Fit for the Kingdom

I just came across this interesting group of films today entitled "Fit for the Kingdom." They give a little unedited glimpse of life in a Mormon environment. They feature short documentary films on the lives of everyday members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I haven't watched them all, but the ones I have watched are insightful. Some of you will be very interested in the films entitled "Lorien" and "Lloya." There is also a quick guest appearance by someone Courtney will be very interesting in seeing in the one entitled "Girls' Camp." Who knew that our friends were so much more than movie stars?

A good time was had by all

Thursday - Rick and I took an afternoon flight to see R and Claire, wheat bread making demo for the Mia Maids in the evening for mutual at C&R's home, R and Rick had some bonding time

Friday - temple attendance, lunch with R and Keith and Lorie, some of our dear friends from college days who live in town (Claire was at work), evening games and ice cream with Rick's cousin and his family (he is also R and Claire's stake president)

Saturday - the guys played tennis and went running , and Claire and I went to the ice skating show of "HSM." This quote from Rick "Keith, on hearing about that asked if it wasn't gay enough as a play or movie, why did they have to make it more so by putting it on ice. Nice point." We didn't invite the guys to go and we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves! BYU basketball game that afternoon. Claire and R invited 50 of their BYU friends to attend, so we had a good group. The game was fun. Dinner at a great local restaurant and then two Netfliks movies back at their home.

Sunday - chilling out, reading and chatting, church, lovely dinner prepared by Claire, watched tennis, watched football, played Scattergories. Claire showed me how to operate my new camera which is a lot like hers.

Monday - R to work, the rest of us to play tennis. I played Claire and Rick played a man in their ward who wanted to get in on the action. I'm proud to report that I won two games out of about 10 against Claire (who is very good at tennis), so I feel pretty good about that! We played some doubles with the guys and had a good match. We did errands with Claire, helped her with some home projects and went to a movie (Last Chance Harvey - which we enjoyed) before heading to the airport. Got home to the FREEZING house.

It was a very fun and relaxing weekend. It was 60 degrees in the day and not that cold at night. We love visiting R and Claire and we enjoy every minute of our time together!

It's cold ouside (and inside)

Have you ever wondered how cold it would get in your house if your furnace didn't work? Well, we now have the answer to that question in our home. We came home last night from a four day trip to visit Claire and R. The minute we walked into the house I could tell that the heater hasn't on. It was probably off most of the time we were gone. The atomic clock thermometer registered at 43 degrees in our bedroom last night. Luckily we have a small electric space heater, so we turned that on all night and put more blankets on the bed. This morning when we woke up it registered at 63 degrees. Those twenty degrees made a huge difference!
This morning, it was 9 degrees outside. I went upstairs to try again and see if the furnace would start. Nothing. I could see my breath in Claire's room, the coldest room in the house. I'm sure it was around 36 degrees in there. We called the furnace repair guy and he came right away. It took him 15 minutes to replace a small fuse in the furnace electrical box. $168. A large price to pay for a small service, but a small price to pay for heat. Has something like this ever happened to you?

Baby Books

This year for Christmas I finally gave our kids their own baby books. I started a baby book for them when they were born and I actually recorded a bunch of information about their growth and experiences in each book. Then the years went by and pictures were taken out of the books for various reasons and they kind of fell in to disrepair. The pictures were scattered and disorganized. I spent some time this fall working on this project and it has taken me hours and hours to get it done. I reassembled each book with the new little glue dots that are now available and found most of the pictures that had been taken out. My friend, who makes her own paper and books from scratch, did some repair work on the bindings and got them back into great shape. I then took the books to Kinkos and made a color-copied book for Rick and me to keep. Then I gave our children their books for a Christmas gift, along with a separate photo book of about 100 or so of the other loose pictures I had of them. Now they finally have pictures of themselves in their childhood and youth to keep in their own homes, and we have a copy as well. Joy!
I also spent some time getting our family history book caught up from the years 2005, 2006 and 2007. Everyone cooperated and submitted their own family or personal written history along with some pictures and I got those books complied and bound as well. Everyone got a copy, so hopefully everyone will enjoy that slice of their own personal history as well.
It's been a great project to work on and I've enjoyed going through all the pictures and remembering so many wonderful days gone by. I love my family!

The Empty Nest

The Empty Nest - a book review
Claire gave me this book last year for my birthday. I've really enjoyed reading it. It's been helpful to be reminded that I'm not alone in my feelings of missing my children. The thing that's hard is not only the experience of trying to get accustomed to having our children out of the house, but also deciding what to do with myself now that they are gone. The book has been listed on my blog bookshelf for some time now. I finished it long ago, so I thought I'd give it a shout out today. It is a compilation of articles from 31 different parents. It's amazing to see how many people have similar feelings about the Empty Nest, even though their circumstances vary greatly. Here are some of my favorite quotes that express sentiments similar to my own:

#1 - I use to be the preferred one for my children and I miss that feeling. But, what was I thinking...that they would stay attached to me forever...ah maybe...well not attached, just in love with me.Yes, they do love me, it is just the definition of love keeps changing... I thought it meant chatting and spending time together. But then again, when I was in my twenties and thirties, I did’t chat and spend that much time with my folks.
So here it is... “get over yourself, mother”... that is what I tell myself... I am so much more than a mother, but I needed them to kick me out of the house so to speak.
#2 - The insidious thing about Sarah leaving is how subtly the balance tipped - how we endorsed the inevitable without realizing it. We taught her to flee, didn't we? We took her places and showed her the world beyond the safety of her crib. We encouraged her to take a look around, and once she's gone I will have lots of time to wonder why we didn't stick to the neighborhood, where we might have successfully raised a kid who never wanted to be more than a zip code away. We cannot hold Sarah back, and who would want to? Sarah leaving is a work in progress -- and leaving really is the wrong word, since it implies an absolute state, either here or gone, and she is not that. She will never be gone, no matter where she is, because feelings, because family, survive circumstance. Sarah is our girl, always. I might be able to put the sad moments in their place, and to be glad that my happy child wants to stay at the party, whatever the party is, for just a little while longer. Love like this requires faith.
#3 - It's not simply the loss of these particular people, living here day in , day out, the bickering, the inside jokes, the cereal bowls in the sink, and the towels in the hamper - all right, on the floor. It was who I was when I was with them: the general to their battalion, the president to their cabinet. Sometimes I just go into their rooms and just stand, touching their books, looking out their windows. "The shrine" the youngest says derisively. Three empty rooms, full of the ghosts of my very best self. Mom is my real name. It is, it is.
#4 - Mothering understood that separation is the destiny of mother and child, and it is the mother's job to remember this -- for the child's sake. Mothering knew that you have to raise your children to go away, or else you've failed utterly.
#5 - Never forget where you came from. One thing about having an empty nest, is that I have had time to think more about my own parents and about my departure a lifetime ago. I was so indifferent to what they went through. I put all my energy into separating myself from them as far as possible, both physically and emotionally because I was an adult and anxious to prove that fact. It wasn't until I became a parent myself that my roots began to matter to me - and my parents' struggles after I left became more understandable. We can't go back an undo the past, but we can learn from it.
#6 - After Darrah left, a particular engine of self began to rumble and move - the one that travels through time. I find that I feel much younger and distinctly older than I did before, and in ways I never could have predicted. Looking back, I think that this abrupt entry into a new life stage was like a cage door swinging open for a zoo animal: I didn't immediately realize that I was free...I began to experience an odd sense of lightness. It was as though springtime had entered by brain and body. It was the bodied experience of youth....I'm referring to feeling young in the specific way I did as an adult in my twenties and thirties, before becoming a mother. Back then, I had the relative luxury of obsessing about just one person - Me. I'd just spent 20 years reeling with the worries, plans and daily concerns of another human being and now she was launched into her own realm. I would always love her and be concerned about her, but I did not have the power to guarantee her happiness or well-being. That was up to her now and that recognition gave me an enormous sense of freedom.

There is a lot written on dealing with the Empty Nest on the internet. Here is a sample:



7 ways to Vanquish the Empty Nest Blues see this article

Plan Ahead
The Importance of Friends
Rekindle Romance
Rekindle Friendships
Volunteer
Nurture Your Extended Family
Explore Your own Talents and Abilities

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