Strenghs can become weaknesses

A month ago, I went to a BYU Women's conference talk given by my cousin Rebecca. She drew her comments heavily from this talk given by Elder Oaks in 1992. “Preventing Strengths from Becoming Our Downfall.” It's a very powerful and interesting talk.
Rebecca did such a great job sharing her own experiences and examples of how to avoid the pitfalls of letting our strengths become our weakness. I've been thinking about it ever since.

Elder Oaks suggests 17 areas in his talk where we might be tempted to let a strength become a weakness:

• Misapplication of Love and Tolerance

• Not Really Following the Prophet

• Materialistic Self-Reliance

• All-Consuming Patriotism

• Inordinate Church Service

• Distorted Faith

• Accomplishment and Pride

• Excesses in Giving

• Neglect or Distortion of Family Duties

• Popular Teachers and the Potential of Priestcraft

• An Intense Focus on Goals

• Social Consciousness Not Tempered by Other Values

• A Desire to Sacrifice More Than Is Needful

• Honors That Sometimes Turn to Our Detriment

• A Desire to Be Led in All Things

• Misapplication of Spiritual Gifts

• Gospel Hobbies

Cousin Rebecca talked specifically about two...not letting love and tolerance produce indifference to truth and justice and not letting a desire to serve excessively overshadow more important responsibilities.

She used the example of how we as mothers love our children. Sometimes our love for them can overshadow our responsibility to teach them, guide them, and to actually parent them as they learn and grow. It is possible to love your children too much? Yes, it is possible if we aren't parenting them, teaching them, guiding them and sometimes saying "no" even if it makes them unhappy. If you are a popular parent who rarely says no, or who doesn't set limits and rules, you aren't doing your children any favors. You're letting your love for them get in the way of what is best for them. You're letting the strength of your love weaken your children if you are unbalanced. They need a parent, not a best friend. We need to find balance between love and guidance and discipline. Granted, it is possible to do both, but sometimes we let our desire to be "liked" by them and to not get into conflicts with them cloud our judgement about what is best for them. If they are always getting their way, something is wrong. Sometimes the children are in charge of the parents. We have to ask ourselves when we're faced with a tough choice that may cause conflict if we say NO - what is right? or is it easiest to just give in? Sometimes we give up and do what is easiest, but it may not be what is BEST for our children.

Rebecca suggested that we pray and ask for help in knowing if some of our strengths are making us weaker and becoming a distraction. She also references this talk given by Elder Oaks on 10/3/2009. It shares a very important message and helped me understand more clearly the importance of love and law.