This Mother's day I have been thinking a lot about my own dear mother. She is 89 years old and she isn't doing very well. Her worsening dementia is overtaking her mind and consequently her body. It is such an insidious disease that robs people of their true selves. She is having a hard time in many aspects of daily living. Her short term memory is pretty much gone. Her daily activities are down to watching old TV reruns and playing some card games. I don't think she is capable of much else. I called her today and our conversation lasted 3 minutes 22 seconds and much of the time I was doing the talking. She can't process information very well or focus on or contribute to conversations. She has really gone down hill in the last three years. She is very stubborn and independent and won't take much advice or direction from her kids. It is so hard to see her like this.
Today I reminisced about her younger days and the great mother she was to me. I looked through a photo album she gave to all her children that is her pictorial life history. The person she is today isn't her true self. She wants to return to live with my dad who has been gone for 33 years now. I don't blame her. She is tired and worn out and she is ready for the next chapter. She keeps saying "What else am I suppose to do?" Sometimes enduring to the end is the hardest time in life. I appreciate my three sisters who live in the area who watch over her, especially my sister Carol. My sister in ID and I visit as often as we can and together we try our best to see that she is okay. It never seems to be enough however. Some day she will be gone and I will mourn her loss. I hope she knows how much I love her and appreciate the wonderful mother she has been to me. I love you dear Mother.
In thinking of the times when she was at her best, I found these writings I did a few years ago:
Grandma Mary/Mom - she learned how to work hard as a young girl and she has worked hard her whole life, she is a caregiver and loves taking care of people, she has served others in the church and community and has worked to lift the burden of those in need, she has experienced great joy and happiness and she has known her share of heartbreak and trial - yet she perseveres through it all, she is joyful and fun to be around, she loves to get out and go and see and experience new things, she is easy to be with and it is always good to talk to her, she is wise and knows what to do, she gives good advice, she gives people the benefit of the doubt, I love that she got to spend last week with us so that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren could get to know her better, she loves her children and their families and her grandchildren and great-grandchildren, she is a strong link in the generational chain and I'm so proud of her and so happy to call her mother.
My mother is an amazing woman. She has lived 82 years to the fullest and she is still going strong, enjoying good health and energy. Here are some interesting tidbits about Mom:
- She was born in Providence, the oldest daughter and second oldest child. She grew up in Providence and she has come full circle, living there again during the summer months.
- She learned to work hard on their family ranch during the summers. Her parents had some money and she didn't want for much.
- She fell into a cistern filled with water and nearly drowned when she was small. Her dad fished her out and saved her life. She was sent back to finish her life on earth by her deceased relatives.
- Her mother was a gracious woman who taught her how to cook, clean, entertain and keep a home. We owe much to Grandma F. for her influence on her son & daughters
- She met our dad and married him three months later. Their match was made in heaven and it was meant to be.
- Her father LaVon died suddenly of a heart attack when Mom was a young married woman while he was out deer hunting. She said it was the greatest shock of her life.
- she and her husband left Utah and moved to Idaho to take a good paying job teaching school. They thought they would be back in a couple of years. She didn't return for 32 + years.
- Mom and Dad raised seven kids on a 40 acre farm in Idaho. She worked hard from sun up to pretty much sun down. She taught us how to do many things that have blessed our lives immensely. She is a great cook, a wonderful seamstress, a organized entertainer and a gifted homemaker in every sense of the word.
- We lost our dad to cancer when she was 56 years old. She mourned his loss for many years, but she wasn't one to sit around and mope forever. She got some training in medical assisting and went out and got a job. Once she found out she had to show up every day, it cramped her style too much and she gave it up. But she was trained and willing to work if the need arose.
- She met Darwin P. about eight years after our dad passed away. They were married on her 65th birthday and they lived in Logan during the summer and in Mesa Arizona during the winter months.
- She served in the church in many capacities. She was Relief Society president at least three times and taught the gospel in various classes. She has been a faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and she has a firm testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
- After Darwin died, she met a very nice man named David E. in Mesa. They were married and later served a mission to the London temple as temple workers. They enjoyed that opportunity and experience very much. They also took up playing tennis and they have had a great time competing with their friends. She is still going strong playing tennis!
- For her 80th birthday, we had a family party at Timp Lodge. All of her children were there and almost all of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren. It was a memorable time to be together celebrating Mom's wonderful life.
- Mom has had some hard trials to surmount and she has done it was determination and faith. She survived breast cancer and is an example to us all of one who doesn't complain and who moves ahead amid the challenges of life.
I pay tribute to my mother. She has been a wonderful example to me of how to live life and never give up. She has shown courage and guts and she is always positive and productive. I have always known that she loves me and she is generous with her praise and unconditional love. She had high expectations for all of us and she always encouraged us to do our best. Thank you Mom for setting such a good example for all of us. Mom, you are my hero and I love you very much.
