Home Alone

I wonder how long it will take me to be comfortable with being home alone.
The first summer after we got married, I worked full-time at a fabric store at the mall and I was never home alone. That fall Rick started graduate school and I started working another job full-time during the day and I was never home alone. Jordan came along when I was still working full-time. I didn't stop working until Rick had a job and we had two children to keep me company. Then I quit my job and I was home, but I wasn't alone. This continued for 27 years.

Last year Andy moved out and went to live in an apartment with his friends. I came home after work in the afternoon to an empty house. I'd be alone for 2-3 hours until Rick got home. It was kind of unnerving. It was so quiet. It was kind of lonely. I had to figure out things to do to keep busy. I really missed my kids. I loved all their activity, their friends, conversations with them and events to attend and frankly, I liked doing stuff for them. It gave me purpose and direction. Tears were shed when they all left, but I've tried to be brave and stay productive. The Empty Nest was/is a hard reality for me to face.

Now it's been almost a year since we've had any kids living in our home. Their bedrooms have all been emptied of their stuff (except for Andy's room.) I've been home alone in the afternoon most days. Sometimes I think of things to do so I don't have to go home alone. It's still so different. I'm not scared, I'm just alone. It's hard to describe. I like to do my own things, but it seems so selfish.

I can't imagine living alone. I know this much - living alone isn't for wimps. Seriously, how do people do it? Thank goodness I have a husband who does come home at night. We love our evenings together and we are enjoying this time when it is just the two of us again.

I just have one question...will it take me 27 years to get use to not having our children in our home?