Seeking happiness

The Humble Seeker of Happiness: Finding Joy
(Alma 27:18) "Now was not this exceeding joy? Behold, this is joy which none receiveth save it be the truly penitent and humble seeker of happiness."
Life is not a two-hour movie where life is bliss and challenges are quickly resolved.

• What can we do to find joy in the journey of life?

The opposite of happiness is unhappiness, not depression. Depression, a grave condition that deserves urgent attention, occupies its own category apart from happiness and unhappiness.

I learned that no one but me could make me happy. I couldn’t depend on an outside force, another person or some wonderful circumstance to change my life. I had to change my life and I had to have a plan and get going on that plan.

Positive Psychology as an explicit perspective has existed only since 1998, but enough relevant theory and research now exists concerning what makes life most worth living to fill a book suitable for a semester-long college course. 1

• How does finding balance and maintaining perspective contribute to joy?

Life is like a seesaw or a teeter totter as we use to call them. Teeter totters were a favorite piece of playground equipment until the safety monitors came along and outlawed them. Seesaws also work as a simple example of a mechanical system with two equilibrium positions. One side is stable, while the other is unstable.
Sometimes we’re up and sometimes we’re down. But what I realized is that it’s what is at the center that makes all the difference. It’s the pivot point at the center of the teeter totter that determines if balance will be achieved at the ends of the boards.
What is your anchor or your fulcrum point as your teeter totter goes up and goes down and gives you a thrill or sometimes you even get dropped with a hard handing if the person on the other end abandons you (either on purpose or by accident!)
I can build my center of balance between happy and unhappy events that occur by grounding myself in these ways:
*Attending the temple
*Core beliefs – true conversion
*Believing Christ
*Trust in Heavenly Father and His plan of happiness
*Faith in His Plan for me *Providing service and thinking of others
Alma 7:11:13
11 And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.12 And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.

My 86 year old father-in-law Vern said that it was during the times of trial and unhappiness that he learned the most. He wouldn’t want to repeat those trials, but he wouldn’t want to lose the insight and growth, indeed the comfort and peace that he felt during the hard times to know that a higher power was aware of his struggles and aware of him in all ways possible.

A balanced life usually means finding balance in all the aspects of our lives. Examine the balance in your own life. How are you coming? Are you lop sided and almost tipping over in some areas? Do you neglect some areas and excel in others? Are you taking care of yourself so that you can be happy? Stresses and being unbalanced in many of these areas can diminish the quality and quantity of your happiness. Are you balanced in these areas:
Spiritual – Emotional - Intellectual – Economic – Physical - Social
We are happier when we can take care of ourselves. We need to take care of ourselves first so what we have the energy and ability to take care of others. Don’t ever feel guilty if you are doing something to better balance your life and build your strength in the areas listed above.

We can learn a lot from other cultures. Some seem to have this concept of balance figured out. In the book “Happiness around the world: The paradox of Happy Peasants and Miserable Millionaires” author Carol Graham talks about the “The grumbling rich man may well be less happy than the contented peasant, but he does have a higher standard of living.”
Beyond the necessities of enough food, shelter, heat and clothing, we all rely on relationships and meaningful work to determine our levels of happiness. We can be happy on very little monitarily.

• How does seeking the Lord’s way bring happiness?

As a member of the church of Jesus Christ, I believe and trust that The Lord’s way is the only way that will bring lasting, true happiness to our lives. We’ve been given insight and understanding about who we are and whose we are. We know why we are here, what we are to do and what happens next. We have answers to many of the pressing questions that people through the ages have had in regards to what truly brings happiness. Lasting happiness comes through following the example of Jesus Christ. True, sustainable happiness comes in conducting our lives according to our knowledge of right and wrong. True happiness is a product of knowing that even through our trials, our disappointments, our shortcomings and our unhappy times, that there is something larger and something bigger and better ahead if we just stay the course.

My situation and discovery came much in the same way as another young woman named Melody McGrath as shared in the New Era:

“Could one actually seek happiness? And seek it contritely and humbly? For some reason I had always thought that happiness was some sort of innate gift—you either had it or you didn’t. I had never really considered that in order to be happy, I might have to really put forth an effort. Suddenly I realized that, like any other principle of the gospel, including faith, hope, charity, and mercy, happiness is something that requires work and a measure of self-discipline, as well as divine help, to achieve and maintain.
Of course, misery often seemed like the easier option: it would take much less effort to sit in my room, listen to sad songs, and think about the ways my life is less than perfect. But I realized that, not only was my unhappiness damaging to me and to those who love me, but it was also a rejection of God’s gifts, a rejection of the great plan of happiness. Now when I pray I ask for the Lord’s help in achieving an inner happiness that exists regardless of the trials. I actually tried to be cheerful, to appreciate the many wonderful things about my life and the world in which we live. New Era, June 1996, page 8.