a confession and a question

I don't make my bed. (Don't tell my mother.)
I use to years ago, but I don't anymore.
I just pull the covers up and I'm gone.
We don't go back to our bedroom until we're ready to go to bed at night.
No one sees the unmade bed, not even the owners of the bed.

I don't like making my bed.
And I don't like putting all those pillows and shams on the bed that decorate the bed either.
So I don't do it.
I also don't like bed skirts.
They are such a bother.
They rarely hang right.
They get all hunched up and they usually look bad.

BUT...

We recently got a new mattress, thanks to our niece's husband Adam.
It's a dream to sleep on.
It's very thick and high.
So, I've decided to turn over a new leaf.

My mother just got a new "bed in a bag"so that encouraged me to do better. She chose a beautiful comforter with shams and pillows. She makes her bed every day and it looks great.

I decided to get a new bedspread and some new sheets.
Forget the pillows and the shams.
Forget the dust ruffle.
I think I can handle a bedspread.
I have a thick, heavy comforter for the winter months and now we'll have a light weight, light color bedspread for the summer months.
I plan to tuck it around the pillows the old fashion way.
Maybe I'll be encouraged to make the bed every morning. What are the chances?

So, the question is...which bedspread do you like better?

Choice A with more of a pattern and the color green or Choice B with less pattern and the color purple? Of course our room is still eggplant purple. It has old fashioned WALL PAPER and I still love it.

Exploring themes in Wicked

I keep a little notebook of ideas I came across for my blog. Crazy, I know, but what else can you do when you have too many thoughts running through your head all the time? I've decided that all you can do is just organize them, post them when the time comes and move forward!

I know I've written about one of the themes of Wicked ~ that of being changed for good by friends and family ~ but I wanted to delve into some other themes that resonated with me before I leave Wicked behind for awhile. So here goes:

Was Elphaba's story essentially a tragedy or a triumph? Did she fail at every major endeavor, and thus fail at life, or because she refused to give up or change to suit the opinions of others, was her life a success? I think her life was a success because she was true to herself at all costs.

Did Elphaba's determination and willfulness lend purpose and order to her even though she was such a strong character. At what price?

I think one of the main themes of Wicked is about friendship. Early in the show, there's a song about Glinda and Elphaba loathing each other. The girls become friends as expressed in "Popular," when Glinda tries to give her new green roommate a makeover. In the middle of the show they part ways and even fight. But at the end they sing "For Good" together. Their relationship evolves through time. I think many relationships are like this and there is a strong message about being tolerant of differences and about looking for the good in a person that you would otherwise loath or one with whom you have little in common.

The play also helps the audience look at a familiar story or characters from a different point of view, and thus reveal that life is not as simple or as black-and-white as we tend to think. That and the fact that I have always been interested in stories of people who are perceived as "different" and feel themselves alienated from "normal" society. How do "we" react to someone who is different? The Munchkins in the play judge Elphaba to be limited and different and eventually "wicked" which was not the truth at all.

Another theme of Wicked is a statement about authority or esteemed figures, and how they are not always as wonderful and truthful as everyone thinks they are. This theme applies to the Wizard, and Glinda. The Wizard uses dishonest ways to gain popularity as a political figure. Glinda seems like she is the image of good, when she really hasn't done the right thing, but the notorious figure, The Witch (Elphaba) has. This point illustrates the fact that we really shouldn't judge other people because we don't always know everything about them and we often don't know their true motives and desires.

Another theme is on how the public accepts or rejects things. One song, Wonderful, explores how a society reveres the title of a person. The song says, " Is one a crusader / or a ruthless invader / is a rich man a thief / or a philanthropist? / It's all in which label / is able to persist!" this passage is saying that a person is only seen by the public as whatever label can be put to them.

And yet another notable theme is the theme on physical beauty. This theme is very subtle, showing up only in a few spots. In the song popular, Galinda give 'Elphie' a make over, and Elphaba is startled at what she sees, at she has always thought herself to be too different to be beautiful. I think that what is being said here is that the different are more beautiful because they are different. Another point at which this theme is displayed is when Elphaba says she wishes she could be beautiful for Fyiero. He says that she is, that he is just looking at things in a different way. When Fyiero becomes a scarecrow, they have the same conversation, but switching persons. This is saying that the different are beautiful, in a different way. Beauty truly is in the eyes of the beholder.

And the final theme is about whether trying to help people is even worth the effort. Wicked explores the the consequences of offering help and service in several different situations. At one point, Elphaba asks if kindness is really only people seeking attention. She had tried to help various people and in each instance the outcome hasn't what she intended. She sings:

What good is this chanting?

I don't even know what I'm reading!

I don't even know what trick I ought to try

Fiyero, where are you?

Already dead, or bleeding?

One more disaster I can add to my

Generous supply?

No good deed goes unpunished

No act of charity goes unresented

No good deed goes unpunished

That's my new creed

My road of good intentions

Led where such roads always lead

No good deed

Goes unpunished!

Nessa

Doctor Dillamond

Fiyero

Fiyero!!

One question haunts and hurts

Too much, too much to mention

Was I really seeking good

Or just seeking attention?

Is that all good deeds are

When looked at with an ice-cold eye?

If that's all good deeds are

Maybe that's the reason why

No good deed goes unpunished

All helpful urges should be circumvented

No good deed goes unpunished

Sure, I meant well -Well, look at what well-meant did

All right, enough - so be it

So be it, then

Let all Oz be agreed

I'm wicked through and through

Since I can not succeed Fiyero, saving you

I promise no good deed

Will I attempt to do again

Ever again

No good deed

Will I do again!

I can really relate to this last theme. In my life I've tried on many occasions to be helpful to people because I sincerely care about them. Many of my efforts have had wonderful outcomes but some have had disastrous outcomes. I've examined my motives for offering help and find that they were pure. I can empathize with Elphaba's feeling of never wanting to try to help anyone again. The disastrous outcomes have been so personally painful because generally the person being offered assistance rejects the assistance and they reject the giver of the assistance even more. Sure I meant well, well look at what well-meant did. It's generally obvious to everyone around the person in need that they need assistance, but they reject all attempts to be sincerely helped. Why is that? Are they embarrassed that someone noticed that they need help or that they are struggling? Do they not want to admit that they need help? Is it pride? Maybe they really don't need help. Maybe they are independent and don't want outside interference and they will find their own way alone, even if it is harder. Should one only offer help when it is specifically requested? Is is really true that no act of charity goes unresented? Should all helpful urges be circumvented? Is it true that no good deed goes unpunished?

Family Obesity

So...

Two weeks ago I was involved in a conference that our office hosted on family obesity. Seven leading scholars came from prestigious eastern universities to join with five of our faculty to discuss the social implications of obesity on family life. It was fascinating! My capable assistant Bryan and I were in charge of making the conference happen under the direction of the conference committee. We picked up the visitors from the airport (yes, we were the dorky ones standing there with the name signs) and drove them to Sundance resort, the location of the three day conference. The weather couldn't have been better. In addition to the meetings, we took our guests on a short hike along the trail to Timp and they thoroughly enjoyed the location for the conference. Six of the seven had never been to Utah before and they were stunned by the beauty of the place and the setting of our campus. I realized once again how much we take for granted living in this beautiful location. We had our wrap up session in the new Hinckley building and it was a great place to conclude the conference. It was interesting to answer the questions of our guests about the state, the valley, the university and our religion.

Each of the 12 presenters took some time to present their research on the topic of family obesity. I now know more about the reasons behind the obesity epidemic that I ever thought possible. Twelve different perspectives on various topics were presented by professors in social work, economics, sociology, psychology, public policy, dietetics, marriage, family and human development, human movement sciences, marriage and family therapy and family medical and community health. They pretty much left no stone unturned. Bryan and I took notes on their presentation on a lap top and we also recorded the sessions with a camcorder. They will reassemble next year and share their research with the campus community and eventually they will publish their findings. The goal is to raise awareness of the social implications of obesity and to try make a difference in the fight against this epedimic.

It would be impossible to share all I learned, but I want to share a few interesting points from off the top of my head:

• the American culture has been hit by an obesity epidemic in the last 30-35 years...basically in one generation
• the long term health implications are staggering
• the causes are many but basically boil down to a couple of things - we're not moving enough and we're eating the wrong food
• BMI - body mass index is a fairly good measure of fitness, but not the only measure that should be considered
• obesity rates among children are skyrocketing. Even many infants are overweight. These trends have huge implications for future generations and for the medical services needed now and in the future.
• Obesity causes a range of health problems, most notably Type 2 diabetes, coronary problems, asthma and breathing problems and many social problems
• Obesity causes a loss of self esteem and causes feelings of self loathing
• Overweight people are often treated with disdain by others and are thought to have little if any self control
• Glossy magazines do more harm than good and present an inaccurate image of what the human body should look like
• our culture puts too much emphasis on looks and appearance and perfect body proportions which can't be achieved by the vast majority of the population
• Obesity is caused by environmental factors, inactivity, personal choices and by genetics
• Two of the main culprits in causing this epidemic are too much screen time (which includes TV, computers and the Internet, video gaming, texting, cell phones) while sitting around and not getting outdoors to exercise, work, play and just move. The second culprit is that we have changed the way we eat. It's all about fast and convenient now.
• fewer and fewer families eat dinner together. (this topic was mentioned repeatedly by many of the presenters.) With more women working out of the home, families are turning to fast food and frozen food to feed their families. They don't have time or knowledge on how to cook a meal from scratch anymore.
• the family dinner hour is very important for a myriad of reasons, not the least of which is simply serving the family healthy foods and watching what and how much is consumed by individual members
• families in the inner city don't have easy access to grocery stores. They buy their food from convenience stores and fast food establishments.
• it's cheaper to eat healthy foods than to eat convenience, pre-packaged and fast foods
• obese people become more isolated as they age. They generally don't like to go out and it is harder for them to literally fit into chairs, movie theater seats and such. So they stay home and watch TV and eat to comfort themselves.
• Who is going to take care of obese parents when quite often obese children in the same family have their own health issues to deal with?
• Obese people live shorter, poorer quality lives
• large girls will often sell themselves short on their goals for life and the future because of poor self image. They do not think they can control anything in their lives, so they settle for less because they think that is all they deserve.
• most people give up too early on trying to lose weight. Being successful takes time and dedication and a complete change of eating habits for life.
• some girls and women will resort to drastic measures to get to the ideal size for important occasions in their lives such as prom, quinceanos, weddings and graduations ceremonies. They will often resort to extreme measures to lose weight and then become dependent on those measure to continue to look acceptable.
• Too much emphasis on eating quantities (either small or large) can lead to eating disorders. Sometimes children with obese parents get caught in eating disorders because they don't want to end up like their parents.

The list could go on and on, but I think you get the idea.

The goal should be to find your individual best weight with the help of a professional (doctor if necessary) and then to come up with a program to maintain that healthy weight. Some ideas to consider:

• turn off the TV and get moving by walking at least a half hour a day. Limit screen time and replace it with other activities that will promote movement and exercise. (I totally agree with this important step because I am NOT a fan of TV...but that's a topic for another day.)
• shop around the edges of the grocery store, purchasing the real food items like dairy, meat, bread, fresh fruits and vegetables. Avoid as much packaged food as possible.
• establish a family dinner hour. (I have a testimony of this one :) Serve real food and enlist the help of all family members to prepare, serve and clean up the meal. This time fosters good communication and bonding time for the family. The statistics of children who avoid drugs and other anti-social behavior is HUGE - all based on who has a family dinner hour and who doesn't.
• if your family has bad eating habits, work on a plan to change those habits as a family.
• introduce new food into the family menus and keep trying to eat a variety of fresh fruits and vegetables
• introduce children to participating in sports teams. Be careful not to overwhelm the family schedule with these activities, but get the kids moving and find something that they love to do
• find a life sport that you enjoy and can do for the rest of your life. Enlist friends and family members to join you. Group activities are so much more fun than an individual fitness program. You're much more likely to achieve success with exercise if you have a buddy.
• Drink water. Lose the soda. All the additives in soda are causing people to get fat, especially the diet types. Ironic but true.
• Women generally buy the food, so they need some education on what to buy, how to store it and how to prepare it. Education is key to successfully feeding a family a healthy diet, but everyone should be responsible to learn and follow healthy eating practices.
• Teach children healthy eating habits from early in life. It's a lot easier to prevent weight gain than to initiate and sustain weight loss.
• Consider quality of life issues as an overweight person and a normal weight person. You'll still be living, but under what circumstances and restraints? Which type of life do you want for yourself and your family?
• We have to MOVE and we have to BE CONSCIENCE of every bite we consume, especially as we age. Portion control become a must as weight begins to accumulate.

Check out this video and this video on the BBC to illustrate the point.

And what did we eat at the conference? Lots of good healthy food! Sundance food is amazing.

What are your thoughts on this topic and what to you do to maintain a healthy lifestyle? How can we help each other?

First stake in Mongolia!

The first stake in Mongolia was created on Sunday from the Mongolia Ulaabaatar District. The new stake does not include all the branches in the district and a new district was created on the same day for branches in the eastern part of the city, named the Ulaabaatar Mongolia East District. I follow this blog about growth in the church and found this interesting information.

Growth has increased in the past year or so in Mongolia, with missionaries indicating that the mission has recently broke previous records for convert baptisms in a month and Church attendance. Most of the members live in Ulaabaatar (the capital) or in the Darkhan Mongolia District which is to the north of Ulaabaatar. Missionaries have reported that branches in the isolated towns of Choibalsan, Erdenet and Hovd have grown to around 150-200, making it likely for more congregations to be organized considering branches typically have 50-100 or so active members.

Mongolia is the country with the second most members without a stake. Nearly 10% of Mongolian members have served missions and membership stands at around 8,400. The vast majority of Mongolians are Buddhist. Not all of the dozen or so branches in Ulaanbaatar will be part of the new stake in the capital. Another district already exists in Mongolia in Darkhan.

Membership has not increased as rapidly as it did in 2008 in Mongolia since 2004, growing by 9.36% last year. A couple mission branches not a part of a district also exist in Khovd and Choibalsan, each of which have been steadily growing to 150-200 attending sacrament meeting every week. One of the challenges the Church in Mongolia has had in the creation of a stake has been that 70% of the members are single (according to an article published in the Church magazine the Ensign a year or two ago).

One interesting note about members who have served as missionaries from Mongolia and received their Patriarchal blessings in other countries where there are stakes and patriarchs: All but the tribe of Zebulun have been found among the declared lineage of Mongolia missionaries (as of December 2003). For more information, visit this link to learn more about the gathering of the Lost Tribes. It's facinating! How exciting for Elder Andy to be a part of this important service and work among the Mongolian people. He loves his mission and the wonderful people in Mongolia.

The Fee Gees

So tonight was the first concert of the SCERA season and it was fun. The Stayin Alive Tribute band to the Bee Gees was great (hence the FAKE Bee Gees.) We enjoyed all the old favorite disco songs. I remember dancing my guts out to those disco songs in the late 70s. They did a bunch of Bee Gees songs and some that they wrote for their little brother Andy Gibb. Remember how DARLING Andy Gibb was? In fact I remember taking my little sister Lee to the Salt Palace to see him in concert. Remember that Lee? Check out their web site here for a walk down memory lane. Oh, and just try to NOT dance while you're listening to these great videos. You should be dancing, ya!!! Sooooo funny!





Lee...this one's for YOU!!! Although, sadly, he passed away when he was only 30 years old.