Happiness is a choice

We had a wonderful Relief Society activity a few weeks ago.   Members of our stake Relief Society presidency came and spoke to us about finding happiness in each phase of our lives.  They had such good advice to share.  Here are some things they said:
Finding happiness while being a young mother

• The joy of motherhood comes in moments.  Write down the funny things you kids say and re-read them often.  Take pictures and look back on your year.  Be aware and grateful for all you have, even in the challenges.
• Don't over schedule yourself and your children (or as least try very hard not to.)  Being overly stressed is a happiness killer.
• Find ways to motivate each child.  Methods will vary.  Find joy in their accomplishments.
• Find time for yourself.  Set a timer and give yourself time to do something you love.  Put your mask on first.  You can't give what you don't have. Trade some responsibilities with your husband to take a break from the daily grind.
• Pray, study and teach the gospel to your children. Write down what thoughts impress you.  Find your inner strength and share your thoughts and feelings and let them know what you value.
• Give yourself credit.  Don't be too hard on yourself.  Celebrate YOUR accomplishments!

Finding happiness while parenting teenagers

•  Stay close to heavenly guidance.  Pray and ponder.  Treat each child according to their needs, strengths and weaknesses. 
• Keep open lines of communication.  Be available when THEY want to talk.  These are some of the sweetest moments.  Help them see how well they are doing.  Their accomplishments bring them and YOU lots of joy.
• Clean their rooms with them, work with them in the yard, have them help you cook, clean and work.  Working with a parent is a great time to talk to teenagers.  They fill better when they contribute to family life and so will you.  Don't do everything for them.  Help them gain confidence by being more and more autonomous.
• Criticism tears teens down, humor goes a long way to lighten the mood.  Be happy and find times to laugh and joke around.  Lighten the mood.
• Give them your TIME.  Much good will come of it.  Building relationships that will last for years ahead.  You are building your future happiness with them.
• Do fun things with them.  Help them find out what they enjoy and do it together.  Fun family times are long remembered and bring much happiness.

Finding happiness while being single

• Appreciate those who are around you.  Value what other women/people do and their talents and experiences.  Ask them questions about themselves.  Get up, Get out.  Don' t wait for other people to invite you.  Take some chances and you'll be surprise how people will respond.
• Find ways to connect with those of similar interests.  Be the one to invite for an outing or to share something you have in common.
• Move ahead in life.  Don't wait until everything is perfect or how you envisioned it would be.  Don't feel sorry for yourself.  You will be much happier and will attract people to you if you don't complain about your single status.  
• Turn to the Lord.  Find comfort in his promises.  Read and study talks specifically to offer suggestions to singles.  Don't label yourself.  If you don't, others won't be as likely to label you either.  
• Show your competitence no matter your marital status.  You don't have to be married to accomplish a lot in life, serve in the church in every capacity and contribute to those around you.  Look for people who need you, don't always be looking for others to fill your needs.
• If you are lonely, step forward and serve.  It is the ONLY answer to help.  If loniless leads to depression, seek help. 
• Think of 5 good things that have happened in your life and review them often.  Train yourself to look at the good in life and be grateful.

Finding happiness later in life

• You now have TIME to do all the things you wanted to do!  Happiness!!
• Look for opportunities to contribute and ways that will bring much fullfillment and happiness:  Mission service, temple work, family history, education week, personal history, institute classes
• You now have more time to devote to children and grandchildren.  Track their birthdays and think of special ways to celebrate with them.  Call.  FaceTime.  Skype.  Take the initiative and stay up on what they are doing.
• Further develop your interests and hobbies
• Travel, near or far, go and see, learn and grow
• Exercise in new and different ways, get up and go
• Find shared interests with a spouse, do more and different things together
• Find ways to contribute as a empty nester parent.  Find the boundaries that work for grown up parent and child.  Much happiness can come with adult children.
• Work or adapting to different circumstances such as illness, decreased mobility, illness in a spouse.  Make adjustments.  Many people who live in the past experience regret.  Others who live in the future experience fear.  Live in the present to experience and FIND joy.
• Find your divine center.  Happiness that is centered on Jesus Christ.  Circumstances may change, but this relationship can remain constant.  Develop a knowledge of and a relationship with our Savior Jesus Christ.  Focus on the love of the Lord and the blessings he give us.