A conundrum

This is a post that I've pondered for a long time. I was hoping to come to some sort of resolution in my mind about the challenge. I haven't. Not completely anyway.
I was reminded of this puzzle or conundrum while watching a movie a month ago that I particularly like called A River Runs Through It.
It's the story of two brothers growing up in Missoula, Montana. One makes good choices and the other does not. It's the age old story of the prodigal son only in this movie, the son who isn't making good choices doesn't come home. The ripple affect of his choices are deeply felt by those people around him who love him.

The conundrum is this (as quoted in various places in the movie):

Jesse: Why is it the people who need the most help... won't take it?

Older Norman: It is those we live with and love and should know who elude us.

Rev. Maclean: Each one of here today will at one time in our lives look upon a loved one who is in need and ask the same question: We are willing help, Lord, but what, if anything, is needed? For it is true we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted. And so it is those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love completely without complete understanding.

It's hard to stand by and see a loved one go down a road that is certain to be fraught with pitfalls and hard times.
It's hard to watch a loved one go through hard times brought on my their own choices.
It's hard to watch a loved one pour their love and attention on strangers and treat those who have loved them the longest and the most completely with indifference and apathy or even scorn.
It's hard to want to help but to have the offer rejected.
It's hard to feel distanced from a loved one when all you want is closeness.
It's hard to offer help and then to be rejected by a loved one who is offended that the help was even offered which caused embarrassment that someone even noticed that a need existed. .
It's hard to love completely someone who has rejected you, especially if that person is a close family member.
It's hard to be treated with indifference.
It's hard to be glossed over and over looked.
It's hard not to be included.
It's hard to be told that you want too much, expect too much when you don't really feel like you do.
It's hard.

I believe that these are some of the most challenging situations in life. The human relations family situations. The situations with people you know well with whom you should have an ongoing loving relationship.

It's so much easier to just withdraw and not deal with them.
It's so much easier to avoid. To be quiet. To give the silent treatment. To give "the look." To talk about them to other people. To judge. To make them out to be the bad guy.

But that doesn't feel right. It isn't right. It isn't the answer.

The answer (as stated above) IS love. It is. It's unconditional love, without fully understanding.
But sometimes it's so very hard to do this. It's so much easier said than done. It takes more strength and determination than a mere moral can summon. It's takes Godly courage and strength. It's takes the intervention of the Lord's atonement. It's takes accessing a power greater than our own. It's takes acknowledging our complete and utter dependence on Him. It's takes turning the burden over to Him.
There really is no other way.

What do you think? Talk to me sometime about this topic if you would like to.