Helping children gain a testimony

Rick and I were asked to give a 5th Sunday class to the RS and Priesthood adults in our home ward yesterday on the following topic "How to help your child gain and retain a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ." We felt reluctant to do it. We don't feel like experts by any means. We didn't want to come off as "all knowing" because we aren't. Yes, it's true that we have some great kids, but we give them the credit for being receptive and having good spirits that felt the truth when they heard it. We talked to some of our friends to get their ideas and we did some research on what is out there to help parents. We presented our findings and I thought I would share them here by posting a copy of our handout that contains some ideas from some good sources. I do think it is a critical topic and a discussion that every husband and wife should have. I do believe that helping our children build their own spirituality should be an active pursuit and one that deserves our very best efforts. Is there anything more important to our children and our families than to help our children build their own faith? Many people have great ideas of what they do or have done in their own families. Do you have any ideas to share?

Ideas of how to help children gain and retain a testimony

From A Proclamation to the World: Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives – mothers and fathers – will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

1. Show your personal testimony through your example, demonstrated by your habits, that you do believe.
· Go with children to perform their church responsibilities, take them with you to perform your responsibilities
· Let them see you do spiritual things to show your faith (such as going to the temple, watching conference, giving service, paying tithing. Etc)
· Importance of doing the basics – FHE, prayer, family scripture reading, personal scripture reading, attending the temple, rendering service.
2. Teach the gospel using Preach My Gospel lessons. They need to be converted just like anyone else. The PMG lessons are so well written and prepared. They are truly the 5th standard works.
3. Train your children to be adults and to be able to stand on their own spiritually when you aren't around – Our parenting motto: have a firm grip on loose reins
· Build to the point that they can be spiritually on their own and have a testimony of their own (line upon line, precept upon precept D&C 98:12)
· Step by step – start establishing these behaviors when they are young
· What the research says about personal spiritual behavior
"It appears that the key to deterring delinquency and immoral behavior among LDS youth is not merely getting the youth into the Church, but rather getting the Church (personal testimony) into the youth." (These articles contain helpful and insightful information on this topic. They are well worth the 20 minutes or so it will take to read them.)
RAISING RIGHTEOUS CHILDREN IN A WICKED WORLD By Brent L. Top and Bruce A. Chadwick
PROTECTING PURITY By Brent L. Top, Bruce A. Chadwick, and Matthew T. Evans,
4. Take your children to events and places where they can feel the spirit
Family activities and vacations can be faith-building activities, such as visiting temple square, going to church history sites, attending church pageants, doing baptisms for the dead, visiting temple grounds and temples in cities that you visit, and going to the visitor centers. Other ideas include attending family mission farewells and homecomings, visiting family grave sites and learning family history – helping children see that they are a link in the chain. Engage in faith-building activities and incorporate gospel messages into everyday life situations. Use the family dinner hour to discuss religious topics on occasion.
Establish a family tradition, motto or mission statement – “this is what we do - this is what we believe - this is what is important to us.”
5. Don’t hide your own belief. Find a way to tell them what you believe. Use ward testimony meetings, family testimony meetings, talks, lessons, FHE. Have one-on-one chats or interviews with each child. Don’t make it too formal. Find out how they are feeling, what they are doing, what their aspirations are. Help your children learn to identify the promptings of the spirit. When you feel the spirit, ask them what they are feeling. Help them learn to understand and seek out spiritual promptings.
5. We all have to keep up the behaviors listed above to keep our testimonies strong. We can't ever fall into complacency. Retaining a testimony should be a live-long endeavor and one where we put our very best efforts. This is what "enduring to the end" is all about.
6. Don’t EVER give up. If a child is struggling or isn't receptive, just love them unconditionally and never give up on them.

Proverbs 23:13 – train up a child in the way he should go…..
Ephesians 6:4 – fathers provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord
1 Nephi 1:1 - …having been born of goodly parents, therefore I was taught…..
1 Nephi 8:37 - ….all the feeling of a tender parent……
2 Nephi 25:26 - We talk of Christ……that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins.
Enos 1-3 - My father was a just man…for he taught me…and the words which I had often heard my father speak….sunk deep into my heart.
Alma 38:16 – …prepare the minds of children to hear the word (of the Lord)