Moving forward with faith

It was two years ago today that we got the call in the middle of the night from Jordan telling us that Jacob was in the hospital and that he had something in his brain.  The panic in her voice and the emotional response of receiving the news is still fresh in my mind.  Our lives all changed in that instant.  The ups and downs of the last two years have literally been a roller coaster ride for their little family and for all of us who love them.

I'm not going to lie...this next couple of weeks are going to be hard.  I'm leaving tomorrow to go to AZ to help out Jordan, Jake and their little ones along with Jake's parents.
Jake is headed back into surgery to assess what is going on with his brain tumor and to take measures to make things better if possible. The last MRI was inconclusive, but something is going on near the tumor site.
My heart is heavy for them.  It's hard to watch them suffer and struggle through this ultimate trial. I have my moments of melt downs and then I have to get back up and forge ahead.  That is what they do.  None of us can live in crisis mode for long.  We need to and even want to return to hope, courage, determination, perseverance and moving forward.
I marvel at their courage.  I really do.  Jake keeps doing whatever he can to stay with us.  He is strict with his diet, his wearing of the Optune head device, taking his oral chemo pills and Avastin infusions.  He is doing all he can by undergoing these treatments and procedures that will hopefully lengthen his days.  But all these procedures and drugs are wearing him down.
Jordan keeps getting up in the mornings and putting one foot in front of the other. All this stress and worry is wearing her down.  Together they care for their children and try and live in the moment, enjoying all the time they have together now.  That is a very hard thing to do.  They strive to live in the here and now and not let the future that is unknown and scary take over their present happiness. Somehow this is what they are doing. Some days they are more successful at this goal than over days. But they continue to show faith in Heavenly Father and his plan for them and their family.
The only peace that comes through such times as this is through the Savior.  His atonement has real daily meaning and application.


See Jordan's blog HERE to read her testimony and her love for Jacob.

This talk by Elder Neil L. Anderson gave me great insights about trail of our faith.

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto you.  Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

"Like the intense fire that transforms iron into steel, as we remain faithful during the fiery trial of our faith, we are spiritually refined and strengthened."

Elder D. Tood Christofferson explained what he learned from a personal trial: "Though I suffered then, as I look back now, I am grateful that there was not a quick solution to my problem.  The fact that I was forced to turn to God for help almost daily over an extended period of years taught me truly how to pray and get answers to prayer and taught me a very practical way to have faith in God. I came to know my Savior and my Heavenly Father in a way and to a degree that might not have happened otherwise or that might have taken me much longer to achieve....I learned to trust in the Lord with all my heart.  I learned to walk with Him day by day."

I see this very process happening in the lives of my darling daughter Jordan and her Jacob.  The intense fire of this experience is spiritually refining and strengthening them.  They didn't ask for such a hard experience, they didn't deserve such a hard challenge, but they are facing it and letting the experience strengthen them.  I'm so proud of them for choosing faith and hope.

California dreaming

Life goes on with its ups and downs.
This last week was an up week as Rick and I had the chance to travel to California to spend some time with Andy and Chelsea.  They are doing so well and are loving their lives in LA.
We experienced some firsts for us.  To start out, we took Uber from the airport to their apartment while they were working last Thursday and learned the wonder of this means of transportation.

We attended the beautiful LA temple

and soaked up some lovely weather.

We visited Andy at his office in the UCLA medical center

 and we visited Chelsea in her grad office at UCLA.  

We went to a Korean BBQ with some of their friends
and had a fun evening eating tons of food.

The next day, Rick and I visited the
 Hammer museum
(this was Rick's favorite part of the museum)

Learned more about Armand Hammer
and his impressive art collection

Saw three more Van Goghs

And a Monet and many others 

Saturday morning we hiked to Baldwim Hills Scenic overlook of the city of LA

watched Andy play church ball

Went to Venice beach and took a bike ride

to Santa Monica pier

in perfect weather for biking

enjoying the beach all along the shoreline.

Andy and Chelsea put on their wet suits and got ready
for a dip in the ocean with boggie boards and
 surf boards

on a breath taking time of day...dusk.  We watched the sun go down

Rick went swimming sans a wet suit...cold!

My favorite picture with the seagulls flying overhead, a sail boat, a jet stream,
  the waves crashing on the rocks, a stunning sun set, with our intrepid surfers to the left

Brave souls

Sunday, after church we drove around to see the LA county museum of art with the famous light poles

We drove through Bel Air and Hollywood 

and saw the Chinese Threatre with lots of
movie goers attending Star Wars.

Monday we said goodbye to Andy and Chelsea and Rick left to go home.
Andy drove me to visit my friend Marcy and her husband
Bruce and see their new beautiful home.

Gorgeous!

What a view!

Beautiful home!

Great friends!

My sweet Marcy girl, friends for 43 years since
our freshman years in college at BYU.

It was a great tip, full of adventures.  We appreciated our hosts and loved spending time with them.  We will return!  Until next time.

Goals for 2016

I have to set goals.  They keep me going, motivated and thinking about worthwhile things to do. Maybe goals are so important to me because we learned how to set and achieve goals in the mission field.  Maybe it is because I worked with Young Women for so many years and goal setting was a major part of what we did.  Whatever it is, I'm a happier person if I have some goals in mind.

I know I set some very ambitious goals last year, but that was by design.  I knew I would be retiring from work and I knew I needed to figure out some ways to stay involved in things I enjoy and that I feel make a difference.  I know myself pretty well and I know that I'm happiest when I'm serving others.  Period. For me, a lot of sitting around doing mindless things is a recipe for disaster. Depression can easily set in and by keeping busy with things I enjoy, I can avoid that condition.

Anyway, I achieved most of my goals last year.  This year, I want to finish up the ones I didn't finish and move on to some new ones.  I put them here for my own use and motivation.  I may be the only one who tracks how I am doing, but putting them down here makes me feel more accountable to myself.
So...with that in mind:

Goals for 2016
1.  Finish sewing something for Lauren, Ellie and Margaret.
2.  Attend a sewing class and learn some new techniques.
3.  Start writing my personal history
4.  Lose 16 pounds in '16 (I'm not giving up!)
5.  Sew many of my Christmas presents for 2016
6.  Do some sort of exercise five days a week
7.  Work on improving a Christ like attribute each month
8.  Read the Old Testament, study the Book of Mormon
9.  Visit with or do something for people who have struggles
10.  Read 16 books

Of course I'll keep dejunking my house
Serving on the UVU WSC board
Serving at the MTC
helping my mother
doing things with people I care about
attending the temple
traveling
reading the Ensign
working on our photo albums
gardening
and best of all...spending time with my husband, children and grandchildren

But, I've discovered I have to have my own stuff apart from anyone else.  Having my own life and my own interests, hobbies and service opportunities takes a concerted effort on my part.  It should be an easy thing to do, but for me it isn't.  It feels so self-absorbed.  Retirement is great, but it is work to be happily retired.  I do love being my own boss and coming and going as I please.  I love being available and able to do things with little notice.  I love the spontaneity and ability I have to set up my own day, week and year.  I have to have some sort of human interaction and dialogue every day, but it is up to me to see that that happens.  I have so many blessings and opportunities and I want to take full advantage of all that I have at this point in my life.  Life is good, but it's up to me to keep it going that way.  There are sad things going on, hard things in our family and extended family that make me sad and heartbroken.  Dwelling on the hard and difficult parts of life isn't healthy.  Worrying about those I love and what they are going through can be overwhelming.  I can't help others if I'm not in good shape physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally and financially.  "Put your own life support on first, then help others" they say. It's what I am trying to do.

Blender pancakes

My sister Janet shared this recipe with me years ago.  It is still one of my favorite Saturday morning breakfasts.  It whips up fast and it is so good and is so much better than any mix.  It's also a good way to use your food storage whole wheat and include some whole grains in your diet. Give it a try!

Whole Wheat blender pancakes:
In a blender put
1 cup whole wheat
1 cup milk
Blend for a few minutes
add
1/2 c. oil
2 eggs
1/2 t. salt
1 t. baking powder
Blend all ingredients until smooth, cook on a hot griddle.  Enjoy!

A very happy start to the New Year

On New Year's eve I was looking through Facebook when I noticed a new private message.  I was thrilled beyond words to find out that one of my last missionary converts in Argentina had contacted me!  His name is Gustavo and on the weekend before I left the country to finish my mission, he and his best friend Roque were baptized.  My companion Hermana Stoddard and I taught them the missionary lessons together.  That was over 38 years ago and I haven't heard anything about them...until this New Year's eve.  A message from Gustavo said "I always remember you, always." Oh man, that made my heart about jump through the roof.

Hermana Stoddard, Roque and Gustavo, December 1977

Gustavo and Roque

Gustavo

I can't even explain how happy it made me to know that these two young boys (they were about 15 years old at the time) had gone on to serve missions and that Roque was currently serving as a Bishop in the ward in Santa Fe and that his daughter is currently serving a mission in Peru.  Joy!  Gustavo is currently living in Wales (trying to learn English and find work) and Roque is still in Argentina.  We chatted over instant messenger and shared a lot of catch up information.  Honestly, at the time you serve a mission, you never know if your efforts will change lives and if the people you find to teach and share the gospel with, will continue on actively participating in the church.  It makes me so very happy to know that these two good boys, who are now men, are doing well.  I suspect that Gustavo is currently less active from some of the news he shared, but I'm hopeful he will return to full activity.   The gospel of Jesus Christ changes lives and gives them purpose and meaning.  I'm so delighted to reconnect with two of my favorite converts, through.....Facebook!  Yeah!!  Now I'm in contact with four of my converts and it brings me such joy to still be a part of their lives.