Cousins

I have a lot of them. On my Dad's side of the family there are 24.

Aunt Edna & Uncle Rex - Utah

*Kay

*Ruth

*Beth

*Scott

*Karen

Aunt June & Uncle Ken (deceased) - California

*Rebecca

*Kenny

*Steven

*Jan

*Susie

Aunt Annie & Uncle Leno - California

*Carl

*Julie

*Jeannie

*Tom

Aunt Lorna & Uncle Val - Utah

*Susan

*Diane

*Roger

*Penny

*Sharon


Uncle Clair and Aunt Marilyn - Utah (raised their family in Missouri)

*David - pictured above

*Margaret - pictured above with her family

*Robert

*Catherine

*Susan

On my Mom's side there are 19.

Uncle Dean & Aunt Anna (deceased) - Utah

*Michael

*Scott

*Leslie

*Neil (deceased)

Aunt Gayla & Uncle Marvin (deceased) - Utah

*Alysa

*Karen (deceased)

*Newell (deceased)

*Dwight

*Bryce

*Gaylamarie

*May

Aunt Rhona & Uncle Bill - Utah

*Lavon

*David

*Dan

*Deana

*Janis

*Annette

*Lee

*Maria

That's 43 first cousins! As you can see, most of them live in Utah.

Last night we invited Margaret and David to come over with their families for a BBQ and to spend the evening. We enjoyed it so very much! It was great to visit with them and get to know their children better. Cousin David and his wife Susie have four wonderful children. They are very musically inclined and are developing their talents on the piano as well as all the instruments that make up a string quartet. Cousin Margaret has recently moved to town from Colorado. She is raising her six children on her own now and I'm so proud of her courage, patience and determination to do what is in the best interest of her family. She is an example of kindness and strengh to me and I love her!

If it were up to me, I would love to have a family reunion about every three or four years with these wonderful cousins and my aunts and uncles. They are amazing people who have raised some impressive children and now many of them have granchildren. They are contributing members of society who are making a difference in the world and I love to associate with them.

This time of year when I hear about families who have family reunions, I have reunion envy. I wish we could get together more often than we do, considering that so many of us live within a two hour drive from each other. I'd even organize the reunions if needed.

I can dream, can't I?

good times at the SCERA shell

Last Monday night we went with some of our friends to see Funny Girl at the SCERA shell. It was well done and entertaining for community theater. Then on Rick's birthday on the 24th, we went to dinner with his parents and then we all went to the Linda Eder concert at the outdoor shell. We thoroughly enjoyed the evening under the stars listening to an amazing talent. In a word...WOW. Her voice was amazing. I think it's the best talent that has come to the SCERA shell, maybe ever. Her concert, range, variety of songs and personality were awesome. Listen to her sing on Pandora and you'll see what I mean. She was a classy performer and we had a lovely evening.

Score!

Rick went from this grill...

to this one for Father's Day. Score! We can finally have grilled food that isn't burned or that falls through the slats on the grill onto the flame. Cool! Thanks to all the family contributors who helped make this a reality and to Jake for his expert advise in which kind to buy. You'll enjoy the benefits when you come to visit. Yes!

When I was in Arizona the last time visiting Jordan and Jake, Jord made these amazing hamburgers on their Weber grill. Give them a try. They're great:
Chipotle Grilled Hamburgers
1 1/2 pound ground beef
1 1/2 chopped chipotle peppers (buy in a can in the Mexican food section of the grocery store)
1 1/2 T. adobo sauce (it's the sauce in the chipotle pepper can, you just measure some out)
1/4 c. grated onion
1 t. garlic powder
1/2 t. cumin
1 1/2 t. salt
Mix all ingredients together and form 6 - 8 hamburgers. Yum! Experiment and add more peppers if you life it very spicy.
Sauce to spread on the buns
1/2 c. mayo
2 t. lime juice
2 T. chopped cilantro
1 1/2 t. adobo sauce (use the sauce out of the same can)

Serve with pepper jack cheese, fresh slice avocado, tomatoes and lettuce. Get ready for a taste sensation.

And to top it all off:

Lemon Ice Cream
4 cups sugar
3/4 c. fresh squeezed lemon juice
1 1/2 t. lemon extract
2 quarts milk
1 pint cream
Mix all ingredients, add cream last. Pour in ice cream freezer and freeze like any other ice cream.

Wow, what a flavor and so refreshing for a summer ice cream! Enjoy.

the coolest guy with the vuvuzela

A tight grip on loose reins

Parenting styles.
I really don't want to touch the topic with a ten foot pole since most parents are protective of their own style. That's understandable since some parents don't want other people to question their methods (or lack of methods) or make any judgments about their way of doing things. OK. I get that. However, I'll go out on a limb because I do think it is very interesting to consider the research on the topic. Some just came across my desk the other day. And this good research on the importance of the time dads spend with their kids. The fact of the matter is that some parenting styles are just more effective than others.
In a nut shell, here is what the expects say about the topic:

"There are many ideas about how to rear children. Some parents adopt the ideas their own parents used. Others get advice from friends. Some read books about parenting. Others take classes offered in the community. No one has all the answers. However, psychologists and other social scientists now know what parenting practices are most effective and are more likely to lead to positive outcomes for children.
Ideas about child rearing can be grouped into three styles. These are different ways of deciding who is responsible for what in a family.
Authoritarian parents always try to be in control and exert their control on the children. These parents set strict rules to try to keep order, and they usually do this without much expression of warmth and affection. They attempt to set strict standards of conduct and are usually very critical of children for not meeting those standards. They tell children what to do, they try to make them obey and they usually do not provide children with choices or options.
Authoritarian parents don't explain why they want their children to do things. If a child questions a rule or command, the parent might answer, "Because I said so." Parents tend to focus on bad behavior, rather than positive behavior, and children are scolded or punished, often harshly, for not following the rules.
Children with authoritarian parents usually do not learn to think for themselves and understand why the parent is requiring certain behaviors.
Permissive parents give up most control to their children. Parents make few, if any, rules, and the rules that they make are usually not consistently enforced. They don't want to be tied down to routines. They want their children to feel free. They do not set clear boundaries or expectations for the behavior of their children and tend to accept in a warm and loving way, however the child behaves.
Permissive parents give children as many choices as possible, even when the child is not capable of making good choices. They tend to accept a child's behavior, good or bad, and make no comment about whether it is beneficial or not. They may feel unable to change misbehavior, or they choose not to get involved.
Democratic Or Authoritative Democratic parents help children learn to be responsible for themselves and to think about the consequences of their behavior. Parents do this by providing clear, reasonable expectations for their children and explanations for why they expect their children to behave in a particular manner. They monitor their children's behavior to make sure that they follow through on rules and expectations. They do this in a warm and loving manner. They often, "try to catch their children being good" and reinforcing the good behavior, rather than focusing on the bad.
For example, a child who leaves her toys on a staircase may be told not to do this because, "Someone could trip on them and get hurt and the toy might be damaged." As children mature, parents involve children in making rules and doing chores: "Who will mop the kitchen floor, and who will carry out the trash?"
Parents who have a democratic style give choices based on a child's ability. For a toddler, the choice may be "red shirt or striped shirt?" For an older child, the choice might be "apple, orange or banana?" Parents guide children's behavior by teaching, not punishing. "You threw your truck at Mindy. That hurt her. We're putting your truck away until you can play with it safely."

Which is your style? Maybe you are somewhere in between. Think about what you want your children to learn. Research on children's development shows that the most positive outcomes for children occur when parents use democratic styles. Children with permissive parents tend to be aggressive and act out, while children with authoritarian parents tend to be compliant and submissive and have low self-esteem.
No parenting style will work unless you build a loving bond with your child. But loving your child is not enough. You must also be the parent and exert your influence in helping them become responsible people and setting expectations and rules that you want them to follow. They need a parent more than they need a best friend. They need supervision and affection. You'll do yourself and your child the most good if you lead with love, but you must lead and set parameters. That isn't their job. It's your responsibility as a parent."

Many years ago Rick heard a phrase that we adopted. The phrase is this - "have a tight grip on loose reins" as a parent. I agree with that philosophy. What do you think?

At a Target near you

50% off - $24.00 plus tax!

You don't see that every day

Things have been entirely too serious around here.

This is the forth day Andy and I have been sitting around home going from the bed to the couches in the family room. I have bronchitis and an ear infection and he is suffering terribly with the shoulder surgery.

Check out these silly/funny Dorito ads created by some BYU students who had nothing better to do. Apparently they won some awards:

"The BYU Ad Lab has combined ferocious critters with Doritos-eating folks to win a Student Gold ADDY Award, one of the top advertising prizes awarded in the country for student work.

Students picked up their hardware Saturday in a ceremony in Orlando, Fla. The Ad Lab landed the ADDY for their creative work on an advertising campaign and commercial created for the Doritos “Crash the Super Bowl” contest."

Life is not fair, and neither is football

Things have been all aflutter around here over the last week. Not only have the medical problems listed below taken their toll (oh, and I have bronchitis and an ear infection to add to the fun) but we have pretty much had a not stop conversation about this.

Yes, we have an obvious bias around here as mentioned in previous posts. But this latest series of events is just about more than we can take.

It's fine that Utah got invited to the prom, but BYU should have been invited too.

I really do just have one question. I would really like an answer. What do those LDS members who are also Ute fans feel about the university that is supported 100% by their own religion (and tithing funds no less), taking it in the shorts, the obvious object of religious prejudice? Where is their outcry for fairness?

I love this quote from Westin H. - It's the City of Enoch watching Babylon get translated instead.

"Numerous sources who have had dealings with the Pac-10 hierarchy say the league's presidents didn't feel comfortable inviting BYU then, just like they don't now.

Why?

Publicly, Pac-10 officials have said they're not interested in BYU because it is a teaching institution rather than a research institution. Sources have told the Deseret News for years that this is merely a smokescreen. They say if "research" is part of the criteria, there are schools already within the Pac-10 that don't qualify by that standard.

Sources say Pac-10 presidents have blackballed BYU simply because of their biases against the school.

"It's religious prejudice masquerading as academic snobbery," one source has told the Deseret News. "They're trying to find an excuse to avoid the real issue, that they don't want a school that is tied to the LDS Church."

What not to do

Don't follow your instincts and put your left arm out to catch yourself when you fall. Especially if you're Andy. Terrible things can happen. You might break both bones in your left arm when you are snowboarding at the age of 15. You might dislocate your shoulder and tear the labrum while doing so while falling down some icy stairs in Mongolia while serving a mission. Over a year ago. Then you'd have to put up with daily pain until you could get back to the states to get it looked at. Yup, an MRI revealed a tear in the labrum. Unpleasant surgery recommended. Lots of pain involved . A nerve block kept him out of pain for the first 24 hours. Amazing how those work. Thanks to modern medicine, they put six anchors into his shoulder to reattach the labrum back to the bone. He'll be in a sling for six weeks. Can't lift or move his shoulder. Then lots of painful physical therapy.
Oh, and thank goodness for Percocet (carefully monitored.)

Feel free to give him a call and offer some encouragement and sympathy. He's a brave kid who has had his fair share of suffering.

Bad news at the Dr. today

This is what a normal knee looks like from the back view. See all that nice space between the femur and the tibia where the meniscus is? I don't have hardly any of that in my left knee.

My left knee is shot. Bone on bone. It's been locking up lately when it's been at an angle. It gets stuck and won't move until finally it makes a loud pop and goes back into place. It's not pleasant when that happens and it's been happening more often. Today an X-ray revealed bone on bone and bone spurs and arthritis. Yikes. The Dr. said that for all that is wrong with it, it's amazing I'm not in more pain. He's surprised that I can do all that I can do. He said to keep doing it, so I'll keep walking, exercising and just living my life but at some point I'm going to need steroid shots to control the pain and ultimately---a knee replacement. Shoot!

This is all because of skiing you know.

A series of unfortunate events has brought me to this point.

I broke my left femur at age 20 while skiing at Sundance

Traction in the hospital for six weeks, a body cast for six more.

Knee immobile in traction and the body cast. Cartilage was stiffened and my knee got welded in place from non use. Painful physical therapy loosed it up again, but at a cost to the cartilage. It became more brittle.

Skiing again at age 45 with the family for the start of the new millennium at Snowbird.

Fell (not even that hard ) and wrenched my knee.

Tore the meniscus (cartilage) between the two big bones in the knee.

Went along with pain on and off for five years.

After gardening one spring, it started to swell and I couldn't go on.

Got a knee scope and the Dr. smoothed out the torn meniscus.

(Also got burned in the process and got a nice settlement from

the hospital - that's a story for another day.)

Knee slowly improved.

It's been doing pretty well these last five years until now when it started locking up.

I really did enjoy skiing. I hope it was worth it.

My mother predicted this might happen back in 1975.

I guess she was right....

Parents of young children

I admire them.
I was one of them once, but you kind of forget.
The daily schedule is relentless.
The hours are way bad.

The payoff comes years later (usually)
although there are dividends along the way.

You have to go on faith and
work hard.

My belief is that parents of young children ought to have a plan.
Work at it as a team. Be consistent.
It's very important that both parents agree and
buy in on how to undertake this important responsibility.
It's should not be taken lightly.
That makes for the very best situation for a child.
This fact cannot be overstated.

There is no certification to become a parent.
No parenting license.
Maybe in some cases there should be
since effective parenting is probably one
of the most important factors
in determining if a kid will
have a true chance at succeeding in life.

There is work to be done, and done again, and again and again.
The daily schedule is repetitive and relentless.
Up early, to bed late, with interruptions during the nights.
Meals to be made and cleaned up again and again...and again.
Endless piles of laundry.
Not enough sleep.
Usually, not enough money.
Not enough time.

Patience is required...and a lot of it.

A sense of humor helps.

Sometimes, there is not enough training and know
how to get the job done well.
So often, young parents just do to their children
what was done to them.
This can be good or it can be bad.

But to compensate, there is unconditional love,
innocence, teaching moments, appreciation, kindness, laughter, joy.

There are a lot of things that have to be done that aren't any fun at all.

Another life is totally and completely dependent on you the parent.
Changing diapers, potty training, brushing and flossing teeth, breaking up squabbles,
setting limits and enforcing them, doing the bedtime routine,
wiping up spills, picking up the toys for the millionth time.
Changing the wet bed sheets again.

Listening to crying almost hourly.
There are so many things to be taught and shown by example.
And don't forget about limiting TV time,
keeping a constant outlook for their well being,
and the worst of all
Buckling and unbuckling those blasted car seats 35 times a day.

But, at the end of the day there is an overwhelming sense of love.
There is a little person staring back at you who looks like you
and
even sometimes acts like you.

So, you take it a day at a time.
You do the best you can.
You pray. Sometimes you cry.
And, you just keep on going.
Because you are a parent

and you have help from heaven to assist you in
the most rewarding experience of a lifetime.

I'm so proud of you young parents!
You amaze me.
You're doing a wonderful job.

World Cup basics

No, I'm not calling you stupid. I don't know as much about the World Cup as I'd like, either. But in a measley 170 words I've managed to give you everything you need to know about the tournament so you'll be informed when it all kicks off. Why waste your time reading long-winded articles or listening to actual experts? I hate listening to experts.
Here we go:

World Cup Basics

32 teams are playing in the tournament held throughout South Africa.
They are broken down into eight groups (four countries in each).
Each team plays one game against the three other nations in their group.
The top two squads from each group then move onto the elimination round based on win-loss record for a total of 16 teams. The tie breaker (if you really want to dig deep) is head-to-head and then goal differential.

The 16 teams then enter a bracket-style, single-elimination playoff (like March Madness).
If the score is tied at the end of regulation (90 minutes plus the time spent spraying players' injuries with Pledge) it goes to a shootout.

The Favorites (in descending order)

Brazil
Spain
England
Argentina (whoot whoot!)
Italy
Germany
Netherlands
France
Ivory Coast
Portugal (oh yeah!)
USA (go guys go!)

Five Players You Need to Know

Wayne Rooney, England
Cristiano Ronaldo, Portugal
Lionel Messi, Argentina
Kaka, Brazil
Xavi, Spain

The United States Schedule

Saturday June 12, 2:30 p.m. EST vs. England
Friday June 18, 10:00 a.m. EST vs. Slovenia
Wednesday June 23, 10:00 a.m. EST vs. Algeria

Good luck soccer fans! Both of you…

Check out this site. Cool stuff.

Happiness Remix

I can't turn it off. Since I was given the topic of "being a humble seeker of happiness" for the women's conference talk back at the end of December, I've thought a lot about happiness. I keep thinking about it...I've observed people, asked them questions about what makes them happy and read anything that I come across that has to do with happiness. It's such an interesting topic and of course being happy means different things to different people. Recently I've read three points of view that I thought would be worth sharing. Here are the gems:
From the USA Weekend newspaper magazine -
Want to be happy? Have a conversation. What's important to a happy life are meaningful conversations say researchers at the University of Arizona in Tuscon and Washington University in St. Louis. People who spend less time alone and more time talking meaningfully to others are found to be happier. They found that the happiest participants spend 25% less time alone and 70% more time talking than the unhappiest. Researchers suggest deep conversations may give a sense of meaning in interactions with others, which may make people happier.
From the LDS church news, May 29, 2010-
Most people one would surmise, want to be happy; many spend a lifetime actively seeking happiness. However, the number of individuals who actually achieve that goal seems to be greatly limited. Many people think that the word "pleasure" has the same meaning as the word for "joy" or "happiness". In their pursuit of happiness, they take a route that leads only to pleasure, which, in most cases, has a shorter shelf life than joy or happiness.
Is it not plainly laid out for us in Ecclesiastes 5:10 and 12:13 that those individuals who have true happiness are the ones who not only have faith in the Lord but also obey His commandments and live their lives in a manner that will bless others? Being true to our duty shows that we are true followers of the Lord. Staying true to our duty is the only way to obtain happiness.
From the book I'm currently reading - Three Cups of Tea -
Norberg-Hodge admiringly quotes the king of another Himalayan country, Bhutan, who says that the true measure of a nations' success is not gross national product, but "gross national happiness." On their warm, dry roofs, among the fruits of their successful harvest, eating, smoking, gossiping with a sense of leisure, Mortensen felt that for all they lacked, the Balti still held the key to a kind of uncomplicated happiness that was disappearing in the developing world as fast as old-growth forests. Their happiness sprung from the simple pleasures of good food, good conversation and the attention of family and friends.

I think there are three little nuggets of wisdom in these quotes. True happiness comes from connecting to others in conversation, in making our actions consistent with our knowledge of right and wrong, in performing our duty and serving others and in enjoying the simple pleasures of life.

What do you do when it's 102?

Run for Rex

Video Courtesy of KSL.com

We participated in the 5 K run for Rex on Saturday to help raise some money for medical expenses. KSL did this piece on his story. Rex is the 3 year old grandson of some of our good friends and we went to support them and their little grandson Rex who has an inoperable brain tumor. Rex is the nephew of Taylor R. who is Andy's good friend. It was amazing to see all the community support and love that has been shown to this family. I hope they feel comforted. It's such a hard situation and we pray for them.

Two amazing web sites

If you're just sitting around and want to learn something new, or see something amazing, then check out this web site. Wimp.com. Wow. They post six new videos each day.

If you enjoy playing games, especially word games, brain training games, etc. check out this web site. Sporkle.com. Amazing. Rick especially enjoys it. I think David E. would too.

Advice for women

Ladies - if you don't do anything else this weekend, please read this talk. It will be the best 15 minutes of your whole weekend. I promise.
Think about it. Talk about it. Pray about it. It contains some very good wisdom from a friend I've know for years.

Strawberry Refrigerator Dessert

Strawberry Refrigerator Dessert
1 box vanilla wafers (I use the low fat kind)
2 1/2 cups powdered sugar
1 square butter
2 eggs
2 containers (about 3-4 cups - see picture) strawberries
2 cups cream (whipped)

Crush wafers in food processor to a fine powder or crush with a rolling pin. Line a pan with half of the crumbs. Mix butter, sugar and eggs. Layer on top of crumbs. Put on sliced strawberries. Add whipped cream that has been sweetened with 2 tablespoons of sugar. Top with the rest of the wafer crumbs. Refrigerate for several hours before serving. Enjoy!