As I've mentioned before, I am surrounded by interesting research on family topics. Last night I went to
this interesting lecture, the Virginia Cutler annual lecture given by Professor Busby about LDS married couples and their habits and beliefs compared to other religious couples. The lecture was recorded and at some point I'll post the link. It was very thought provoking to learn more about the dating habits, length of courtship, commitment to marriage, marital age, sexual habits and overall happiness reported by over 40,000 married religious couples over the course of many years.
Also out this week is
a report about the link between the use of profanity and relational aggression. "Exposure to profanity is associated with acceptance and use of profanity, which in turn influence both physical and relational aggression." And further "“This research shows that profanity is not harmless,” said Bushman, a mass communications professor. “Children exposed to profanity in the media think that such language is ‘normal,’ which may reduce their inhibitions about using profanity themselves. And children who use profanity are more likely to aggress against others. These are very important findings for parents, teachers, and pediatricians.”
And lastly,
a report about materialism in marriage call "Can't Buy Me Love." It finds that the more money a couple has, the more likely that couple is to have marital problems. It measured how much various couples value having "lots of money" and "lots of things."
“Couples where both spouses are materialistic were worse off on nearly every measure we looked at,” said Jason Carroll, a BYU professor of family life and lead author of the study. “There is a pervasive pattern in the data of eroding communication, poor conflict resolution and low responsiveness to each other.”
“Sometimes people can deceive themselves about how important their relationships are to them,” Carroll said. “It’s helpful to step back and look at where you focus your time.”
I drew these conclusions:
- Observing religious codes and conduct helps a couple achieve more marital satisfaction and longevity than not observing any religious practices. Religion helps couples understand the bigger picture and helps them establish codes of conduct and it gives them something to strive for in maintaining their family unit. LDS couples who believe in the Temple Covenant are more likely to work towards achieving that goal and in the process their family life can be more meaningful.
- Watch, monitor and edit what language is being used on TV programs that you watch. It will affect your children and yourself in ways you may not even imagine.
- Don't make the pursuit of wealth a goal. Money isn't evil, it is what it often does to people that makes it a stumbling block. Be cautious in the desire for "things" and lots of money. Money and things do not define a person's worth. As a subtext, too much money often destroys the children of wealthy parents who don't learn to work and to be self sufficient. They often have a sense of entitlement and that makes it hard to establish their own self worth and their own achievements. Money could well be the root of all evil, but a certain amount of it is needed to live a happy life. Researchers figure that amount is about $75,000 a year for a family. "The lower a person's annual income falls below that benchmark, the unhappier he or she feels. But no matter how much more than $75,000 people make, they don't report any greater degree of happiness."
I just finished reading a biography of Madame Marie Curie, the scientist who was awarded two Nobel Prizes for her work in discovering radioactivity (a word she coined) and the elements of radium and polonium. She despised wealth and wealthy people. She avoided all the trappings of the display of wealth. She sought her riches in intellectual development and not in the acquisition and display of wealth. She and her husband Pierre freely shared their precious radium samples with other researchers who could benefit from their discoveries. They could have made millions by selling their knowledge and their discoveries, but they shunned that type of use of wealth. Their marriage was strong and they found their passion in working on joint research projects and in raising their two young girls. The Beatles got it right when they sang "Can't Buy Me Love." It was a very thought provoking book.
On Saturday Dave celebrates his 27th birthday! He has had himself quite a year. Since his last B-day here are a few of things he accomplished or enjoyed:
