Marriage

Since I posted all the beautiful pictures of happily married couples today and wrote a little about their wedding days, I wanted to share a few random thoughts I have about marriage and about my marriage in particular.
I believe in marriage. I had the tremendous blessing of growing up in a home where my father loved my mother and my mother loved my father. I thought when I was young that most, if not all, marriages were this way. I imagined that love and mutual respect existed in most marital relationships. I thought that most spouses would be concerned with the welfare of their spouse and that he or she would seek out the best in everything for the welfare and comfort of their partner, most times at the expense of their own desires. It wasn't until years later, after observing different relationships and marriages, and in coming to know the experiences of many of those I loved, that I realized that many, many marriages have serious difficulties. I saw the tremendous damage that was caused by infidelity, mistrust, selfishness, pride, not forgiving and lack of respect. I've also seen the devastation caused to children who grew up in homes where their parents didn't love and care for each other. My heart goes out to broken families, unhappy couples and distraught children who don't know where to turn.
In opposition to these heartbreaking stories, I've also seen couples who treat each other with the utmost respect and kindness and couples who are selfless and who sacrifice for the welfare and comfort of each other. I have observed families who are fortunate enough to stay together, who value what they have and who work daily to keep marital bonds strong. And I do believe it takes work. Hard work, daily work and effort to keep the ties that bind strong and immovable. Every couple has to find their way and sort out what kind of marriage they will have. They have to decide what they want in life and decide what their priorities will be, how much time they will devote to which needs, wants and desires and who will fill all the responsibilities. This takes team work. It takes an equal partnership.
My marriage is a partnership. I don't say this to be boastful or to brag, but I say it because that is the way it is. We walk side by side. We each do our part. It's not little me or little him. It's both of us doing our part. Our parts are different and we have different responsibilities in our home and in our marriage. We know our parts and we gladly accept them. We have become two parts of one whole through our 29 years of marriage. Our strengths and weaknesses compliment one another. We aren't whole when we aren't together. However, we aren't perfect. We are still growing and trying to be patient, selfless and giving. We have a goal in sight and we are still working towards that goal.

As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day Saints, I also believe in eternal marriage. I believe that our marriage can endure the test of time. I believe that our marriage is for the very long haul, now and later, for all time. With that goal in mind, with that thought foremost in my heart and mind, I want to do all that I can to keep it vibrant, to keep it grounded, to keep it real. I fall short, but I value what I have and I keep trying because I believe the following statement wholeheartedly from The Family: A Proclamation to the World
Here is a portion from the proclamation:

The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.

The pictures at the top of this post symbolizes these principles to me. One is a picture of the Salt Lake City LDS temple at Christmas time. The other is a picture of our entire family (with four week old little Ellie under her dad's coat.) Because of the temple and all that it represents, because of the temple and the eternal marriages that are performed within, I can have the chance to be with my husband and have our family relationships continue for all time. My children will marry and start their own families and when it's all said and done, it's about me and my husband, our marriage, and what we choose to make of it. Oh, did I mention that I love him dearly? Well, I do.