Good! I got some of you to think about the topic and to comment. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. My niece Jamie put the entry on her blog and got some more comments from people who read her blog. Some agreed and some didn't with the general ideas I presented. That's fine, all comments are welcome.
Obviously, we don't all think the same on this topic or any other. That's as it should be. I think most of us have an opinion about the topic and I think it's interesting to hear what other people think about the topic of clothing and modesty. I was trying to target the LDS woman community mostly, but the topic is broad and has wide application. The vast majority of us pay attention to what we and other people wear. Clothing choices tell a lot about a person. First impression stuff. We draw conclusions. We make judgments, weather good or bad based on those conclusions. Not the "you're not a good person and I hate you because of what you're wearing" kind of judgments, but the "she must be having a bad day and didn't have time to get dressed" or the "she looks really nice and well put together...she cares about her appearance" kind of judgments.
I thought Jamie's blogger friend Desiree put it very well - "As far as how others dress, when I see someone who is modestly dressed and carries herself well, that raises my respect. Whereas if I see the opposite, it's disappointing to me... I admire people who refuse to give in to the temptation to try to dress sexy and show off their bodies."
Years ago my niece Madison said an interesting thing about my daughter-in-law Courtney. We were enjoying a 4th of July family swimming party and Courtney came to the pool in a cute and modest one piece bathing suit. Madi said to me, without any prompt or other dialogue when she saw Courtney: "You can tell a lot about a girl by the swimming suit she wears." When I told Courtney what Madi had said, it made her feel very good. She was being watched by younger cousins and nieces and she was setting a good example for them.
I read an interesting article in Time magazine about reality TV shows (that's a topic for another day.) The author made a very valid point that applies here in regards to body image and dress. He said: "Now even makeover shows have become about sprucing up your psyche...the secret is finding not the right bra size but the right frame of mind, shedding not pounds but psychological baggage." How true that is!!! Our psyches may have more to do with clothing choices than we think. If we're well adjusted and value ourselves, it is reflected in how we feel about our bodies and how we dress.
I thought Jamie's blogger friend Desiree put it very well - "As far as how others dress, when I see someone who is modestly dressed and carries herself well, that raises my respect. Whereas if I see the opposite, it's disappointing to me... I admire people who refuse to give in to the temptation to try to dress sexy and show off their bodies."
Years ago my niece Madison said an interesting thing about my daughter-in-law Courtney. We were enjoying a 4th of July family swimming party and Courtney came to the pool in a cute and modest one piece bathing suit. Madi said to me, without any prompt or other dialogue when she saw Courtney: "You can tell a lot about a girl by the swimming suit she wears." When I told Courtney what Madi had said, it made her feel very good. She was being watched by younger cousins and nieces and she was setting a good example for them.
I read an interesting article in Time magazine about reality TV shows (that's a topic for another day.) The author made a very valid point that applies here in regards to body image and dress. He said: "Now even makeover shows have become about sprucing up your psyche...the secret is finding not the right bra size but the right frame of mind, shedding not pounds but psychological baggage." How true that is!!! Our psyches may have more to do with clothing choices than we think. If we're well adjusted and value ourselves, it is reflected in how we feel about our bodies and how we dress.
I do think it's a good exercise to consider WHY we do what we do when we choose clothing to wear and also consider WHO it is we're trying to impress. Clothing has power. Clothing sends messages and defines who we are at least to the point that people get to know us better. There is a time and place for all types of clothing. I just believe that certain types of clothing should be kept in the proper time and place. As LDS women, we have been given additional wise counsel to consider and to implement if we so choose. We don't need to be self righteous about any of it or be harsh with people who don't make the same choices we do. I already admitted that I'm very disappointed with LDS women who don't uphold the standards of dress as outlined in the Strength of Youth pamphlet which states: Immodest clothing includes short shorts and skirts, tight clothing, shirts that do not cover the stomach, and other revealing attire. (LDS) women should wear clothing that covers the shoulder and avoid clothing that is low-cut in the front or the back or revealing in any other manner. And there is no fine print that says: Except for choosing a bathing suit or a prom dress, then anything is good because it's so hard to find anything that's appropriate.
Those standards have application for all ages and when an LDS woman has been endowed in the temple, I believe the standard is even more important to observe. Even though my respect for a person may rise or fall based on what they're wearing, I can still love the person, just not their choices in clothes! I believe we just need to consider what messages we are trying to communicate by the way we dress.
Those standards have application for all ages and when an LDS woman has been endowed in the temple, I believe the standard is even more important to observe. Even though my respect for a person may rise or fall based on what they're wearing, I can still love the person, just not their choices in clothes! I believe we just need to consider what messages we are trying to communicate by the way we dress.
Speaking of that, take a look at this link to the article about an LDS married woman Bonnie Hubert who chose to wear a modest dress while she competed in her Mrs. Texas competition. She said: "I think the world sends a message that in order to be beautiful you have to reveal your body," said Sister Hubert. "I will say that it takes work, you have to want to live your standards, but you can find clothes that are your style that are modest. "I will not wear a dress that doesn't reflect who I am," she remembers saying. "If I can find something that reflects my standards I can be an example for others.""
I respect the woman, what more can I say?
3 comments:
Perfect commentary, and perfectly accurate commentary, Vonnie. For your audience, which is LDS women, you are dead-on, one hundred per cent accurate, all comments and opinions to the contrary notwithstanding. Way to go!! Thanks very much for the great blog entry.
Yes, my post did set of a firestorm of comments. Oddly enough, since thinking about what you said and the why behind what I do, I've actually lost 2 more pounds without trying. I was just trying to be healthy and take good care of myself. I've also been showering and getting dressed every day. You have no idea what a big step that is. I still agree with you. I think having teen age sons and daughters makes me consider modesty on a different level then a mother who isn't as concerned about what is influencing a younger child. Ironically, I remember wearing a bikini back in the day. I use to say I'll just wear it at home in my own pool. But it didn't take long for that to be in public. I wouldn't wear a bikini now for more than one reason, but you can also bet I will not let my darling daughter wear one! No way! No how!
Jamie,way to go! Good to hear you've made some progress. I do think it's a healthy exercise to examine why we do what we do. If we can get to the core motivations for our actions, sometimes we can change the action if it is something we want to change or need to change. I'm proud of you Jamie!
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