Seasons of our lives

This is how I figure it:

Spring, ages 0-25

Summer, ages 25-50

Fall, ages 50-75

Winter, ages 75-100

(This is how it looks in Provo right now. Snow in the mountains and beautiful fall colors in the valleys. Winter, here we come.)

Rick and I were talking about this last night. We're in the fall season of our lives and it takes a little getting use to. Actually, as a person moves from one season to another, I think it takes a little getting use to. Sometimes people are looking ahead and wanting to get on with the next season before it's time and then there are times when they don't want to move on and they can't let go of the season they are in. Important things happen in each season, such as this possible scenario:

Spring - birth, rapid growth and learning, education and lots of it, personal discoveries, figuring things out, trial and error, serving a mission, more education and usually marriage.

Summer - starting a family, child rearing, continued self discovery, development and discovery of talents, starting a career, establishing a home, serving in lots of ways (a very busy time of life!)

Fall - seeing children get married and start families of their own, developing talents and interests, serving more, doing some of the things you never had time to do in the summer of life, enjoying good health, more money and travel, developing a stronger marital relationship, serving a mission as a couple, becoming a grandparent.

Winter - staying closer to home and accepting visits from family and friends, reading, reading, reading, serving, enjoying the simple things in life like good health and family and friends, becoming a great-grandparent, writing a life history and ending your life history with dignity.

I guess the trick is to enjoy the season you are in to the fullest. Sometimes it takes work, patience and determination to find joy in the journey through the seasons of life.

Before you become somebody

First, become somebody who can support herself.
Second, before becoming somebody’s wife, be careful about who that somebody is.
Third, before becoming somebody’s mother, become somebody capable of being a good mother.
Fourth, before becoming somebody’s wife or somebody’s mother, become somebody who can make her own life richer.
Fifth, before becoming somebody’s wife and somebody’s mother, become somebody who is spiritually strong.
Sixth, a message especially for young men: Become somebody who encourages young women to reach their full intellectual and spiritual potential.
Finally, become somebody who understands that being a woman is worth celebrating.

This talk was given 27 March 1990 at a Ricks College devotional held during Women’s Week by Marie Hafen. I think it should be REQUIRED reading of all young women, their leaders and their parents.
It's a topic of discussion that comes up regularly in our office. Do women really need an education or should they just plan to raise a family and be a wife and mother and not worry about getting some training or in pursuing a career? Seriously? Why is this still being discussed in 2010? Letters to the editor in the campus newspaper usually have a hot exchange on this topic at least once a month.
Do guys like smart women? Are they intimidated by smart women? Should they have to compete against them for grades and available jobs?
Shouldn't women prioritize their lives and put home and family first and then a career second? Should pursuing a career ever come first? Do women have to make a choice, but men don't?
Should women delay having children to get their own education or to work while their husbands are in school?
Should women stop their education when get married?
Who will pay for the student loans of women when they aren't working anymore and start having babies?
And on and on it goes...


Here is an except from one of the many talks given by President Hinckley:

“It is so important that you young men and you young women get all of the education that you can. The Lord has said very plainly that His people are to gain knowledge of countries and kingdoms and of things of the world through the process of education, even by study and by faith. Education is the key which will unlock the door of opportunity for you. It is worth sacrificing for. It is worth working at, and if you educate your mind and your hands, you will be able to make a great contribution to the society of which you are a part, and you will be able to reflect honorably on the Church of which you are a member. My dear young brothers and sisters, take advantage of every educational opportunity that you can possibly afford, and you fathers and mothers, encourage your sons and daughters to gain an education which will bless their lives” (meeting, Hermosillo, Mexico, 9 Mar. 1998).

Haven't we progressed enough in the last 20 years since Marie Hafen gave her talk that we now know that women need to be prepared in BOTH arenas with preparation for a career and preparation to start a family and build a home? It's BOTH. It's possible to do both with some planning, hard work, prioritizing, training and goal setting if a woman wants to or needs to. It's important to have options and a good education will provide those options. In this day and age, I'm a firm believer that we have to better prepare our daughters for their futures. It's heartbreaking to see women struggling through life, working minimum wage jobs because they have poor training or no training at all, often with children and sometimes with a husband in tow. Preparation for the unknown future seems to be the key to me. Prepare and then prepare some more. Get all the education you can. I'm not advocating that all women work. I'm just saying that they should be prepared with options to work fewer hours for more money with the proper education if they so choose.

From the article:
Young women should prepare for a career, but not because a career is more important than family life. A career isn’t even as important as family life. Although Church leaders have counseled mothers of young children to avoid working outside the home whenever possible, they have also urged young women to seek education and prepare for careers and meaningful involvement in society.

Career-oriented education matters for several reasons. For example, at any given time, from 35 to 40 percent of the adult women in the Church are single, whether widowed, divorced, or not having married. Only 3 percent of Latter-day Saint women never marry. (See Twila Van Leer, “Singleness Becoming More Common,” Church News, 6 November 1983, p. 4.) In addition, more than 90 percent of both married and single women must work sometime during their adult lives. An LDS woman is now likely to work more than twenty-five years, and six out of ten working LDS women are supporting not only themselves but others in their families.

What these statistics boil down to is that young women who believe they will always have a husband who will fully support them, thereby making it unnecessary for them to work outside the home, are living in a dream world. Husbands may die, or they may be disabled by accidents or illness. Children grow up, missionaries need financial support, and most mothers live healthy, vigorous lives for many years after their children leave home. Single-adult women cannot expect the Lord to rescue them from life’s natural adversity. The gospel has been given to heal our pain, not to prevent it. The Lord does give us strength to deal with a world that can sometimes be dreary, but often that help comes only as we do all we can do.

Before and After

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A blast from the past

I came across these fashion planning sheets while cleaning out a closet. They were taped to the inside of the door and have been there since the '98-'99 fashion season. Overalls? Docs? I wonder who they belong to???

As I have loved you

Is it fair to say that everyone has been hurt, betrayed, offended, rejected, belittled, forgotten, glossed over, ridiculed, marginalized, made fun of, attacked, put down, not valued, etc. etc. etc.

We’re human after all, right? All relationships have ups and downs. We hurt one another. Sometimes unintentionally, sometimes intentionally. We’re imperfect people and we generally fall into the imperfect people traps of making comparisons, being jealous, coveting, gossiping or criticizing trying to make ourselves feel better, bigger, cooler, smarter, more beautiful, richer, in better shape physically or in better shape spiritually.

We want to be validated and recognized for our strengths and to have our weakness overlooked. We want to stand out from a crowd for the good in us and have others overlook the bad in us. And yet, sometimes we often see only the bad in people, or their weird behaviors, or the less than perfect lives they lead. We don’t give what we except to get from other people.

Have you ever withheld affection? Have you ever not given a compliment or encouragement because you didn’t think the person deserved it? Have you ever hurt someone and then done nothing to make it better, thinking that they deserved what they got? Do you forgive those who trespass against you? How do you do it? Do you hold a grudge? Do you harbor resentment? How do you let go of the hurt and the pain?

As you age and get more experience, are you getting better at treating people with more kindness and respect and in forgiving their shortcomings? Do you see progress year to year in yourself? Do you really do unto others as you would have them do unto you?

Here are some other things I’ve been thinking about…

Forgiveness doesn’t always mean reconciliation.

Cruel words can leave wounds that no amount of apology can fully erase.

If you forgive, can you trust the person again?

If you forgive, can you ever truly forget?

What does forgiveness really mean?

Forgiveness has everything to do with me and very little to do with the offender.

If you let go of the hurt, is that enough?

Are there times when the damage can never be fully repaired?

Can your heart ever feel that same toward the person again?

How do you rebuild trust when it’s been shattered?

Does forgiveness have many levels? If so, is closure one of them?

Will an admission of guilt on the part of the other person heal the pain of a betrayal?

Will an apology change the relationship? Can it ever be what it once was?

Can you tell the difference between a sincere apology and a self-serving one?

What constitutes a proper apology?

Is it OK to steer clear of an offender? If you do, does that mean that you haven’t forgiven them?

Why do we sometimes hurt the ones we love the most?

Why is it so hard to truly love another, especially the ones who are hard to love?

Enjoying time with Mom and the sisters

Scrapbooking design created with Smilebox

Three weeks ago my Mom took me and my sisters (minus one who couldn't make it) on a memory trip to Mack's Inn, Yellowstone and Jackson Hole. We had such a fun time together for three days. When we were young, our parents took us on a yearly summer vacation to these locations for an entire week. We stayed at Mack's Inn in cabin #27 (which is now privately owned) for the entire time and went out on day trips to these other locations. We loved spending time together reminiscing and enjoying the beautiful fall scenery. Thanks Mom for taking us! It was so wonderful to spend time with my Mom and sisters. Great memories were created.

Two of my favorite things

#1. This handy little cleaning sponge (if that's what you call it.)
It does work like magic. I wonder how it works so well. It's a mystery to me, but I highly recommend it. It cleans like MAGIC.
#2. Rust-oleum spray paint. It DOES change everything. I spray painted over several shiny gold surfaces and it worked like MAGIC. Our gold fireplace cover - gone. Now it's a hammered brown color. Several shiny gold frames - gone. Our front porch rusted railing is now a beautiful dark brown. Our big letter "R" that was gold...gone. You get the idea.

What are the odds?

I won the centerpiece at the Enterprise Mentors International (EMI) dinner last Friday night. Again. Lucky, huh? Score!
It's made of real flowers and plants and it's beautiful. It's a great addition to my dining room table. My friends Colleen and Kathleen and I got to attend the annual Mentors International annual gala at the SLC Marriott. Once again, it was a wonderful evening. Inspiring. Uplifting. Motivational. AND, I got to go with two dear friends and enjoy their company. Plus I got to see some other friends there including Courtney's sister Jen and her husband Dave.
The entertainment wasn't bad either. See this article.



Wow, what a great young man. His mother has a beautiful voice and they were absolutely darling together. They both sang and danced and David sang a couple of numbers in Spanish. It was a night to remember. PLUS, I totally and completely endorse and support what Mentors International is all about. Their goals, their success and the difference they are making in the world with micro loans to those who are so desperately in need of a hand up out of poverty. I wish they were helping in Mongolia. Maybe someday. It's a cause I really believe in as mentioned here and here.

Christmas concert planning

It's that time of year again. It's two months away from the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas concert. And it's also time to request your free tickets. Here is the link to go online and send in a request. You've got until October 18 to get it done. I've sent in a request for the last several years and I've been shut out each year. Nada.
I'm wondering if it makes any difference if you live out of state on your chances of getting some tickets. Do any of you out-of-staters want to request tickets and then pass them along to us if you can't make it to Utah for the concert? It's a thought.
Anyway, this year the guest is this fine young man.


The concerts will be presented on Thursday, December 16, 2010, 8:00 p.m. (dress rehearsal) and Friday and Saturday, December 17–18, 2010, at 7:30 p.m. On Sunday, December 19, 2010, the choir’s weekly Music and the Spoken Word broadcast will also feature Archuleta with a mini-concert immediately following. All the concerts will be held in the Conference Center.

August 9 to October 4

8 weeks. That's how long it took to get our house remodel done. Considering all that was accomplished, that wasn't such a long time. Considering how hard it was to live (survive really) in the house while it was being done, it was a very long time. But the results are great. We've very happy with the way everything turned out. I'm actually excited to cook again. Frozen foods, fast foods and eating out gets old with time.
The remodel has consumed every waking moment of my time, energy, organizational skills and patience to get through the project. It's consumed all of Rick and Andy's patience as well. I've enjoyed it though. I've enjoyed working with the skilled workers and organizing the sequence of projects. I've enjoyed picking everything out. I've enjoyed taking every thing out of our house and then putting about half of it back. I've been working for the last two weeks just cleaning and getting everything put back in place. I'll admit that I'm putting a bunch of stuff in the office that I need to go through later when I have more time, but that will be my winter project. Downsize. Toss. Give away. Sell. It feels great.
Here's a sneak peak. More photos to come later. RIP Dave's bedroom.

I haven't been able to blog very much since we started this project, but I've got some good stuff to share. Stay tuned.

Never say never

I said we would never let a puppy in the house. I may have to reconsider that statement and allow this little puppy named Skippy to come and visit!

Enduring to the end