Looking good (or trying to anyway)

I've been completely bald for almost six months now.  Luckily my experience being bald has been through the winter months so that I've been able to wear a lot of hats and scarves and I haven't had to wear my wig every day.  I'll admit that I'm getting tired of being bald and I look forward to my hair coming back.  I'm starting to see some new growth, kind of like peach fuzz, but it's going to take awhile to be able to go hat/wig free.  I suppose my hair is trying to decide if it's safe to come out again!

It is hard to look in the mirror and not see my familiar face and hair.  My skin has been very dry and has gone through various stages of puffy to having rashes and other strange manifestations of the poisons that were/are in my body.  My eyelashes have come out on the bottom of my eyes completely and I have about 10 eyelashes left on the top eyelid.  My eyebrows have really thinned out and have bald patches in them.  I pretty much look like a turtle with a bald head, no eyelashes and big eyes.  I asked Rick to take some pictures of me in this state, just so I can remember how much my appearance has changed.  It is a little disconcerting.

Also, my fingernails are a disaster.  Seven of the ten are coming off.  They are attached at the cuticle line, but from there on out they are unattached to the nail bed and are discolored and looking very bad.  I suppose that as the new fingernail grows in that it will push the dead one off so that it can be cut away.   Yikes!

A few weeks ago I went to my first breast cancer support group meeting.  I was given this assortment of makeup products that is valued at several hundred dollars.  This wonderful organization called "Look good feel better" is helping cancer patients get through the trauma of hair loss and and generally feeling unattractive and beat up by cancer treatments.  Their mission statement goes as follows:  Look good feel better is dedicated to improving the self-esteem and quality of life of people undergoing treatment for cancer.  It is our aim to improve their self-image and appearance through complimentary group, individual and self-help beauty sessions that create a sense of support, confidence, courage and community. A virtual workshop showing how to apply makeup is located here. 


I not only received all of the beauty products seen in the picture, but we were also given handbooks on how to look our best without hair, eyebrows, etc.  Women who are volunteers came and taught the class and were so kind and supportive as they helped us address our different issues. I'm very appreciative of the "look good feel better" organization and all the volunteers and beauty care manufactures who donate their products to women with cancer.  It really is a boost!

I don't have the guts to put up a "before" picture.  The contrast is quite stark...and startling.  I also made an interesting discovery when all my hair was removed...my face is NOT symmetrical.  Far from it.  Oh well! Hooray for compassionate people who are generous with their time, talents and compliments!