhood pool, Claire, Jord, Dave & Courtney to the St. George temple for a session while Mom and I tended the six little ones, tour of the St. George tabernacle (architect great-great-great grandfather Miles R.) and the Brigham Young summer home, splash pad, red rock water park fun, evening performance of Mary Poppins at Tuachan with all the girls while Dave tended the little boys
Tuesday, June 18
Cleaned up, packed up, headed for home, found all well there,
Wednesday, June 19-Friday June, 21 - worked at my job, worked at home, played with the grand kids, got ready for the Utah wedding reception, family enjoyed Trafalga, 7 Peaks water park, went to a class to learn how to thread and use my new serger so that we could make some knit maxie shirts before the moms and daughters left town, met with friends Paula, Pasty and Mary to make the centerpieces, corsages, boutineers, food table flowers, etc for the wedding. Picked up the Phillies truck and trailer to haul things.  Mom was a great help through all this busyness as well as so many of my close friends and ward members who came to my aid and gave so much time and talent toward the effort.  I owe them big time in so many ways and appreciate all the help they gave us.  You know who you are...thank you dear ones.
Saturday, June 22
Got going early, went to Pat and Vern's for breakfast with all the family, started stressing big time knowing all we had to do before the reception started at 6:00 pm, everyone pitched in, picked up the rental chairs, arch, and the tables, hauled the decorations to the Mt. Timpanogos park, set up everything, Carol, Madi and Taylor came at noon and help like hired help (which they weren't), went home and changed into our wedding clothes, Sydney took pictures, started on time!, enjoyed a lovely wedding reception at our outdoor setting in the mountains with perfect weather, temperature and setting.  We SO MUCH appreciate everyone who came.  Enjoyed the evening and then took everything down as it got dark.  There were a few bumps along the way (wink, wink) but all in all it was a wonderful two weeks.  Mom held up like a trooper and went home with Lee and Mike that evening and probably collapsed when she got home. All that work, expense and time was for this special couple who we love dearly.  Congratulations to the newly weds Andy and Chelsea!