Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Expectations

I'm going to assume that everyone has them. Expectations of some sort or another, that is.
What expectations do you have for yourself? What expectations do you have for your family, your children, your spouse, your friends, your employer? What expectations do you have for your career, your future and your happiness? What are you doing to fulfill your own expectations? Do you discuss your expectations with other people, especially those from whom you expect results?
Expectations can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people.


the act or state of looking forward or anticipating

something expected; a thing looked forward to

a prospect of future good or profit

the degree of probability that something will occur
I have a theory that our expectations often dictate the way we talk about and treat one another. Expectations set the stage for who makes the money and who makes the compromises and who makes the dinner. It's a state of mind. It's the way we live, always meeting or not meeting expectations. Unhappiness could be defined as knowing that there is a difference between our talents and abilities and the results in maximizing those talents and in not meeting our own expectations and our own potential.
Here are some thoughts I've had on different kinds of expectations, such as:
Cultural expectations - such at Get up. Show up. Shut up. (Rick and his friend David C. swear by this cultural expectation.) Those who do it generally succeed in life, those who don't usually fail. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Turn the other cheek. Treat everyone how you would like to be treated. Leave your campsite cleaner than you found it. Take out what you brought in.

Low expectations - wherein we don't think people will amount to much (and they usually don't surprise us)

Clear expectations - defining a desired result (do we actually do this or do we expect people to read our minds or just intuitively know what we expect?)

Expectations of other people (what we hope they will do and not do to meet our expectations)

Expectations in your marriage (what we each envision as success, together and individually)

Great expectations (achieve a lofty goal, do something incredible, make a difference in your sphere of influence, leave a place better than you find it)

Expectations of your children (get good grades, make good friends, don't be foolish, go to church, go on a mission, get an education, be a good person, make a difference, make a plan for your life and work towards it, don't just glide along, the choices you make today determine the type of life you will live tomorrow, etc. Are these expectations vocalized and reviewed often?)

Employment expectations for the type of work or job you do for the company (performance evaluations, bottom line, in box - out box, exceeding expectations)
  • Treat a man as he is, he will remain so. Treat a man the way he can be and ought to be, and he will become as he can be and should be.
  • If you accept the expectations of others, especially negative ones, then you never will change the outcome.
  • A master can tell you what he expects of you. A teacher, though awakens your own expectations.
  • If we did the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves.
  • I'm a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.
I've found that I generally expect a lot of people and of myself. I may actually have too high of expectations in some regards. Since I'm willing to put out, to produce, to support, to friendship and to love then I assume that others are too. I've been horribly disappointed on a few occasions. I believe that we are on earth to accomplish something, not just take up space. I've had crushed expectations and other times I've experienced such joy in meeting or watching someone else meet their own expectations. It's the human experience I guess. I think it's a good exercise to review goals and expectations and to make sure that we are taking more steps forward than backward. I become very frustrated with people who have no plan for themselves or their families and who have no direction. I can't understand it.

1 comment:

VFR said...

Interesting post, Vonnie. I have had my high expectations of marriage fulfilled, and I am so grateful to you for that. I do believe that we need to do things, to achieve, to serve. We also should get up, show up, and shut up. If expectations are low, they are usually achieved, but so are high expectations.