It seems like every year we struggle with Christmas lights. Can't someone, somewhere PLEASE make a string of Christmas lights that work for more than 10 minutes? I'm sure whoever invents a string of Christmas lights that work consistently would become a millionaire almost instantly. I'd spend a good $100 or more to buy some lights to replace the piece of crap lights we have in a heartbeat. I'd be the first in line with cash in hand. It would make my holidays so much brighter in every way!
We don't ask for much. We don't set our sights too high. We're not perfectionists. We don't measure the distance between each light with a ruler. But here's one problem...the outside lights that we use to put along our roof line (that are bigger bulbs) seem to burn out after working for about two hours. They are as fragile as a spider's web. We no sooner get them up and turned on, then one or more burn out and we have to get back on the roof to replace the bulb. And another problem...if you put more than three strings of lights together, they will inevitably blow a fuse. This happened again this year! We got them all up, stood back to admire, and BAMM, out they all went right before our eyes.
I said a few choice words, Rick yelled out disparaging comments.
Is this any way to begin the holiday season I ask you? I think not.
Oh, and it doesn't end there.
You can't find those little fuses anywhere in the stores to replace the ones you just burned out. The stores stock about five packages of those and they are never available unless you stock up in August. You need three sizes: 1. the little tiny itty bitty ones that you can't even hold on to yet they determine whether your entire tree or garland will light up. 2. the medium size ones that cost $1.00 each that are very hard to find (when Rick dropped two in a row into a flowerbed, let's just way that there wasn't a lot of holiday cheer in the air.) 3. The 'Big Boy' fuses that are needed for the larger strings of lights. Of course they can only be replaced if you can get that stupid little case open to replace them. Could those be any harder to open and close? Help me.
Yeah, not done yet.
The small little lights on the Christmas tree. I swear that if my pre-lit tree ever doesn't pre-light, I'm going to pick it up and throw it out the front door. I hold my breath every year. So far so good, but I have a tree that is only a few years old. One of these years it's going to let me down, I just know it. These lights are a particular annoyance. Usually one little tiny light comes undone and half the set goes out. Then you have to wiggle and touch each light to see which one is at fault. When they are already wound around the branches, this is a trial. Oh, and what about the time when the lights go out on a fully decorated tree....I'm getting the shakes just thinking about it. Just shoot me. Now.
I have great admiration for people who have huge outdoor light displays. I really do. I marvel at their ability to figure it out and not blow up their homes in the process. And to those who have entire Christmas trees that light up year after year, I bow in respect. We called a professional lighting service a few years ago to get an estimate. To do the small amount of exterior lights we do - $350. It would be worth every dime and will be our future when we are no longer able to risk our lives by getting up on the roof.
3 comments:
Hahahahahaha- you are so funny. Every word of what you said it true, sadly. I'll be crossing my fingers for you. . .
Those #$%* lights. What a pain in the rear to put them up. They really dampen the Christmas spirit, at least when you're putting them up. I do admit, however, that they're very pretty to look at, after they're up, and they do represent the Light of the world.
That is great and totally true. I now really feel for people who do their lights with snow. That would put me over the edge.
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