The lessons of adversity

Adversity is something I've been thinking about for awhile now.  It seems like everyone around me has some sort of challenge they are dealing with.  Physical.  Spiritual.  Emotional.  Mental.  Family.  Relationships.  Marriage.  Children.  Addiction.  Finances. Loneliness. On and on and on.
I came across this very helpful talk.  It is short, but the message is powerful.  Here are some of my favorite parts:

When facing a trial, many people have asked, “Why me?” Some have become bitter and angry. Others have recognized that their adversity is a teaching experience. Learning often becomes more acute and precise and has greater depth when brought about by adversity.

Many of the most important principles of intelligence cannot be taught at universities, from books, or through other temporal learning processes. Often these great principles are learned from afflictions, tribulations, and other mortal experiences. All that we learn in this manner will benefit us not only in this life but also in the next, for “whatever principle of intelligence we attain unto in this life, it will rise with us in the resurrection” (D&C 130:18).

This was a new concept to me.  The idea that our trials are actually learning experiences (I already knew that part) but the new concept was that these trials will benefit us not only in this life but also in the next.  What we gain "learning through adversity" will rise with us in the next life.  These experiences we are going through are not hap-hazard.  They are not accidental.  Most of them are not the "fault" of God or even given to us by Him.  I believe that most trials are the consequences of natural laws, the actions of other people who impact us and some are trials brought on by our own poor choices. The good news is that we can learn from them all.  We can rise above!  We can do better!  We can learn and grow even in the depths of adversity.  If everything went smoothly, we wouldn't be prone to ask God for help.  We would sail along happily on our way and fail to recognize our many blessings and the source of those blessing.  Adversity brings us to our knees, teaches us humility, and our own nothingness.  It helps us build our faith in Him who is mighty to save us from ourselves, our frailties, our mistakes, our shortcoming, our grief, our pain and our sins. 

So.  To all my loved ones who read this and who are facing adversity...know this.  There is a reason.  Your experiences are teaching you lessons that can be learned in no other way.  And the lessons you are learning will benefit you now and in the world to come.  Nothing is lost.  It is all for something, even if we can't see what that something is right now.  It requires faith, hope and charity and all we can do is work on those three to build our reserves to face the trials that come our way. 

“Be not afraid, only believe” (Mark 5:36).

Fast, Easy Bread, part II

My good friend Lindsey just made these great YouTube videos on how to make "fast, easy bread."  She did a demo in my home some years ago for my friends.  Here are those pictures.  This is seriously a great way to make bread, fast and easy and to also make pizza dough, cinnamon rolls and monkey bread.  Check out her other videos and order her kit today and get baking!  See fasteasybread.com for more information.  Way to go Lindsey!  I hope you continue to have much success with your home business!

Stadium of Fire

We enjoyed attending another great Stadium of Fire at the Freedom Festival in Provo on the 4th.  Our family loves the 4th of July!  We've had a long standing tradition of events that we follow every year and we look forward to sharing it together.  This year, our out-of-state kids couldn't make it and we reluctantly forged on without them.  My sister Carol and her family have come and shared the day with us for over 20 years and this year Carol came with a new husband in tow!  It was so fun to be with them and to attend Stadium of Fire together.  Carrie Underwood was awesome!  Seriously, her voice is so good. We loved the sky divers, the acrobats and of course the huge fireworks show at the end.  Studio C - not so much.  We know how to get in and get out of the stadium through the HUGE throngs of people that attend.  Not knowing where to park would be a huge detriment, but we have a great parking place and a great system of travel. There were 14 of us attending this year and we had great seats.  We loved taking McKynlee and DaeLynn with us this year.  Unfortunately, Lucy got sick and Dustin wasn't able to attend.  Next year Dustin!

Here are two of Carrie's new songs that I loved.  At least they were new to me.

Credits to the Daily Herald Newspaper and photographer.

America the Beautiful!

Rafe enjoying the parade with his patriotic mustache

We were to happy that Dustin, DaeLynn, McKynlee
and Lucy could come to town this year.
  Dust ran the 10k with Adam, Rick and Andy first and
 then we settled down to watch the parade in a great spot in the shade.

Cutie pies

The Smith group.  So happy they could be with us!

Andy, Chelsea and Rom.
 Why Romney needed binoculars at the parade, I don't know.  Hum...

The only shot I got of me and
 Rick...too bad about his eyes being closed :(

Pat, Romney, Bob.
 After attending the parade for so many years,
we know how to save a place, get in and get out without a lot of waiting.
  It's a fine art we've developed over years of practice. 

My friend Cydnee C.  I've been her mentor and friend
 for three years and wanted her to participate with us in a fun family day.

Aslett crew with A and C

Chowing down and having a good visit

We missed Vern this year :( :( :(

Great food, great fun, great family! Adam is the man.

Love these two! Dustin and DaeLynn

Sydney just weeks from her due date!  She is such a good sport.

Miles cooking up some good eating.
 Food, swimming, games, napping and lots of visiting!

Robert and Carol were our special guests of honor
 (sorry this isn't the best shot of him, but it was the only one I had)

Another great 4th of July has come and gone.  We love the Freedom Festival in Provo and try and take advantage of as many of the activities as we can the week leading up to the 4th.  This year we got to hear Laura Bush speak at the Patriotic Service, attend the Utah Symphony patriotic concert at Thanksgiving point (with GREAT fireworks at the end) and walk around the colonial village and food truck round-up in Provo.  I love celebrating our great country...land that I love with people that I love.

What a class act.  She gave such an interesting and uplifting speech.

Mrs. Bush with our Governor and his wife.

Food truck round up in Provo.  Amazing!

Utah Symphony at the Waterfall at Thanksgiving Point.  Great!

New baby girl Margaret

The happy family - Dave, Courtney, Charlie and Margaret

Making cookies with my buddy Charlie

Enjoying their community pool, practically right out their back door

Cooling off on a hot, humid summer day

Ummmm....

Meeting sweet Margaret

Charlie meeting his new baby sister

We got him a Mickey stuffy and he brought a Minnie for Margaret

So sweet, she is such a good baby

I loved spending a week with this great family

Our 8th grandchild.  I'm so happy!!

I really enjoyed my visit to North Carolina for seven days. It is such a beautiful state.  I can see why Dave and Courtney love it so much because it is a great place to live.  Margaret Veneta was due on the 18th of June and she made her arrival on the 22.  This gave Courtney and me time to visit Hobby Lobby and do some 4th of July shopping.  We all went to dinner and enjoyed some southern BBQ, swimming and some walks around the area.  After her birth, I got to tend Charlie for two days while Dave and Courtney were in the hospital. We went to church together and he sat on my lap the entire time during sacrament meeting (which his parents were surprised to hear.)  We had a lot of fun playing with his Thomas train sets, putting puzzles together, making cookies and shopping around.  He was just a little bit obsessed with my iPad and the games of Elmo and Thomas the Train that were on it.  He is my great little friend and I loved getting to know him better.  He is such a smart, fun, darling personality little guy. We went to the hospital and visited baby sister and it was so cute to see him meet her.  Once the new baby and her parents came home from the hospital, we helped cook, clean, iron, grocery shop, make freezer meals, wash windows and get everything ship shape (which is was already.)  It was a lovely week and I'm so glad I got to share it with our dear son and his little family. 

2 years ago today

So, two years ago today, I was driving to work when I got "the call."  I was instructed to go to Dr. Taylor's office and get the results of my breast biopsy.  Now. When the office didn't just give me the results over the phone, I knew I was in trouble.  Big. Trouble.  

And I was right, my life changed that day and it has never been the same since.  Facing a potentially fatal disease changes you.  It takes away whatever plan you were living and replaces that plan with different plans, uncertain plans, unwanted plans, scary plans, hard plans.  And it takes everyone who loves you along for the ride.  It takes time to adjust and rethink and to finally submit to a new reality.

Submission.  That is a loaded word, isn't it?  I had previously associated submission with the concept of giving up, of giving in, or raising a white flag and saying "stop, I want to get off." 

I use to think that Submission = Quitting. 

Now I look at it differently.  Submission to me now is an act of faith and courage and a belief that "not my will be done, but Thine."  It's a realization that the control I thought I had over my life was very fragile and fleeting.  Submission to me now is having faith instead of fear, hope instead of anxiety, courage instead of worry.  A cancer patient submits to surgery...to chemotherapy...to radiation...and through the process ends us with a different body, mind and attitude.  It's a refining process.  It's not a process I would have signed up for, but one that came my way nonetheless. The cancer patient gets to choose if their anger, fear and frustrations will overpower their desire to hope.  And hope. And hope.  After all, there is always H*O*P*E.

Still ... it is hard to let that worry go. Worry, anxiety and fear. I’ve spent a lot of time with these three feelings over the last two years. What if...  I’m also learning a lot about courage.  Courage is going on in spite of the dark and scary unknown. I’ve wrestled a lot with the concept. Every day each of us step into the void. There is no road map. We don’t know what is going to happen next. I felt that if I just knew what was going to happen, I could handle it, but life doesn’t work that way. Letting go of the anxiety and illusion of control is the only way to make room for courage and hope and to be able to press forward.

As I've mentioned before, I always felt that I would survive this cancer.  And so far, I have.  I have had blood tests, mammograms and other measurements/tests every three months this past year.  Everything looks fine.  That is such wonderful news and a sweet treat to me and all those who love me.

Now my hopes and prayers are directed towards two men in our family who have their own struggles with the unknown results of brain cancer.  I hope they (and all those who love them) find the courage and strength to dwell on the "knowns" in life and not the "unknowns."  Reviewing the "knowns" and actually writing them down and contemplating about them can bring great comfort.  I know I have a Heavenly Father who loves me.  He was a plan for my life.  I know I have a family who loves me.  They support me through everything that comes along.  I know I live in a great land with freedoms and opportunities that are endless. And on and on it goes.  After all, that is what we want most in this life, right?  Comfort and peace to know that we aren't alone and that someday all the things that don't make sense will make perfect sense.  Someday.

My man is 59

 

My tribute to my dear husband this year for his 59th birthday (June 24), is to give him a shout out for his exceptional fathering skills and to thank him again for the huge impact he had/has on the lives of our four children.  

My sweet husband is a kid in a man's body.  Because of this fact, he was and is a great father/grandfather.  Our kids were so fortunate that they grew up with a dad who loved to play with them, take them on adventures, spend time with them and just have a good time.  It was a very rare exception for him not to attend every one of their tee-ball, soccer, soft-ball, baseball, football, basketball, cross country, track, tennis events or music recitals, church events or honor nights.  If they were performing, he was in attendance.  His support knew no bounds, even with his very demanding time schedule.

Our daughter Claire wrote this list of games the kids played with their dad a number of years ago and gave the list to him.  The games bring back so many good memories of a dad who really loved his children and who loved to horse around with them.  Oh, and don't forget about watching Pee Wees playhouse every Saturday morning (I personally hated that show) with their dad, going to the Snack Shack behind our house with a quarter for a treat and of course going on "adventures" almost every Saturday afternoon to the BYU campus to tour around the buildings, run at the track, spend a quarter at the candy jar candy counter and get their dose of indoctrination for the week.  They also attended dozens of BYU athletic events over the years with their dad.  Most Saturdays consisted of doing chores in the morning as a family and then dad taking off with the kids for an activity while mom had some much needed time to get other things done.

My dad is a fun and funny guy, and used to like to play a lot of different games with us
when we were kids. A sampling:
Guess The Person - one person would think: of anyone on the planet: dead or alive, real or
fake, and everyone else had an unlimited number of questions to figure out who they
were thinking of. Sort of a variation on 20 questions but without a limit.
Get a Quarter - if you were the first to see Bear Lake, or to count 100 cars on a train, or
see the Pacific Ocean, your reward was one shiny Washington
Barber Chair - stand in front of someone who is sitting on a chair with their legs bent in
the air. Place your bottom on their feet. Wait for them to kick and send you flying
through the air.
Direction Choice - everyone would pile in the car and each kid would get two or three
turns to decide at each intersection: go right, left, or straight. We woud up at some pretty
interesting places around town.
Music Appreciation - Sunday nights at our old house, we would pile around the big stereo
containing one of the first-ever CD players, and listen to a selection of my parents'
favorite music, from classical to Weird AI, Journey, Chicago and Stix to Phantom of the
Opera and Whitney Houston
Count the Chins - during Conference, count the number of double, triple, and quadruple
chins present in the choir. I still can't watch them without doing this.
What religion?- admittedly a horribly judgmental game. While driving on the freeway,
look at the cars next to us and decide if it was likely they were of our same religion or
not. Obviously some of the smokers and long-haired people were, but this didn't stop us
from guessing.
Kickball - play a game of kickball in the front yard (measuring approximately 15 by 40
feet) of the old house for hours on end
Ride the Bumper -jump on the back bumper of the Silver Bullet that my dad used to
drive to work, and ride on the back of the car as he drove up the driveway upon arriving
home. Sometimes he would even back up into the neighbor's driveway and drive up ours
a second time.
Story Time - at bedtime, we heard stories of made-up individuals who lived adventurous
lives. We also heard about all the mischievous behavior that my dad and his siblings
displayed in their youth, including bringing a dog into church in a little basket and having
it start barking during sac meeting, throwing a dummy and a couch off one of the tallest
buildings on campus, egging the neighbors' party, and various other acts that would get a
person arrested now.
State Honk- every time you pass into a new state and go by the big sign announcing
such, honk your car horn seven times in the same pattern. If I'm driving with a nonfamily
member and they don't do this, I always get a bit sad.
Nose Alphabet- plug your nose and attempt to say the entire alphabet without any of the
letters coming out all nasally sounding. M and N are almost impossible to get past.
Knock on the Door - have a little kid close their eyes and mouth. Say this while doing
each step: Knock on the door (forehead), peek in (open their eyes), turn the knob (nose),
walk in (mouth). A favorite of very small kids.
One Guess - think of a person, any person, dead or alive, real or fake. Everyone else has
exactly one guess to divine who you're thinking o£ It may sound like a horrible game, but
can actually provide lots of entertainment, especially when someone actually guesses the
person in just ONE GUESS!