Moving forward with faith

It was two years ago today that we got the call in the middle of the night from Jordan telling us that Jacob was in the hospital and that he had something in his brain.  The panic in her voice and the emotional response of receiving the news is still fresh in my mind.  Our lives all changed in that instant.  The ups and downs of the last two years have literally been a roller coaster ride for their little family and for all of us who love them.

I'm not going to lie...this next couple of weeks are going to be hard.  I'm leaving tomorrow to go to AZ to help out Jordan, Jake and their little ones along with Jake's parents.
Jake is headed back into surgery to assess what is going on with his brain tumor and to take measures to make things better if possible. The last MRI was inconclusive, but something is going on near the tumor site.
My heart is heavy for them.  It's hard to watch them suffer and struggle through this ultimate trial. I have my moments of melt downs and then I have to get back up and forge ahead.  That is what they do.  None of us can live in crisis mode for long.  We need to and even want to return to hope, courage, determination, perseverance and moving forward.
I marvel at their courage.  I really do.  Jake keeps doing whatever he can to stay with us.  He is strict with his diet, his wearing of the Optune head device, taking his oral chemo pills and Avastin infusions.  He is doing all he can by undergoing these treatments and procedures that will hopefully lengthen his days.  But all these procedures and drugs are wearing him down.
Jordan keeps getting up in the mornings and putting one foot in front of the other. All this stress and worry is wearing her down.  Together they care for their children and try and live in the moment, enjoying all the time they have together now.  That is a very hard thing to do.  They strive to live in the here and now and not let the future that is unknown and scary take over their present happiness. Somehow this is what they are doing. Some days they are more successful at this goal than over days. But they continue to show faith in Heavenly Father and his plan for them and their family.
The only peace that comes through such times as this is through the Savior.  His atonement has real daily meaning and application.


See Jordan's blog HERE to read her testimony and her love for Jacob.

This talk by Elder Neil L. Anderson gave me great insights about trail of our faith.

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto you.  Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

"Like the intense fire that transforms iron into steel, as we remain faithful during the fiery trial of our faith, we are spiritually refined and strengthened."

Elder D. Tood Christofferson explained what he learned from a personal trial: "Though I suffered then, as I look back now, I am grateful that there was not a quick solution to my problem.  The fact that I was forced to turn to God for help almost daily over an extended period of years taught me truly how to pray and get answers to prayer and taught me a very practical way to have faith in God. I came to know my Savior and my Heavenly Father in a way and to a degree that might not have happened otherwise or that might have taken me much longer to achieve....I learned to trust in the Lord with all my heart.  I learned to walk with Him day by day."

I see this very process happening in the lives of my darling daughter Jordan and her Jacob.  The intense fire of this experience is spiritually refining and strengthening them.  They didn't ask for such a hard experience, they didn't deserve such a hard challenge, but they are facing it and letting the experience strengthen them.  I'm so proud of them for choosing faith and hope.

California dreaming

Life goes on with its ups and downs.
This last week was an up week as Rick and I had the chance to travel to California to spend some time with Andy and Chelsea.  They are doing so well and are loving their lives in LA.
We experienced some firsts for us.  To start out, we took Uber from the airport to their apartment while they were working last Thursday and learned the wonder of this means of transportation.

We attended the beautiful LA temple

and soaked up some lovely weather.

We visited Andy at his office in the UCLA medical center

 and we visited Chelsea in her grad office at UCLA.  

We went to a Korean BBQ with some of their friends
and had a fun evening eating tons of food.

The next day, Rick and I visited the
 Hammer museum
(this was Rick's favorite part of the museum)

Learned more about Armand Hammer
and his impressive art collection

Saw three more Van Goghs

And a Monet and many others 

Saturday morning we hiked to Baldwim Hills Scenic overlook of the city of LA

watched Andy play church ball

Went to Venice beach and took a bike ride

to Santa Monica pier

in perfect weather for biking

enjoying the beach all along the shoreline.

Andy and Chelsea put on their wet suits and got ready
for a dip in the ocean with boggie boards and
 surf boards

on a breath taking time of day...dusk.  We watched the sun go down

Rick went swimming sans a wet suit...cold!

My favorite picture with the seagulls flying overhead, a sail boat, a jet stream,
  the waves crashing on the rocks, a stunning sun set, with our intrepid surfers to the left

Brave souls

Sunday, after church we drove around to see the LA county museum of art with the famous light poles

We drove through Bel Air and Hollywood 

and saw the Chinese Threatre with lots of
movie goers attending Star Wars.

Monday we said goodbye to Andy and Chelsea and Rick left to go home.
Andy drove me to visit my friend Marcy and her husband
Bruce and see their new beautiful home.

Gorgeous!

What a view!

Beautiful home!

Great friends!

My sweet Marcy girl, friends for 43 years since
our freshman years in college at BYU.

It was a great tip, full of adventures.  We appreciated our hosts and loved spending time with them.  We will return!  Until next time.

Goals for 2016

I have to set goals.  They keep me going, motivated and thinking about worthwhile things to do. Maybe goals are so important to me because we learned how to set and achieve goals in the mission field.  Maybe it is because I worked with Young Women for so many years and goal setting was a major part of what we did.  Whatever it is, I'm a happier person if I have some goals in mind.

I know I set some very ambitious goals last year, but that was by design.  I knew I would be retiring from work and I knew I needed to figure out some ways to stay involved in things I enjoy and that I feel make a difference.  I know myself pretty well and I know that I'm happiest when I'm serving others.  Period. For me, a lot of sitting around doing mindless things is a recipe for disaster. Depression can easily set in and by keeping busy with things I enjoy, I can avoid that condition.

Anyway, I achieved most of my goals last year.  This year, I want to finish up the ones I didn't finish and move on to some new ones.  I put them here for my own use and motivation.  I may be the only one who tracks how I am doing, but putting them down here makes me feel more accountable to myself.
So...with that in mind:

Goals for 2016
1.  Finish sewing something for Lauren, Ellie and Margaret.
2.  Attend a sewing class and learn some new techniques.
3.  Start writing my personal history
4.  Lose 16 pounds in '16 (I'm not giving up!)
5.  Sew many of my Christmas presents for 2016
6.  Do some sort of exercise five days a week
7.  Work on improving a Christ like attribute each month
8.  Read the Old Testament, study the Book of Mormon
9.  Visit with or do something for people who have struggles
10.  Read 16 books

Of course I'll keep dejunking my house
Serving on the UVU WSC board
Serving at the MTC
helping my mother
doing things with people I care about
attending the temple
traveling
reading the Ensign
working on our photo albums
gardening
and best of all...spending time with my husband, children and grandchildren

But, I've discovered I have to have my own stuff apart from anyone else.  Having my own life and my own interests, hobbies and service opportunities takes a concerted effort on my part.  It should be an easy thing to do, but for me it isn't.  It feels so self-absorbed.  Retirement is great, but it is work to be happily retired.  I do love being my own boss and coming and going as I please.  I love being available and able to do things with little notice.  I love the spontaneity and ability I have to set up my own day, week and year.  I have to have some sort of human interaction and dialogue every day, but it is up to me to see that that happens.  I have so many blessings and opportunities and I want to take full advantage of all that I have at this point in my life.  Life is good, but it's up to me to keep it going that way.  There are sad things going on, hard things in our family and extended family that make me sad and heartbroken.  Dwelling on the hard and difficult parts of life isn't healthy.  Worrying about those I love and what they are going through can be overwhelming.  I can't help others if I'm not in good shape physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally and financially.  "Put your own life support on first, then help others" they say. It's what I am trying to do.

Blender pancakes

My sister Janet shared this recipe with me years ago.  It is still one of my favorite Saturday morning breakfasts.  It whips up fast and it is so good and is so much better than any mix.  It's also a good way to use your food storage whole wheat and include some whole grains in your diet. Give it a try!

Whole Wheat blender pancakes:
In a blender put
1 cup whole wheat
1 cup milk
Blend for a few minutes
add
1/2 c. oil
2 eggs
1/2 t. salt
1 t. baking powder
Blend all ingredients until smooth, cook on a hot griddle.  Enjoy!

A very happy start to the New Year

On New Year's eve I was looking through Facebook when I noticed a new private message.  I was thrilled beyond words to find out that one of my last missionary converts in Argentina had contacted me!  His name is Gustavo and on the weekend before I left the country to finish my mission, he and his best friend Roque were baptized.  My companion Hermana Stoddard and I taught them the missionary lessons together.  That was over 38 years ago and I haven't heard anything about them...until this New Year's eve.  A message from Gustavo said "I always remember you, always." Oh man, that made my heart about jump through the roof.

Hermana Stoddard, Roque and Gustavo, December 1977

Gustavo and Roque

Gustavo

I can't even explain how happy it made me to know that these two young boys (they were about 15 years old at the time) had gone on to serve missions and that Roque was currently serving as a Bishop in the ward in Santa Fe and that his daughter is currently serving a mission in Peru.  Joy!  Gustavo is currently living in Wales (trying to learn English and find work) and Roque is still in Argentina.  We chatted over instant messenger and shared a lot of catch up information.  Honestly, at the time you serve a mission, you never know if your efforts will change lives and if the people you find to teach and share the gospel with, will continue on actively participating in the church.  It makes me so very happy to know that these two good boys, who are now men, are doing well.  I suspect that Gustavo is currently less active from some of the news he shared, but I'm hopeful he will return to full activity.   The gospel of Jesus Christ changes lives and gives them purpose and meaning.  I'm so delighted to reconnect with two of my favorite converts, through.....Facebook!  Yeah!!  Now I'm in contact with four of my converts and it brings me such joy to still be a part of their lives.

Final 2015 goal report

1.  COMPLETED. Attend all 15 temples in Utah and attend the temple twice a month.  What happens in temples?  Pictures of inside the Temple?
January - 1. Salt Lake City with Stephanie as she received her endowment and Phoenix temple, February - 2. Monticello temple 3. Provo temple March - 4. Jordan River temple and 5. Bountiful temple, April - 6. Mt. Timpanogos temple and 7. Draper temple,  May - 8. Oquirrah Mountain temple and Mt. Timpanogos temple,  June - Salt Lake City temple July - 9. Brigham City temple August - 10. St. George temple and 11. Manti temple September - Nauvoo temple, Los Angeles temple, October - 12. Logan temple and 13. Payson temple, November - 14. Vernal temple and Salt Lake city temple December - 15. Ogden temple
I LOVED COMPLETING THIS GOAL! Each temple was so different and varied that it would be hard to say which ones were our favorites.  They are all so beautiful and we enjoyed doing temple work in each of them.

Payson

Vernal

Ogden

Salt Lake City at Christmas time

2.  MOSTLY COMPLETED - read the Ensign every month.  This goal was harder to complete than I expected.  Just taking TIME to do it was the challenge.
      January - check
      February - check
      March - check
      April - check
      May - check
      June - check
      July - check
      August - half way
      September - half way
      October - check
     November - didn't complete
     December - didn't complete

3.  COMPLETED - dejunk, clean and organize my home - this will be an ongoing project to keep getting rid of stuff and downsizing
In June I got busy and cleaned by garage and my home.  I washed windows, organized by garage and deep cleaned the rest of my home.  I hired Audrey to come and help me and we made a lot of progress.  I still have more work to do in the office, but that will be a good fall project.

In November, I tackled the catch all room - the office - and got rid of a bunch of stuff and organized the rest.  These are the before pictures.

These are the after ones:

4.  COMPLETED FOR THIS YEAR - ONGOING - update all my photo albums, label and date them
While in St. George for a week, I started this process by organizing all the loose photos and starting putting them back in the albums where they belong

5.  NOT COMPLETED - start writing my personal history, will work on this in 2016

6.  MOSTLY COMPLETED sew something for each grandchild
     made Lizzie an apron
     made Will a Superman cape
     made Charlie a Captain America cape
     made Lizzie a dress for Kindergarten
     made Ada a dress for Kindergarten
     made a "Thomas the train" book and pillowcase for Tommy boy on his 2nd birthday

I still want to make something for Ellie, Lauren and Margaret

7.  EPIC FAIL - NEXT YEAR! sew my Christmas presents

8.  COMPLETED - spend more time in my yard gardening, etc.
In May, Rick and I worked in our yard to get things cleaned up.  We hired his brother to remove some Aspen trees that were taking over the place and we planted flowers in our flower beds and we even planted a salsa garden in our neighbors yard.  It is a work in progress, but we have made great strides.  I love working outdoors!

9.  MOSTLY COMPLETED - walk 10,000 steps 5 days a week (thanks to my new FitBit this will be measurable!)
    January -  I'm averaging about 6,000 steps over five days a week, thanks to my FitBit for keeping track.   February - I need to kick that up once I can get outside more.  Not doing as well as I would like to.  March - my FitBit stopped working, but I'm doing my routine and hopefully hitting my goal.  April - August:  I'm still making progress and walking as much as I can. Making good progress through September when I lost my FitBit in Nauvoo :(  Got a new one in late October and got going again tracking my progress even though I was walking without it.  Walking with friend Mary in the mornings is wonderful and I'm back to a good routine.  I probably averaged between 5,000-6,000 steps.  I need to get going more and keep up this trend.  I do enjoy walking.

10.  EPIC FAIL - Lose 15 pounds
     Lost the two I put on plus one more.  Moving in the right direction now. Slowly. March - slow progress, 1 pound lost, April - August - lost four more pounds, September and October brought back the weight...darn.  Traveling and trying to lose weight is not a good combination.  I took off and put back on the same 5-6 pounds the whole year.  I need a new strategy!

11.  COMPLETED - Read 15 books
       Orphan Train
       Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet
       Mary, the Mother of Jesus
       Letters of a Woman Homesteader
       Not Fade Away
       Mountains Beyond Mountains
       the life-changing magic of tidying up
       My Antonia
      Joseph Smith, Rough Stone Rolling
      Shepherds Why This Jubilee?
      Marjorie Cannon Pingree life story
      Serafina and the Black Cloak
      I read about 30 children's Christmas books myself and to the grandkids
      The Book of Mormon - I finished at 10:00 pm on New Year's eve.  My favorite book of the year!

12.  COMPLETED, BUT NEVER FINISHED - support and love my mother more in her advancing years
       January - visited Mom at her home and took her to the Hardware Ranch, a place she use to visit as a child,  February - called her several times a week, March - visited for the weekend, helped her set up her patio, went on some drives, helped her with her meds, etc. she attended my 60th birthday party May - visited and helped out over a weekend, June - she attended our birthday party and family reunion, July - visited her and stayed overnight, August - visited and stayed over two nights, September - talked on the phone twice a week, October - visited and cleaned her house, drove her to the dry farm where she lived summers as a child, November - attended Mom's 89th birthday party and spent two days with her, returned two weeks later with most of our crew and stay with her again, she hosted us all for a pizza dinner, enjoyed spending time with her at my sister's home, went to her home for Christmas.  Enjoyed Christmas eve at Carol's home, dinner with most of the siblings at G&N's home and Christmas day with mom in her home.  Her memory is bad, but her heart is good.  I love my dear mother!

13.  COMPLETED BY NEVER FINISHED - strengthen the relationships with people I care about
January - went to breakfast with Kathleen, attended a concert with Shelley, Kevin, Marie and Cydnee, went to dinner at the Dixon's home, babysat for Adam and Syd so they could have a break, invited Cydnee over for a sleepover, visited Jordan and Jake and family, attended Kate's welcome home, went to the airport to welcome her, went to lunch with LaRita, February - attended a benefit dinner with the Lindleys, visited Claire and R and family, visited Sarah F., had the Densley's over for dinner, attended a bridal shower for Brooke, threw a birthday luncheon for Kathleen, attended and helped at Brooke's wedding reception, March - went to Sofia's thesis defense, enjoyed my mom, sisters and nieces at my 60th birthday party, met Mary R. for lunch, helped Dara with her finances and went to help her find a new place to live, had the Juan P.s over for dinner, went to lunch with Tiffany and Diane, went to dinner with Scott H. and Lori, spent time together getting a pedicure with my aunt Lorna and cousin Diane April - breakfast with my mission companion and one of our converts from Argentina and her daughter.  What a sweet reunion!
Hosted Chelsea's family who came to town for their graduation, celebrated Audrey's graduation by going to lunch, went to AZ to help out the R family after Jake had surgery May visited Dave and Courtney and children in North Carolina for a week, hosted two lunches for the professors who helped A & C at BYU, took care of my friend Sue who had a stroke in my home for a week, June helped Dara with her finances, celebrated our 36th wedding anniversary with Rick, attended Jake's homecoming, went to Rupert for a visit with the Smiths and attended Robert's funeral, went to Yellowstone with Claire and her family, celebrated our 60th birthdays with a party hosted by our kids July hosted 75 people for the 4th of July BBQ, enjoyed a family reunion with our children and grandchildren, enjoyed the visits of our children and their families for most of the month, went to Bear Lake with Rick and his family, August - attended darling niece Taylor's wedding to Brian in the Logan temple, hosted my sisters Ann and Carol and brother Paul for a few days for Education week, hosted Chelsea's grandparents when they came to town to move A & C, hosted Ann and Carol again for the tampon trial, September - started serving as a tutor at the MTC, attended Jordan's birthday and tending their children, spent a wonderful evening with my "old" Rupert friends, went to lunch with friends from my old job at BYU, started tutoring a mission companion of Andy's over Skype in Mongolia, October - attended my niece Megan's wedding to Jeremy, invited niece Kate and her friends over for dinner along with MIL Pat, attended great-niece Rachel's wedding in Logan to Shawn in the Logan temple, went to lunch with long-time friend Kathleen, had Sydney and Adam and boys over for dinner and later tended the boys while they attended the temple November - visited my friend LaRita who had surgery, taught the YW in  our ward a lesson about the importance of education, attended an overnight retreat with the women in our ward, tended for Syd and Adam while they went to the temple, continued teaching and tutoring missionaries at the MTC, went to lunch with my friend Sue B., attended the funeral of a friend John L., invited Cydnee to join our family for Thanksgiving dinner December - attended Ellie's baptism, saw Paul and DeNae, feed the sister missionaries dinner, took Cydnee shopping for a Christmas gift, spent the day with her, did the 12 days of Christmas for a family in our ward, continued to work on Dara's finances, hosted Dave and Courtney and their family and later the AZ crew for Christmas, invited Sue B. to the MTChoir Christmas concert, invited our friends the Philipp family over for dinner with 35 in attendance

14.  COMPLETED FOR 2015, BUT ONGOING - serve at UVU in the Women's Success Center board
Met for two board meetings and contributed.  Signed up to mentor three college students, got training and met with them individually (one widowed mother of five, one 18 year old, one 20 year old from a troubled family) to help them work towards receiving a college degree, attended more meetings and met with my mentees and provided breakfast, attended a talk by Sheri Dew sponsored by the Women's Success center, met with my mentees during the month, attended the closing social with my mentees, helped set up a meeting with some potential donors to the WSC, attended monthly meetings, signed up to mentor three new UVU young women, meeting with them monthly, attended President Holland's annual breakfast with board members, invited my college girl mentees over in December to make Christmas treats for them to take home after finals.

15.  COMPLETED!!! finish visiting the rest of the 50 states I haven't been to including: Kansas, Nebraska, Iowa, Missouri and Oklahoma - Oklahoma was my state #50!  This was a fabulous goal to complete and it really stretched us, but we loved it.  We learned so much and had so many valuable and memorable experiences together.

So...9 goals completed, 3 goals mostly completed, 3 goals not completed.  Not bad.  Now on to 2016!