My childhood, growing up on a farm in Idaho in
a large family was ideal, although I didn’t know it at the time. Fresh air, lots of space to run and play, ready-made
playmates, lots of work to be done, animals to care for, and loving parents who
oversaw it all made for a happy childhood.
I lived in that small community for my first eighteen years, and I
thought that most families were like mine with two parents who loved their
children, plenty of work to do, plenty of fun to have, and with high parental expectations
for a successful future. When I
graduated from high school, I left Idaho thinking that there was a formula for
achieving success and if that formula were followed, happiness could be
achieved in family life and in life in general.
I realized that ideally, everyone should have a place to call home where
other caring people take you in.
I still believe in that formula for success
in life. The basics of working hard,
playing hard and setting and achieving goals and loving the people in the
family group can lead to success. What I
didn’t consider and understand were all the variables. I didn’t even know much about those variables
when I was a naive farm girl. They just
were not in my pallet of experiences.
Such things as mental illness, divorce, addictions, abuse, loss of
employment, few educational opportunities, discrimination and other challenges,
compounded by poor choices, can lead to dysfunction in the family and very
often, major challenges for the children who
come from those families. I came
to understand that when a family doesn’t function well, a child often doesn’t function
very well. When the family, the basic
unit of society, fails, the children in that family can struggle and fail also
through no fault of their own. When this
cycle is set into motion, it is very difficult for the succeeding generations
to break away from it.
In my early twenties, I spent a year and a
half in Argentina living among the people there. That experience opened by eyes and enlarged
my experiences to see the world in a more expansive way. We routinely met with families who struggled
to provide the essentials of life. I saw
abuse, addiction and the consequences of poor choices compounded by few
opportunities or little desire to improve the situation. Some children were left to fend for
themselves at an early age. Some had a
little parental support, but it was usually from a single mother who was
struggling to provide the basic necessities for the family and who simply
didn’t have the time or energy to be concerned with things like education and future
opportunities. I learned to speak
Spanish and learned that the Spanish word for home was “casa.” Most families took great pride in their “casas”
and kept them tidy and neat. Even if
they had dirt floors, they would sweep the dirt and share the best they had
with us, their guests. The word “casa”
to me became synonymous with love, care, concern and help. If love existed between the parents and the
children, it could be felt, and the children were usually well cared for in
these humble homes, even though the essentials were very minimal.
I became a C.A.S.A volunteer because I understand
that everyone needs a home or a “casa.”
Those who have a place to come home, a place where there are loving
relationships, no matter how humble the circumstances, can receive the
emotional and mental support that they need to be successful in life. When that is not possible, then other caring
people can step in to assist the children if they are aware of the need.
I have observed the different ways people
live their lives. I have came to better understand the concepts of
choices and consequences those choices bring and to better realize that
sometimes it is necessary and helpful for other people to step in and assist
when the family isn’t working well. This
is true especially if there are other variables to be considered like mental
illness or addictions. My compassion has
grown as I have realized that often children in these situations just need
someone they can turn to for love and support and a safe place to call home. I decided to be one of those people who could come
to the aid of children who need help when their own families are unable to
provide this assistance.
After living in Argentina, I got married and
started my own family. My husband and I
have four children. Now three of those
four children have married and have started families of their own. We have five grandchildren who are starting
the journey through life. Since most of our children and grandchildren live out
of state and aren’t close by for me to attend to, I have a desire to share my
time and attention with a child who might need someone to be a positive influence
in his or her life. This is why I
volunteered. I feel that everyone needs
a chance and a good casa or a C.A.S.A (Court Appointed Special Advocate) can provide the needed support if his or
her parents are unable to provide the kind of support that they need.
I’ve
been given a sixteen year old young lady to serve as a C.A.S.A. volunteer. I get to be an advocate for her needs and
some of her wants. She has been through
more trials and challenges in her sixteen years than I will experience in my
whole life. She has much to teach me and
hopefully I can offer her a few things as well.
But mostly I just want to offer her a relationship where she can be safe,
be loved, be valued and to share if she wants to share. By being dependable, nonjudgmental,
supportive and interested, I hope that I can make a difference in her
life. Everyone should have a casa and if
they don’t, then they should have a C.A.S.A! Maybe you've been the billboards on the freeway that are advertising for more C.A.S.A. volunteers. If you have interest and time, check out this website to learn more.http://www.utcourts.gov/specproj/casa/faq.asp
