They shall deceive the very elect

I've had this post bouncing around in my head for several years now.  It's a tough one.  I want to put it down in words so that I can process it better. I also hope that anyone reading this who has a desire to talk about it with me will do so.  I really do want to understand better those people with a different point of view from mine.  I don't have a large readership according to Google Analytics and I'm not sure who reads this blog any more anyway.  So here goes.  I'm not setting out to offend anyone or change their opinion.  I'm just stating my opinion based on my experiences and observations and to hopefully get a better perspective.

I cannot, for the life of me, understand why active members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints apostatize and leave the church.  I just don't get it.  I don't understand how people I know and love who were baptized as eight-year-old children, who grew up attending church with their families, often serving LDS missions and teaching and testifying to other people about the truths of the gospel, and then marrying in the temple and making sacred covenants, can leave.  Just like that.  Gone.  The End. Or so it seems.

They may struggle with the decision and hesitate telling people of their decision, but in the end, they do announce their exit and then walk away and often expect those around them not to react in a way that will make THEM feel uncomfortable.  In fact, their leaving generally makes everyone around them feel uncomfortable, distressed and terribly sad.  Make no mistake, it is the biggest of deals.  I wonder if in our desire to be so accommodating and not offend, we who remain with the faith give the impression that we are either neutral about their action in leaving or that we don't want to get involved because of the possible unpleasant consequences that could harm family relationships.  I think that parents have every right to say how they feel in a loving way, but to say what they feel about this major shift in belief. We may feel limited in expressing our true feelings because finding the right words at the right time can be difficult.  People have agency and they can use that agency however they want.  But they can't choose the consequences of their choices. Why should family dynamics change to accommodate the one who left?  My thought is that traditions and religious observations should go on as usual since most family members remain true to the faith.  The one who leaves can decide if they will participate.

Often promises are made to the parents when a young man asks for a young lady's hand in marriage.  Are those expectations to be disregarded now?  What if one spouse leaves and one spouse stays?  What happens to the children and their future religious prospects?  These and many more are very challenging problems that I have seen play out more than I would have imagined.

There may be other church members who are relatively new to the gospel as converts who haven't had decades of church membership in their family lines.  There may be some who only attended infrequently, and who never gained for themselves a strong conviction of the truths of the restored gospel.  Those situations I understand a little better.

It makes me feel so incredibly sad.  Sad for them.  Sad for their spouses (if one leaves and the other one doesn't.)  Sad for their children, parents, extended family and friends.  Sad that they are forgetting (as I see it) their birthright.  I'm trying to figure out if they have truly stopped to weigh and measure the consequences, eternal consequences, by walking away.  What of the covenants they made in the temple and at baptism? Are those of no consequence now?  Did they not really mean it when they made them?

I've always liked the thought of being a strong link in the chain of family members over generations.  I remember hearing this talk given by Elder David B. Haight in 2000.  It created in my mind and heart a desire to ALWAYS be a strong link in the chain binding my past family relations to my future ones.  I never wanted to be the one who broke the chain.  I'm fortunate to be the 5th generation of a chain of believers who accepted the gospel of Jesus Christ in their home lands in Europe.  I've now passed that belief on to two more generations.  President Hinckley spoke to the students at BYU years ago.  He made the statement that life is a great chain of generations, link following link, until the end of time.  In talking to the students, he encouraged them not to be a weak link but to be a strong link in their family generations.

I realize that there are as many different circumstances for people leaving as there are people.  In my experience, here is what I've noticed from some of those who have left. Some have been offended by other members or a church leader, others don't like church policies or the way the church leadership has handled certain aspects of church history.  Some can't reconcile inconsistencies in early church history.  Some may lack faith or don't actively maintain their faith and it slips away. Others get hung up on polygamy that was practiced in the church over 100 years ago. Some don't like the burden of keeping the commandments.  Some just don't want to try anymore.  Others think that Joseph Smith was a fraud and a liar. Some may believe that grace is sufficient to be saved and that works don't matter.  Some don't like the church stance on the family, particularly the definition that marriage is between a man and a woman.  Some want a 10% raise by not paying tithing and a full two-day weekend by not having to attend church.  Some are lazy and don't want to make much effort. Some have made mistakes that are of such a serious nature that they have determined that they are outside of the healing power of the atonement.  They excommunicate themselves. They don't want to confess their sins and forsake them, so they just quit coming.  Some become atheists or agnostics. Some women have issues with priesthood authority only being given to men and their supposed hierarchal leadership over women in the church. Some don't understand the doctrine as taught by the Savior in all its fullness.  Some never really had testimonies of the gospel of Jesus Christ in the first place.  They may feel like they were deceived and that all a person needs to do is Come to Jesus.  Maybe they don't believe in God anymore because they have suffered a terribly hard experience and think that He wasn't there for them.  Others become too smart for their own good.  They pursue higher education in very liberal institutions and let those institutions and professors and other influences change their ways of thinking about religious things.  They are made to look odd or weak for having faith, because faith is old school and can't be proven. These and many more are all possible, and understandable, reasons to struggle. I get it.  We all have doubts of various things along the way.  It's what we do with those doubts and questions that matters.  Do we feed them or do we push them out with action to build and maintain our faith? I love what Elder Uchtdorf said some years ago: Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith.

But there are so many more reasons to stay.  Where do I even start?  Gospel living will make our lives go better.  Not problem free, but better because we will have the tools to deal with challenges when they come.  We have a clear view and understanding of the plan of salvation - where we came from, why we are here struggling along, and where we can go if we prove faithful.  The gospel of Jesus Christ gives us something to shoot for, something better than our "natural man/woman tendencies."  We will have fewer addictions and health problems because of our health code and living practices.  Our children will turn out better (not problem free, but more grounded in morals and values.)  They will be successful in life because they have an anchor and a guide to live by that brings them and us greater happiness and perspective.  We will have opportunities to serve others on a regular basis, have teaching and training for our children, and enjoy youth opportunities in a safe, caring environment, friendship and watch care of other adults.  We have LDS temples dotting the world where we can go to do saving ordinances for our kindred dead and thereby strengthen the chain of generations.  We can be sealed to our spouses for time and all eternity by one having authority to do so.  We care for the poor and needy in meaningful ways on a very large scale.  We learn of the value of education and self-reliance and we take care of our own needs. We strive to improve ourselves and be better people of good judgement, with high moral standards.  And we strive to share the good news of the gospel wherever and whenever we can.  With all these blessings (and more) that come through gospel living, why wouldn't we want to share it?  After all, what else has any lasting value in the world?  If we were to leave, where else would we go that offers what this church offers?

Another questions is WHERE do people turn when they have questions or doubts.  Do they turn to trusted family members, friends of faith, leaders, and those with whom they have had significant spiritual experiences over their lives, or, do they turn to strangers with the end goal of turning their faith into ashes.  Some podcasts, books, live chats, newspapers with liberal agendas, and of course the internet which is the font of all the is true and correct (wrong!)  People will find what they are looking for.  Maybe it will be an essay written by a former institute teacher, a disavowed leader, a blogger with an anti-Mormon agenda, or members of some standing in the community, or the incitements of other churches that play catchy music and dance in the isles.  There are many carrots dangling from what appears to be better and more interesting ways of being religions.  But do they have the authority and power to bind on earth what will be bound in heaven?  I believe that the key is to look UP not around.  Seek personal revelation directly from our Heavenly Father.  Seek for His confirmation, not from worldly sources.

I don't intend to judge people when they leave, but I would like to understand more about why they leave.  I want to understand, primarily because their leaving changes the dynamics within family, friendships and neighborhoods, especially if those relationships have been long-standing over decades.  What was once a shared commonality now becomes an awkward adjustment in trying to find new common ground.  What can be discussed, what must be avoided?  What will offend?  What were once joyful shared experiences, now become taboo or greatly altered in trying to ensure that  no one feels uncomfortable.   This is very hard to manage. How is this best navigated?

Of course I know it is through love that all things can be accomplished  Love is the great common ground.  It is the great equalizer.  It opens doors and it opens hearts.  It heals and it comforts.  But there also needs to be honest communication.  Talking openly with trust with loved ones helps to bridge the gap.  Setting up new ground rules and new ways of doing things so that no one steps on a land mine would be so helpful.  It takes maturity and careful maneuvering to pull this off, but it can be done.  What other ideas could be suggested?

We are living in the last dispensation of the fullness of times.  Satan is abroad in the land.  He is trying with all his might to trip up, stop, discourage, lie to, deceive and plant seeds of doubt into the hearts and mind of the believers in Christ.  He is waging full out battle.  He stops at nothing.  He is going to find a little crack in the armor of long-time members of the church and he is going to chip away, chip away, here a little, there a little, until he succeeds in pulling down the faith and belief of a follower of Christ as a member of this church.  This was prophesied in the scriptures:

Matthew 24:24 - For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall shew great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect.

To my dear loved ones, family members and friends, don't be deceived!  Hold on to your faith!  Do the daily practices that build faith including the basics like prayer, church attendance, service, going to the temple and staying within the bounds the Lord has set.  The best thing I know of to keep a testimony of this restored gospel is to read the Book of Mormon daily.  I doubt that someone who is actually reading the Book of Mormon daily is going to walk away.  The power and pure gospel teachings of that book are too strong.  It cannot be denied.  Our past beloved President Monson, with his last general address to the church, pleaded with the membership of the church to read the Book of Mormon daily.  It is one sure way to keep the faith.  He said:  This morning I speak about the power of the Book of Mormon and the critical need we have as members of this Church to study, ponder, and apply its teaching in our lives.  The importance of having a firm and sure testimony of the Book of Mormon cannot be overstated.

Yesterday we attended the temple sealing of our dear family friends (Tyler and Kenna) in the Provo City Temple.  As I sat there, I could feel the spirit confirm to me once again that this is Christ's church.  The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has the power, authority, teachings and blessings we need to enjoy life now and in the life to come.  We have a living prophet and  twelve apostles who receive inspiration and follow our Savior and our Heavenly Father. Through sealing ordinances in the temple, what is bound on earth will be bound in heaven. I have felt that spiritual confirmation again and again and I can never deny it.  This is where I plant my flag and I will not be moved.  Andy attended the wedding with me and Rick and as we walked out he said in essence: "This is where we stand.  This is what we believe.  This is who we are."

Working Mormon women

I've been involved in the Women's Success Center at UVU for about four years now.  It's been a privilege to serve with an organization that I really feel strongly about.  It's my time now to step down after serving on the board with some amazing women over the years.  Our last fund raising effort was another huge success, thanks in large part to my cousin Janis, who along with her husband Corey and his associated business, were sponsors of the event. Over $300,000 was raised at one luncheon for the educational pursuits of women attending UVU.  Through my tenure, I got to serve with two of my cousins - Rebecca from my dad's side of the family and Janis from my mom's side of the family.  Serving together with them was a lot of fun and I will remember many wonderful shared experiences in mentoring other women and learning and growing together as we worked to advance the achievement and success of women.

Helping women succeed in whatever they want to do is very important to me.  I have seen so many women struggling along in life without the preparation they needed to be successful in supporting themselves and their families and in finding fulfillment and joy in their journeys. Women should have options and plans to succeed in whatever field of study or combination of jobs outside or inside of their homes that they choose to do to contribute to society, their families and their neighborhoods. I'm a believer in preparation, knowing that it leads to success and choice.  Freedom to choose instead of having limited options and low paying jobs.

The Deseret News has been running a series or article about the gender wage gape in Utah.  The articles are fascinating to me. They are well researched and present some interesting statistics and information.

The truth about Utah and the nation's gender pay gap.
Mormon women navigate cultural pressures around work, family and faith.

I have lots of thoughts on this topic and maybe I'll share them later.  What do you think?

Cooking with Ann

I get in a rut sometimes when it comes to cooking.  Since I've been back to cooking for just two for awhile now, I've had to find some motivation to keep at it.  After 35 years of cooking meals, it can get old. And it's not over yet. 
We always ate as a family when the kids were going up.  6:00 pm sharp.  Our children noticed that they usually had three items on their plates...the main dish, a vegetable and a fruit or a side dish.  I also made a lot of homemade bread, cookies and other baked goods.  I don't bake much anymore.  We can't eat a whole dessert and we don't need the extra calories. I enjoyed cooking good meals for my family.
It's a lot easier to make some simple meals for just the two of us such as salad and a grilled chicken breast, a pot of soup, or a sandwich and veggies, etc. I use to stock more "kid friendly" food, but now we're down to mostly lean meat, a little fish, fresh fruit and vegetables.  We don't buy soda, potato chips or other treats and we don't buy packaged or much frozen prepared food.  We really try to shop around the perimeter of the store where the real food is. We're pretty successful at eating healthy and cutting out sugar and the non-healthy choices. 
We've started the habit of buying a variety of veggies and then making "veggie bags" to take to work each week.  The veggies fill a gallon size zip-lock bag and will usually last for a week or so.  Rick eats his within a few days, but it takes me longer to eat mine.  I like mine with some lite ranch dip and he likes his without any dip. We usually include: carrots, celery, broccoli, cauliflower, colored peppers, snap peas, cucumbers and grape tomatoes. It's a great snack at work.
I also got some new cookbooks.  Claire gave me two issues of the Pioneer Woman's cook books and I really like them.  Ann Romney's Family Table has motivated me to try some new recipes.  My daughters gave me the cookbook for my birthday.  It has some good recipes in it. So far  I've tried:

chicken pasta primavera with fresh veggies

*crispy chicken fingers with dipping sauces

sweet pork burritos

Mitt's meatloaf

beef tenderloin

butternut squash soup

minestrone soup

mango salad

Caesar salad with homemade dressing

butter lettuce salad

The dessert section looks inviting and I'll try more of those when company comes around to help eat it. What do you do to keep cooking interesting and to serve healthy food??

This recipe is from Ann's book and we really enjoyed it.  I served it when we had some friends over for dinner and it was a hit!  It's healthy and lite.

*Crispy chicken with dipping sauces*

1 3/4 cups walnuts
1 cup plain dry breadcrumbs, divided
1 1/2 t. salt
1/2 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper
2 large eggs, beaten
2 pounds boneless, skinless chicken tenders
Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Spray a baking dish with cooking spray.
In a food processor or blender, blend walnuts and 1/4 cup bread crumbs until finely ground.  In a medium bowl, combine nut mixture with salt, pepper, and remaining bread crumbs; mix well.
Beat eggs with fork in a pie plate.  Dip each piece of chicken in beaten egg, then in walnut mixture to coat; place on prepared pan.  Bake chicken 20-25 minutes or until golden brown.
While chicken is cooking, prepare sauces.
Apricot balsamic sauce:
Stir together 1 cup apricot preserves, 2 T. balsamic vinegar and 1 T. soy sauce
Honey mustard sauce:
Stir together 2/3 c. Dijon mustard, 1/4 c. sour cream, 1/4 c. honey and 3/4 t. Worcestershire sauce
Blue Cheese sauce:
Mix together 1/4 c. mayonnaise, 1/4 c. plain nonfat yogurt, 1/4 t. Tabasco sauce, 1/4 t. coarsely ground black pepper.  Stir in 3 ounces crumbled blue cheese.
Enjoy!

Sleep hygiene

I've been a very good sleeper all of my life...until I hit the age of 50... then everything went down hill. Now I rejoice when I can get a full night of sleep. It so rarely happens. Usually I can't fall asleep, even when I'm very tired. Or I'll fall asleep and then wake up several times during the night. And the worst is that I wake up early, even before the alarm goes off around 5:00 am. It is a rare occurrence for the alarm to actually wake me up. So what's a person to do?
My Doctor recommended this web site from the National Sleep Foundation:

What is sleep hygiene?

Sleep hygiene is a variety of different practices that are necessary to have normal, quality nighttime sleep and full daytime alertness.

It was some good suggestions:

The most important sleep hygiene measure is to maintain a regular sleep and wake pattern seven days a week. It is also important to spend an appropriate amount of time in bed, not too little, or too excessive. This may vary by individual; for example, if someone has a problem with daytime sleepiness, they should spend a minimum of eight hours in bed, if they have difficulty sleeping at night, they should limit themselves to 7 hours in bed in order to keep the sleep pattern consolidated. In addition, good sleep hygiene practices include:

• Avoid napping during the day; it can disturb the normal pattern of sleep and wakefulness.
• Avoid stimulants such as caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol too close to bedtime. While alcohol is well known to speed the onset of sleep, it disrupts sleep in the second half as the body begins to metabolize the alcohol, causing arousal.
• Exercise can promote good sleep. Vigorous exercise should be taken in the morning or late afternoon. A relaxing exercise, like yoga, can be done before bed to help initiate a restful night's sleep.
• Food can be disruptive right before sleep; stay away from large meals close to bedtime. Also dietary changes can cause sleep problems, if someone is struggling with a sleep problem, it's not a good time to start experimenting with spicy dishes. And, remember, chocolate has caffeine.
• Ensure adequate exposure to natural light. This is particularly important for older people who may not venture outside as frequently as children and adults. Light exposure helps maintain a healthy sleep-wake cycle.
• Establish a regular relaxing bedtime routine. Try to avoid emotionally upsetting conversations and activities before trying to go to sleep. Don't dwell on, or bring your problems to bed.
• Associate your bed with sleep. It's not a good idea to use your bed to watch TV, listen to the radio, or read.
• Make sure that the sleep environment is pleasant and relaxing. The bed should be comfortable, the room should not be too hot or cold, or too bright.

I've also been taking this herb and it has been working quite well. This herb was also recommended to me by the Doctor. I'm hoping that one or the other will help me get a good night's sleep. If you have problems sleeping, what have you tried to help with the problem? Please share.

Suicide prevention

A few years ago a friend called me who was in trouble. I couldn't understand what she was saying, but I could recognize her voice. By the time my husband and I got to her, she was face down in vomit on the floor and was unresponsive. We helped her and called 911 and they came and scooped her up and took her to the emergency room. I stayed with her as they cleaned out her stomach and saved her life. She had overdosed and it wasn't the first time nor would it be the last attempt.
I know this is a difficult subject, but it is an important subject. I don't think that we can turn our backs on it because it is unsavory and no one wants to think about it. I've been thinking about how to help those who are contemplating suicide a lot over the last month or so. The affects can be so devastating for the ones left behind. I've observed how difficult it is for the family and friends who are close to the person who left them unexpectedly. They sometimes feel that it was their fault or that they should have done more to help. Suicide causes a lot of remorse.
I ask myself, what can be done to prevent this tragedy?
There is a lot written on the subject. Check out this link at the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline for more information, and this link for the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention.

What Are The Warning Signs For Suicide?

Seek help as soon as possible by contacting a mental health professional or by calling the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK if you or someone you know exhibits any of the following signs:

• Threatening to hurt or kill oneself or talking about wanting to hurt or kill oneself
• Looking for ways to kill oneself by seeking access to firearms, available pills, or other means
• Talking or writing about death, dying, or suicide when these actions are out of the ordinary for the person
• Feeling hopeless
• Feeling rage or uncontrolled anger or seeking revenge
• Acting reckless or engaging in risky activities - seemingly without thinking
• Feeling trapped - like there's no way out
• Increasing alcohol or drug use
• Withdrawing from friends, family, and society
• Feeling anxious, agitated, or unable to sleep or sleeping all the time
• Experiencing dramatic mood changes
• Seeing no reason for living or having no sense of purpose in life

I can see some of these warning signs in my friend even now. She lives alone. She is estranged from her family. She is a dear kind friend, but she has some significant mental health challenges. Given all of her obstacles, I marvel at her strength to fight back and to carry on. I've know her for more than 20 years and I've observed a thing or two that really helps her. I think these are things that would help anyone with suicidal tendencies.

1. Friends she can depend on. People who are her friends unconditionally. People who accept her for what she is and don't try and change her.
2. Friends who listen, who invite her to go places, who show an interest in her life. People who take time to be with her and do things, even little things. She doesn't want to feel like she is a "project" for anyone. She can tell the difference.
   
3. A hobby or way to express some creative abilities.
   
4. Work. Having something to do.
   
5. Consistency. We have a walking date every Monday at 5:30. We rarely miss, rain or shine. Her other friends have similar things that they do with her. She counts on it. She needs it. EVERYONE needs human interaction.
6. Service. She has found a way to serve. She tutors students who need help with math. She volunteers at the library. She gives to others in other ways as well and this really makes her feel worthwhile and needed. The more she is needed, the happier she is! The more purpose her life has, the better goes her mental health. I believe that most people need to feel needed and wanted. It's a pretty sad life otherwise.
7. Faith in a higher power. A belief that our lives have a purpose and that we are on the earth to accomplish some things and to return to our Father in Heaven.
   

There are so many people who feel alone in the world. They may be alone in the world. I think it is very important to identify people who are lonely, the aged, the sick, single people who are shut ins and who may not have a strong support group. Visit them, take them somewhere, show some interest in their lives. Be their friends. My opinion is that some suicides could be prevented if people took notice and reached out more. Make a visit. Pick up a phone. Send a card. Say hello. Set a lunch date. Just talk and ask the person how they are doing. Listen.
What are your thoughts? What can be done to prevent this tragedy?

A conundrum

This is a post that I've pondered for a long time. I was hoping to come to some sort of resolution in my mind about the challenge. I haven't. Not completely anyway.
I was reminded of this puzzle or conundrum while watching a movie a month ago that I particularly like called A River Runs Through It.
It's the story of two brothers growing up in Missoula, Montana. One makes good choices and the other does not. It's the age old story of the prodigal son only in this movie, the son who isn't making good choices doesn't come home. The ripple affect of his choices are deeply felt by those people around him who love him.

The conundrum is this (as quoted in various places in the movie):

Jesse: Why is it the people who need the most help... won't take it?

Older Norman: It is those we live with and love and should know who elude us.

Rev. Maclean: Each one of here today will at one time in our lives look upon a loved one who is in need and ask the same question: We are willing help, Lord, but what, if anything, is needed? For it is true we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted. And so it is those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love completely without complete understanding.

It's hard to stand by and see a loved one go down a road that is certain to be fraught with pitfalls and hard times.
It's hard to watch a loved one go through hard times brought on my their own choices.
It's hard to watch a loved one pour their love and attention on strangers and treat those who have loved them the longest and the most completely with indifference and apathy or even scorn.
It's hard to want to help but to have the offer rejected.
It's hard to feel distanced from a loved one when all you want is closeness.
It's hard to offer help and then to be rejected by a loved one who is offended that the help was even offered which caused embarrassment that someone even noticed that a need existed. .
It's hard to love completely someone who has rejected you, especially if that person is a close family member.
It's hard to be treated with indifference.
It's hard to be glossed over and over looked.
It's hard not to be included.
It's hard to be told that you want too much, expect too much when you don't really feel like you do.
It's hard.

I believe that these are some of the most challenging situations in life. The human relations family situations. The situations with people you know well with whom you should have an ongoing loving relationship.

It's so much easier to just withdraw and not deal with them.
It's so much easier to avoid. To be quiet. To give the silent treatment. To give "the look." To talk about them to other people. To judge. To make them out to be the bad guy.

But that doesn't feel right. It isn't right. It isn't the answer.

The answer (as stated above) IS love. It is. It's unconditional love, without fully understanding.
But sometimes it's so very hard to do this. It's so much easier said than done. It takes more strength and determination than a mere moral can summon. It's takes Godly courage and strength. It's takes the intervention of the Lord's atonement. It's takes accessing a power greater than our own. It's takes acknowledging our complete and utter dependence on Him. It's takes turning the burden over to Him.
There really is no other way.

What do you think? Talk to me sometime about this topic if you would like to.

Is Barbie to blame?

There is so much out there about how we come to understand and achieve our own self-worth as women and girls. There is a bewildering amount of information about what makes us tick and to try and figure out why we do what we do and for whom.
I thought these three articles were very interesting. They make completely different points, but it all seems to boil down to the same thought. Should the media, society, friends or other people tell us who we are and if we are important? Who are we trying to please and why? I think these are very good thought questions for consideration.
Here are the articles:
~Barbies gone wild here Cinderella Ate my Daughter - Peggy Orenstein's new book on girl culture
~Miss Representation - Jennifer Siebel Newsom's documentary at the Sundance Film Festival. She contends that in our culture a woman's value stems from her looks and her sexuality. She hopes to educate and eventually change the powerful media message and cultural norms regarding a person's worth.
~He Loves Us and We Love Him: You've Memorized it, Now Live it - book by Laurel Christensen

The book emphasizes that no matter what our age (or even gender), as followers of Christ, the values of faith, divine nature, individual worth, knowledge, choice and accountability, good works, integrity, and virtue are still integral to our lives.

"I have a theory that we're all kind of that 13-year-old girl inside, whether we're women in our 30s, 40s or 50s, still wanting to know if our lives have purpose, if Heavenly Father hears our prayers," Christensen said. "These are universal themes. ... Truth is truth. The message is just as appropriate."

What messages are we sending our little girls? More than ever, they are bombarded daily with images and messages of how they should look and what they should achieve or not achieve. How can we help them make sense of it all? How can we help instill in them a sense of self-worth and confidence? They will make decisions in the future based largely on how much they think they are worth. How can we help them have a healthy sense of who they are and decide early on who they want to please?

As I have loved you

Is it fair to say that everyone has been hurt, betrayed, offended, rejected, belittled, forgotten, glossed over, ridiculed, marginalized, made fun of, attacked, put down, not valued, etc. etc. etc.

We’re human after all, right? All relationships have ups and downs. We hurt one another. Sometimes unintentionally, sometimes intentionally. We’re imperfect people and we generally fall into the imperfect people traps of making comparisons, being jealous, coveting, gossiping or criticizing trying to make ourselves feel better, bigger, cooler, smarter, more beautiful, richer, in better shape physically or in better shape spiritually.

We want to be validated and recognized for our strengths and to have our weakness overlooked. We want to stand out from a crowd for the good in us and have others overlook the bad in us. And yet, sometimes we often see only the bad in people, or their weird behaviors, or the less than perfect lives they lead. We don’t give what we except to get from other people.

Have you ever withheld affection? Have you ever not given a compliment or encouragement because you didn’t think the person deserved it? Have you ever hurt someone and then done nothing to make it better, thinking that they deserved what they got? Do you forgive those who trespass against you? How do you do it? Do you hold a grudge? Do you harbor resentment? How do you let go of the hurt and the pain?

As you age and get more experience, are you getting better at treating people with more kindness and respect and in forgiving their shortcomings? Do you see progress year to year in yourself? Do you really do unto others as you would have them do unto you?

Here are some other things I’ve been thinking about…

Forgiveness doesn’t always mean reconciliation.

Cruel words can leave wounds that no amount of apology can fully erase.

If you forgive, can you trust the person again?

If you forgive, can you ever truly forget?

What does forgiveness really mean?

Forgiveness has everything to do with me and very little to do with the offender.

If you let go of the hurt, is that enough?

Are there times when the damage can never be fully repaired?

Can your heart ever feel that same toward the person again?

How do you rebuild trust when it’s been shattered?

Does forgiveness have many levels? If so, is closure one of them?

Will an admission of guilt on the part of the other person heal the pain of a betrayal?

Will an apology change the relationship? Can it ever be what it once was?

Can you tell the difference between a sincere apology and a self-serving one?

What constitutes a proper apology?

Is it OK to steer clear of an offender? If you do, does that mean that you haven’t forgiven them?

Why do we sometimes hurt the ones we love the most?

Why is it so hard to truly love another, especially the ones who are hard to love?

Mystery solved

I thought our dishwasher was broken. From one day to the next it stopped getting the dishes clean. I washed all the glasses by hand to try and get them clean. Now I know why...see this article. Read the article to get tips on what to do to get clean dishes again. I guess I'll be buying vinegar by the barrel. Avoid Cascade, it's the worst. I've been using Cascade for years, but not anymore.

I don't mind recycling and separating our newspapers, plastic, boxes, etc. from the trash.
I don't mind trying to be careful and cautious and conserve water.
I don't litter.
I don't put toxic stuff down the drain.
I try and only use the heat and cooler when necessary.
But this is too much.
I can't stand these dirty, white film coated dishes.
Bring back the phosphate, please!!!!

Get ready, here they come!

Are you looking forward to the Olympics? Which sports to you like to watch the most? Why do you suppose that some athletes listed Park City, Utah as their home? I really doubt that they are from Park City. They probably moved there to train, but really come from Murray, or Nephi, Goshen or Levan or some other state.

2010 U. S. Olympic Team Roster
(As of 2-1-2010)
Subject to Change
U.S. Olympic Team Roster By Sport
Name; Hometown

Biathlon (9)
Women (4)
Lanny Barnes; Durango, Colo.
Haley Johnson; Lake Placid, N.Y.
Laura Spector; Lenox, Mass.
Sara Studebaker; Boise, Idaho
Men (5)
Lowell Bailey; Lake Placid, N.Y.
Tim Burke; Paul Smiths, N.Y.
Jay Hakkinen; Kasilof, Alaska
Wynn Roberts; Battle Lake, Minn.
Jeremy Teela; Heber City, Utah

Bobsled (18)
Women (6)
Emily Azevedo; Chico, Calif.
Elana Meyers; Douglasville, Ga.
Erin Pac; Farmington, Conn.
Shauna Rohbock; Orem, Utah
Michelle Rzepka; Novi, Mich.
Bree Schaaf; Bremerton, Wash.
Men (12)
Chuck Berkeley; Pittsfield, Mass.
Nick Cunningham; Monterey, Calif.
Chris Fogt; Alpine, Utah
Steven Holcomb; Park City, Utah
Mike Kohn; Fairfax, Va.
Steve Langton; Melrose, Mass.
Steve Mesler; Buffalo, N.Y.
Jamie Moriarty; Glencoe, Ill.
John Napier; Lake Placid, N.Y.
Justin Olsen; San Antionio, Texas
Bill Schuffenhauer; Ogden, Utah
Curt Tomasevicz; Shelby, Neb.

Curling (10)
Women (5)
Nicole Joraanstad; Seattle, Wash.
Debbie McCormick; Madison, Wis.
Natalie Nicholson; Bemidji, Minn.
Allison Pottinger; Eden Prairie, Minn.
Tracy Sachtjen; Lodi, Wis.
Men (5)
John Benton; St. Michael, Minn.
Jeff Isaacson; Duluth, Minn.
Chris Plys; Duluth, Minn.
John Shuster; Chisholm, Minn.
Jason Smith; Chisholm, Minn.

Figure Skating (15)
Women (7)
Tanith Belbin; Aston, Pa.
Meryl Davis; West Bloomfield, Mich.
Caydee Denney; Wesley Chapel, Fla.
Amanda Evora; Sugar Land, Texas
Rachael Flatt; Del Mar, Calif.
Mirai Nagasu; Arcadia, Calif.
Emily Samuelson; Novi, Mich.
Men (8)
Jeremy Abbott; Aspen, Colo.
Ben Agosto; Chicago, Ill.
Jeremy Barrett; Venice, Fla.
Evan Bates; Ann Arbor, Mich.
Mark Ladwig; Fargo, N.D./Moorhead, Minn.
Evan Lysacek; Naperville, Ill.
Johnny Weir; Quarryville, Pa.
Charlie White; Bloomfield Hills, Mich.

Ice Hockey (44)
Women (21)
Kacey Bellamy; Westfield, Mass.
Caitlin Cahow; Branford, Conn.
Lisa Chesson; Plainfield, Ill.
Julie Chu; Fairfield, Conn.
Natalie Darwitz; Eagan, Minn.
Meghan Duggan; Danvers, Mass.
Molly Engstrom; Siren, Wis.
Hilary Knight; Hanover, N.H.
Jocelyne Lamoureux; Grand Forks, N.D.
Monique Lamoureux; Grand Forks, N.D.
Erika Lawler; Fitchburg, Mass.
Gigi Marvin; Warroad, Minn.
Brianne McLaughlin; Sheffield Village, Ohio
Jenny Potter; Edina, Minn.
Kelli Stack; Brooklyn Heights, Ohio
Angela Ruggiero; Simi Valley, Calif.
Molly Schaus; Natick, Mass.
Karen Thatcher; Blaine, Wash.
Jessie Vetter; Cottage Grove, Wis.
Kerry Weiland; Palmer, Alaska
Jinelle Zaugg-Siergiej; Eagle River, Wis.
Men (23)
David Backes; Blaine, Minn.
Dustin Brown; Ithaca, N.Y.
Ryan Callahan; Rochester, N.Y.
Chris Drury; Trumbull, Conn.
Erik Johnson; Bloomington, Minn.
Jack Johnson; Indianapolis, Ind.
Patrick Kane; Buffalo, N.Y.
Ryan Kesler; Livonia, Mich.
Phil Kessel; Madison, Wis.
Mike Komisarek; West Islip, N.Y.
Jamie Langenbrunner; Cloquet, Minn.
Ryan Malone; Pittsburgh, Pa.
Paul Martin; Elk River, Minn.
Ryan Miller; East Lansing, Mich.
Brooks Orpik; Amherst, N.Y.
Zach Parise; Prior Lake, Minn.
Joe Pavelski; Plover, Wis.
Jonathan Quick; Hamden, Conn.
Brian Rafalski; Dearborn, Mich.
Bobby Ryan; Cherry Hill, N.J.
Paul Stastny; St. Louis, Mo.
Ryan Suter; Madison, Wis.
Tim Thomas; Flint, Mich.

Luge (10)
Women (3)
Julia Clukey; Augusta, Maine
Erin Hamlin; Remsen, N.Y.
Megan Sweeney; Suffield, Conn.
Men (7)
Tony Benshoof; White Bear Lake, Minn.
Mark Grimmette; Muskegon, Mich.
Dan Joye; Carmel, N.Y.
Brian Martin; Palo Alto, Calif.
Chris Mazdzer; Saranac Lake, N.Y.
Christian Niccum; Woodinville, Wash.
Bengt Walden; Northbridge, Mass.

Skeleton (5)
Women (2)
Noelle Pikus-Pace; Orem, Utah
Katie Uhlaender; Breckenridge, Colo.
Men (3)
Eric Bernotas; Avondale, Pa.
John Daly; Smithtown, N.Y.
Zach Lund; Salt Lake City, Utah

Skiing (59)
Alpine (22)
Women (10)
Stacey Cook; Mammoth Lakes, Calif.
Hailey Duke; Boise, Idaho
Julia Mancuso; Squaw Valley, Calif.
Chelsea Marshall; Pittsfield, Vt.
Megan McJames; Park City, Utah
Alice McKennis; Glenwood Springs, Colo.
Kaylin Richardson; Edina, Minn.
Sarah Schleper; Vail, Colo.
Leanne Smith; Conway, N.H.
Lindsey Vonn; Vail, Colo.
Men (12)
Will Brandenburg; Spokane, Wash.
Jimmy Cochran; Keene, N.H.
Erik Fisher; Middleton, Idaho
Tommy Ford; Bend, Ore.
Tim Jitloff; Reno, Nev.
Nolan Kasper; Warren, Vt.
Ted Ligety; Park City, Utah
Bode Miller; Franconia, N.H.
Steve Nyman; Sundance, Utah
Marco Sullivan; Squaw Valley, Calif.
Andrew Weibrecht; Lake Placid, N.Y.
Jake Zamansky; Aspen, Colo.

Cross Country (11)
Women (5)
Morgan Arritola; Ketchum, Idaho
Holly Brooks; Anchorage, Alaska
Caitlin Compton; Minneapolis, Minn.
Kikkan Randall; Anchorage, Alaska
Liz Stephen; East Montpelier, Vt.
Men (6)
Kris Freeman; Andover, N.H.
Simi Hamilton; Aspen, Colo.
Torin Koos; Leavenworth, Wash.
Garrot Kuzzy; Minneapolis, Minn.
Andy Newell; Shaftsbury, Vt.
James Southam; Anchorage, Alaska

Freestyle (18)
Aerials (8)
Women (4)
Ashley Caldwell; Hamilton, Va.
Emily Cook; Belmont, Mass.
Jana Lindsey; Black Hawk, S.D.
Lacy Schnoor; Draper, Utah
Men (4)
Matt DePeters; Buffalo, N.Y.
Dylan Ferguson; Amesbury, Mass.
Jeret Peterson; Boise, Idaho
Ryan St. Onge; Winter Park, Colo.

Moguls (8)
Women (4)
Shannon Bahrke; Tahoe City, Calif.
Hannah Kearney; Norwich, Vt.
Heather McPhie; Park City, Utah
Michelle Roark; Denver, Colo.
Men (4)
Patrick Deneen; Cle Elum, Wash.
Michael Morse; Duxburry, Mass.
Nate Roberts; Park City, Utah
Bryon Wilson; Park City, Utah

Ski Cross (2)
Men (2)
Casey Puckett; Aspen, Colo.
Daron Rahlves; Sugar Bowl, Calif.

Nordic Combined (5)
Men (5)
Brett Camerota; Park City, Utah
Billy Demong; Vermontville, N.Y.
Taylor Fletcher; Steamboat Springs, Colo.
Todd Lodwick; Steamboat Springs, Colo.
Johnny Spillane; Steamboat Springs, Colo.

Ski Jumping (3)
Men (3)
Nick Alexander; Lebanon, N.H.
Peter Frenette; Saranac Lake, N.Y.
Anders Johnson; Park City, Utah

Snowboarding (18)
Halfpipe (8)
Women (4)
Gretchen Bleiler; Aspen, Colo.
Kelly Clark; Mt. Snow, Vt.
Elena Hight; South Lake Tahoe, Calif.
Hannah Teter; Belmont, Vt.
Men (4)
Greg Bretz; Mammoth Lakes, Calif.
Scotty Lago; Seabrook, N.H.
Louie Vito; Sandy, Utah
Shaun White; Carlsbad, Calif.

Parallel Giant Slalom (3)
Women (1)
Michelle Gorgone; Boston, Mass.
Men (2)
Tyler Jewell; Steamboat Springs, Colo.
Chris Klug; Aspen, Colo.

Snowboardcross (7)
Women (3)
Callan Chythlook-Sifsof; Girdwood, Alaska
Faye Gulini; Salt Lake City, Utah
Lindsey Jacobellis; Stratton Mountain, Vt.
Men (4)
Nick Baumgartner; Iron River, Mich.
Nate Holland; Squaw Valley, Calif.
Graham Watanabe; Sun Valley, Idaho
Seth Wescott; Sugarloaf, Maine

Speedskating (28)
Long Track (18)
Women (9)
Rebekah Bradford; Apple Valley, Minn.
Lauren Cholewinski; York, S.C.
Maria Lamb; River Falls, Wis.
Elli Ochowicz; Hartland, Wis.
Catherine Raney Norman; Elm Grove, Wis.
Heather Richardson; High Point, N.C.
Jennifer Rodriguez; Miami, Fla.
Jilleanne Rookard; Woodhaven, Mich.
Nancy Swider-Peltz, Jr.; Wheaton, Ill.
Men (9)
Ryan Bedford; Midland, Mich.
Shani Davis; Chicago, Ill.
Tucker Fredricks; Janesville, Wis.
Brian Hansen; Glenview, Ill.
Chad Hedrick; Spring, Texas
Jonathan Kuck; Champaign, Ill.
Trevor Marsicano; Ballston Spa, N.Y.
Nick Pearson; West Allis, Wis.
Mitch Whitmore; Waukesha, Wis.

Short Track (10)
Women (5)
Allison Baver; Sinking Spring, Pa.
Kimberly Derrick; Memphis, Tenn.
Alyson Dudek; Hales Corners, Wis.
Lana Gehring; Glenview, Ill.
Katherine Reutter; Champaign, Ill.
Men (5)
J.R. Celski; Federal Way, Wash.
Simon Cho; Baltimore, Md.
Travis Jayner; Midland, Mich.
Jordan Malone; Denton, Texas
Apolo Anton Ohno; Seattle, Wash.

Total Number of U.S. Athletes
Women: 93
Men: 123
Total: 216

From Utah : 18

From our valley: 2

Tis the season for...Christmas movies

Which Christmas movies do you like to watch every year?

Some of my favorites are:

It's a Wonderful Life

Miracle on 34th Street (the old version)

A Charlie Brown Christmas

The Grinch Who Stole Christmas (the cartoon)

A Christmas Story (which can't be duplicated)

Is it really that bad? Part II

Claire is a big fan of the New Yorker magazine. She has shared some articles and copies the magazine with us. I thought this cover was particularly interesting. A picture speaks one thousand words. Click it to enlarge and look at it closely.
There are so many other articles about the adverse effects of television by various outlets, including the internet. I won't even be able to scratch the surface of the research out there about the down side of TV viewing. Some of the most disturbing have to do with the effects on children (here.) to the point of TV being a possible/certain contributor to ADD and ADHD. It's sobering and scary research and it is from the
The Children’s Hospital and Regional Medical Center in Seattle, Washington. The article is entitled
"Early Television Exposure and Subsequent Attentional Problems in Children"
as published in the April 2004 issue of "Pediatrics" by researchers
Dimitri A. Christakis, MD; Frederick J. Zimmerman, PhD; David L. DiGiuseppe, MSc; and Carolyn A. McCarty, PhD. They state that: "Content is immaterial for this study. This study proves that it does not matter what children watch, but the use of the medium of television itself that should be a concern to parents. Even if children are watching so-called "educational" television, the negative effects of TV-viewing can still impact the brain."

There is also the growing body of evidence that proves the fact that we are raising a nation of morons (their word, not mine) pointed out here.

The article points out the TV has caused our culture to accept-

I. Entitlement of Consumption

II. Individual Superiority

III. Acceptance of Stupidity

I think there is a lot of truth to these assertions. What do you think?

Excitement in our valley

Which one do you think is the most exciting thing that has come to our valley recently?

A.

B.

C.

I think Courtney and I will indulge in all three this weekend!

Words of wisdom

When Rick was called to serve at the MTC, we were assigned to serve in a branch that was lead by Ted Lyon. President Lyon is a retired BYU Spanish professor, a former mission president in Chile, a former MTC president in Chile and he and Cheryl are now serving as the temple president and matron of the temple in Chile. We got to be good friends with them. He sends us emails that are always so interesting and thought provoking. What follows are his thoughts on the "nature vs. nurture" theory that I frequently think about (and yes Claire, talk about as well) in regard to raising children. I think he may be on to something here. See what you think...

Dear friends,
I'm not even sure why I am writing this short essay, but it's likely because the thoughts have been dancing around in my head for some time and likely won't leave me in peace until I put them down on paper. Read on if you choose.
Somewhere in the late 50s or early 60s President McKay put forth the statement that "No other success in life can compensate for failure in the home." We liked the concept - we all wanted to be successful in our homes, and see our children achieving success. The statement was repeated often, with some variations (I believe Pres. Harold B. Lee said "The most important work you do will be within the walls of your own home'). As our children came to us, in the 60s and 70s, we truly worked very hard to make this oft-repeated gospel maxim a reality. We held our family home evenings, prayed as a family, read scriptures together frequently, took our children camping, involved them in yard work, assigned them chores around the house and yard, and did all that we knew how to do, to make a successful home. We all tried, hard, often recalling the wise statements of Church leaders as we sacrificed for our families.
In the 1970s I was called to serve on the Church Family Home Evening Writing Committee, creating the lessons that used to come out in a new FHE manual each year. One year, 1975 as I recall, we had completed all the lessons and were just finishing up the details, one of which was editing the introductory preface. This preface was always signed by the First Presidency, and so for their approval we simply submitted the same wording as the previous year. A few days later we got the preface back, and a whole sentence had been crossed out. That sentence, from the ''74 manual, concluded with something like, "And inasmuch as parents hold regular family home evenings we promise that not a single one of their children will go astray" (that may not have been the exact wording, but it's very close). We were told that the sentence should not be included because the First Presidency felt that they would be making a promise that could not be kept. We were told that they had already had many upset parents who had written or talked to them telling that they had held FHE faithfully and they were still "losing" their children. So, that sentence no longer appeared in the new manuals from that point on.
My own wonderful home was quite different from the ideals now wisely encouraged by the Church. We never held a formal home evening; family prayer was a rarity, usually just before 7 of us large boys or men approached the small table (and we grumbled, at least under our breath, about having to kneel, and encouraged the voice to be brief). It was usually Mom who "reminded" Dad to have us kneel on the hard kitchen floor. Only a handful of times did we read scriptures together, and I never recall my parents pushing me to read scriptures on my own count (although after age 16 I often did, just before turning out the light). But we attended Church (not 'together' very often, because Dad was always away, speaking in wards throughout the valley and state). We had lively discussions at the dinner table (that sometimes dealt with Church topics). So, despite all the things we didn't do, I feel that I grew up in very successful home (evidenced by sons serving missions, going to college, getting responsible jobs, and all and always serving in the Church).
Now, I don't think we hear this statement "No other success...." much anymore. I think many in the Church hierarchy have come to realize that it's been a great guilt-feeder, that is, it has made parents feel depressingly guilty for things they really should not, and must not feel guilty about, for things they cannot control. These days we hear a talk by Elder Bednar (ain't he great and creative?) saying express love and show it, bear testimony and live it, and be consistent. He simply said to be more diligent and concerned at home. And my parents certainly did those things. Pres. Uctdorf warns us against worldly pursuits at the expense of family and tells us that "the righteous work we do within the walls of our homes is most sacred" - and to not neglect it. These are the current statements of prophets which we must live by today. I hate to feel guilt created by the actions of others, when I think I have been consistent, have shown as much love as I can, and have tried to live my testimony.
In our BYU honors colloquium the (way too) old argument occasionally came up, over whether our individual nature is determined by (1) genes or (2) environment; the worn out concept of Darwin or Behaviorism, the nature/nurture thing. I believe that our lives, and those of our children are more complex than that simple dichotomy. I came up with my own basis for human nature, that it's made up of at least four sources, or forces: (1) genes, yes they certainly affect our lives, (2) the nurture of home, village, country, etc., (3) the divine nature our individual spirit and 'intelligence' brought with us, and finally (4) self determination and moral will. Perhaps there's more. But the home environment is just one of four powers in this complex picture. I do not think that parents can or should feel guilty for the poor choices (my #4) of their children, who have been privileged with moral agency. Each child is so different in what he or she brings (#3) from another realm. For example, our oldest son recalls a home filled with rules of what he could and could not do; his nearest sibling recalls no rules at all, but rather the joy of parental trust and freedom. What made the difference? Likely the genes and the divine spirit with which each came. I suppose I'm saying that there is so much we don't know about our divine children and how to deal with each. They are morally responsible, and usually make good choices. Some don't, but it's long past time for parents to drop the guilt for actions of children who grew up in a good home (#2), and decided to do other things (#3,# 4, perhaps even #1). And further, adult children change, life isn't set for anyone, forever consigned to outer darkness or failure, at least not until the fat lady sings, or Christ comes quickly.
I'll end here. I hope this has stimulated your thoughts and spirits. Ted L

Expectations

I'm going to assume that everyone has them. Expectations of some sort or another, that is.
What expectations do you have for yourself? What expectations do you have for your family, your children, your spouse, your friends, your employer? What expectations do you have for your career, your future and your happiness? What are you doing to fulfill your own expectations? Do you discuss your expectations with other people, especially those from whom you expect results?
Expectations can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people.

the act or state of looking forward or anticipating

something expected; a thing looked forward to

a prospect of future good or profit

the degree of probability that something will occur

I have a theory that our expectations often dictate the way we talk about and treat one another. Expectations set the stage for who makes the money and who makes the compromises and who makes the dinner. It's a state of mind. It's the way we live, always meeting or not meeting expectations. Unhappiness could be defined as knowing that there is a difference between our talents and abilities and the results in maximizing those talents and in not meeting our own expectations and our own potential.
Here are some thoughts I've had on different kinds of expectations, such as:
Cultural expectations - such at Get up. Show up. Shut up. (Rick and his friend David C. swear by this cultural expectation.) Those who do it generally succeed in life, those who don't usually fail. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Turn the other cheek. Treat everyone how you would like to be treated. Leave your campsite cleaner than you found it. Take out what you brought in.

Low expectations - wherein we don't think people will amount to much (and they usually don't surprise us)

Clear expectations - defining a desired result (do we actually do this or do we expect people to read our minds or just intuitively know what we expect?)

Expectations of other people (what we hope they will do and not do to meet our expectations)

Expectations in your marriage (what we each envision as success, together and individually)

Great expectations (achieve a lofty goal, do something incredible, make a difference in your sphere of influence, leave a place better than you find it)

Expectations of your children (get good grades, make good friends, don't be foolish, go to church, go on a mission, get an education, be a good person, make a difference, make a plan for your life and work towards it, don't just glide along, the choices you make today determine the type of life you will live tomorrow, etc. Are these expectations vocalized and reviewed often?)

Employment expectations for the type of work or job you do for the company (performance evaluations, bottom line, in box - out box, exceeding expectations)

• Treat a man as he is, he will remain so. Treat a man the way he can be and ought to be, and he will become as he can be and should be.

• If you accept the expectations of others, especially negative ones, then you never will change the outcome.

• A master can tell you what he expects of you. A teacher, though awakens your own expectations.

• If we did the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves.

• I'm a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.

I've found that I generally expect a lot of people and of myself. I may actually have too high of expectations in some regards. Since I'm willing to put out, to produce, to support, to friendship and to love then I assume that others are too. I've been horribly disappointed on a few occasions. I believe that we are on earth to accomplish something, not just take up space. I've had crushed expectations and other times I've experienced such joy in meeting or watching someone else meet their own expectations. It's the human experience I guess. I think it's a good exercise to review goals and expectations and to make sure that we are taking more steps forward than backward. I become very frustrated with people who have no plan for themselves or their families and who have no direction. I can't understand it.