Guests at our table

I guess it's not exactly a news flash that I like to entertain. I like to invite people over to enjoy a meal, some laughs and good conversation. I like to cook and to set a table. Any time you're in our area, let me know and I'll cook up a meal for you!
Since we finished the remodel, we've had a bunch of family and friends come through for a visit. We've also had some lovely Sunday dinners with Andy's friends and we have a dinner coming up with Rick's family and later with some of our friends. It's so nice to have the extra space, extra seating capacity and to have the room looking lovely. I'm really happy with the ability the remodel gives us to entertain larger groups of people. I might need some more dishes though...
We enjoyed a lovely fall day with my two sisters Lee and Carol and my niece Jamie and their families last month. We enjoyed a hike to Stewart falls, some outside games, pumpkin carving and good food and fun. We loved having them come and hope they'll come again soon!

2 to 5

Well, they passed it with a vote of 5 "for" and 2 "against." Orem is going to get a Center for Story and Arts at the Orem City Library, 8 blocks away from the SCERA Center for the Arts. Go figure. I don't get it, really I don't. Since I wrote this letter, I've been attending many meetings and talking with city council members who were open to discussion, trying to understand their perspective. It seems ill advised to me. These are the burning questions I have:

~Why build what amounts to a city auditorium with CARE tax dollars which were designated for the arts, parks and recreation? It will be used for some arts purposes, but will be used for many community meetings and events as well. Why not get other tax dollars to build this auditorium and leave the CARE funding (approximately $2,000,000) for the purpose for which it was designed?
~Why build a brick and mortar building to benefit what has become a non-profit organization (the Storytelling festival) when the city leaders can't authorize any buildings for other non-profits? This seems extremely unfair and self serving. It appears that the city council is approving of and giving themselves a building. If the new building isn't primarily for the "Center for Story," then don't call it by that name. The relationship between the library and the Storytelling festival has become so entwined that it is hard to keep track of who does what and who is driving this operation. Money talks and that is evident by the treatment that Karen Ashton receives. The rich get what they want if they push hard enough, long enough.
~How will they control content (in a very conservative community) in a government building?
~Even if there is room to build this structure next to the Orem City Library (in the front along State Street), there is absolutely no parking available. There isn't enough parking as it is for library patrons. They claim that they won't have to remove little league ball fields to accommodate parking. We'll see about that.
~The auditorium will have approximately 380 fixed seats, with a balcony of 100 seats and an area to set up more folding chairs to reach about 500 seats on the main level. That's a large auditorium. When built, the library staff and city leaders will feel a pressing need to use it. As more and more free events are offered at the library, there is the very real outcome that people will get their arts "fix" at the library for free and not want to pay for more arts entertainment down the street. Mayor Washburn doesn't see this as a problem. I totally disagree. Since no impact study was done, they're just building buildings on assumptions and guesses, assuming that is won't harm existing organizations. They're taking a big gamble on that belief. I believe it really could put SCERA out of business over time.
~Why not better utilize what we have and cooperate more with the existing arts organizations to maximize what is going on in our community? Librarian Louise Wallace stated that they will cooperate with existing organizations to support one another. Really? Based on what history? The Orem library staff has an abysmal record of cooperating and coordinating with existing arts organizations (with the exception of the Storytelling Festival.) They're in it for themselves.
~They intend to staff this new center with librarians and volunteers. They intent to clean it with volunteers and some staff support. They are claiming that general fund dollars will be kept to a minimum and that CARE dollars will be used to support the center in the future. An important part of this puzzle is that CARE dollars were approved by the tax paying community for 8 years. Four years have gone by. In four more years, the CARE tax will go back to the taxpayers for approval. They may or may not pass the CARE tax again. Given our current economic climate, I have my doubts that it will pass (unless the economy improves drastically.) They're banking on supporting a center in the future when that future funding is not a certainty. To me, that isn't a wise move.

I'm not against the Storytelling organization. I am against them getting preferential treatment. I'm not against the Orem City Library. I am against them seizing control of the arts in our city when that is not their main purpose. I'm not personally against the four council members and the Mayor who voted for this center, but I'm not going to vote for them again. I am highly in favor of Council members Mary Street and Brent Sumner. They asked some hard questions (which were never fully answered) and they stood their ground. I just don't think the City of Orem should have commited hundreds of thousands of dollars now (with millions of dollars at stake down the road) to a project when there are many pressing questions that are still on the table.

V IV

We got to spend the WHOLE day with Dave as he celebrated his 26th birthday last Friday! He had just taken his last test of the trimester and he was free the whole day. It was wonderful to be with him and Courtney and just hang out and visit. We had a sleepover at their apartment, toured ASU (wow, what a huge and beautiful campus) and saw where he does what he does, hung out with Jordan and the girls and went to dinner at a wonderful Mexican restaurant. Happy Birthday dear Dave. Here's some of the things I love about YOU:
1. You're so even tempered.
2. You're so kind and easy to be around.
3. You remind me of my brother Paul in so many ways.
4. You're a great husband, son, brother-in-law, brother and uncle. Everyone loves you.
5. You're helpful and fun to be around.
6. You're a great conversationalist. You know a lot about a lot of things.
7. You're very smart as everyone knows. You set the standard and you work hard to maintain it.
8. You have a great sense of humor.
9. You have great curly hair and you will NEVER go bald (not that that's bad...)
10. You're dependable and serve well in the church.
11. You're a true BYU Cougar fan and can transform and show your aggressive side when needed.
12. You're a carbon copy of V III in so many ways.
13. You're a good friend. I've always loved your friends - in grade school, high school and college.
14. Your nieces and nephews adore you. That says a lot about a man.
15. You get math, boy to you get math.
16. You served a mission in Portugal honorably. It wasn't an easy mission, but you served with distinction and you were a great leader and example to others.
17. You can do hard things. You may not like to do hard things, but you've proven that you can.
18. You chose a wonderful woman to marry. We're so happy for you and Courtney to be a team.
19. You're self confident and believe in yourself.
20. You're very handsome with a great smile.
21. You're working hard to be prepared to provide for your family by getting your MBA.
22. You're have proven yourself on the job. Your employers can count on you.
23. You have a strong testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ and you live your life according to your beliefs.
24. You're a dear son and we love to spend time with you. You're so fun and easy to be around.
25. You're a strong link in the chain. V, V II, V III are all proud of you and the way you live your life and carry their name.
26. Your mom loves you a lot and misses you living near us, and hopes that you'll return some day!

To see more pictures of Dave, look here.

Seasons of our lives

This is how I figure it:

Spring, ages 0-25

Summer, ages 25-50

Fall, ages 50-75

Winter, ages 75-100

(This is how it looks in Provo right now. Snow in the mountains and beautiful fall colors in the valleys. Winter, here we come.)

Rick and I were talking about this last night. We're in the fall season of our lives and it takes a little getting use to. Actually, as a person moves from one season to another, I think it takes a little getting use to. Sometimes people are looking ahead and wanting to get on with the next season before it's time and then there are times when they don't want to move on and they can't let go of the season they are in. Important things happen in each season, such as this possible scenario:

Spring - birth, rapid growth and learning, education and lots of it, personal discoveries, figuring things out, trial and error, serving a mission, more education and usually marriage.

Summer - starting a family, child rearing, continued self discovery, development and discovery of talents, starting a career, establishing a home, serving in lots of ways (a very busy time of life!)

Fall - seeing children get married and start families of their own, developing talents and interests, serving more, doing some of the things you never had time to do in the summer of life, enjoying good health, more money and travel, developing a stronger marital relationship, serving a mission as a couple, becoming a grandparent.

Winter - staying closer to home and accepting visits from family and friends, reading, reading, reading, serving, enjoying the simple things in life like good health and family and friends, becoming a great-grandparent, writing a life history and ending your life history with dignity.

I guess the trick is to enjoy the season you are in to the fullest. Sometimes it takes work, patience and determination to find joy in the journey through the seasons of life.

Before you become somebody

First, become somebody who can support herself.
Second, before becoming somebody’s wife, be careful about who that somebody is.
Third, before becoming somebody’s mother, become somebody capable of being a good mother.
Fourth, before becoming somebody’s wife or somebody’s mother, become somebody who can make her own life richer.
Fifth, before becoming somebody’s wife and somebody’s mother, become somebody who is spiritually strong.
Sixth, a message especially for young men: Become somebody who encourages young women to reach their full intellectual and spiritual potential.
Finally, become somebody who understands that being a woman is worth celebrating.

This talk was given 27 March 1990 at a Ricks College devotional held during Women’s Week by Marie Hafen. I think it should be REQUIRED reading of all young women, their leaders and their parents.
It's a topic of discussion that comes up regularly in our office. Do women really need an education or should they just plan to raise a family and be a wife and mother and not worry about getting some training or in pursuing a career? Seriously? Why is this still being discussed in 2010? Letters to the editor in the campus newspaper usually have a hot exchange on this topic at least once a month.
Do guys like smart women? Are they intimidated by smart women? Should they have to compete against them for grades and available jobs?
Shouldn't women prioritize their lives and put home and family first and then a career second? Should pursuing a career ever come first? Do women have to make a choice, but men don't?
Should women delay having children to get their own education or to work while their husbands are in school?
Should women stop their education when get married?
Who will pay for the student loans of women when they aren't working anymore and start having babies?
And on and on it goes...


Here is an except from one of the many talks given by President Hinckley:

“It is so important that you young men and you young women get all of the education that you can. The Lord has said very plainly that His people are to gain knowledge of countries and kingdoms and of things of the world through the process of education, even by study and by faith. Education is the key which will unlock the door of opportunity for you. It is worth sacrificing for. It is worth working at, and if you educate your mind and your hands, you will be able to make a great contribution to the society of which you are a part, and you will be able to reflect honorably on the Church of which you are a member. My dear young brothers and sisters, take advantage of every educational opportunity that you can possibly afford, and you fathers and mothers, encourage your sons and daughters to gain an education which will bless their lives” (meeting, Hermosillo, Mexico, 9 Mar. 1998).

Haven't we progressed enough in the last 20 years since Marie Hafen gave her talk that we now know that women need to be prepared in BOTH arenas with preparation for a career and preparation to start a family and build a home? It's BOTH. It's possible to do both with some planning, hard work, prioritizing, training and goal setting if a woman wants to or needs to. It's important to have options and a good education will provide those options. In this day and age, I'm a firm believer that we have to better prepare our daughters for their futures. It's heartbreaking to see women struggling through life, working minimum wage jobs because they have poor training or no training at all, often with children and sometimes with a husband in tow. Preparation for the unknown future seems to be the key to me. Prepare and then prepare some more. Get all the education you can. I'm not advocating that all women work. I'm just saying that they should be prepared with options to work fewer hours for more money with the proper education if they so choose.

From the article:
Young women should prepare for a career, but not because a career is more important than family life. A career isn’t even as important as family life. Although Church leaders have counseled mothers of young children to avoid working outside the home whenever possible, they have also urged young women to seek education and prepare for careers and meaningful involvement in society.

Career-oriented education matters for several reasons. For example, at any given time, from 35 to 40 percent of the adult women in the Church are single, whether widowed, divorced, or not having married. Only 3 percent of Latter-day Saint women never marry. (See Twila Van Leer, “Singleness Becoming More Common,” Church News, 6 November 1983, p. 4.) In addition, more than 90 percent of both married and single women must work sometime during their adult lives. An LDS woman is now likely to work more than twenty-five years, and six out of ten working LDS women are supporting not only themselves but others in their families.

What these statistics boil down to is that young women who believe they will always have a husband who will fully support them, thereby making it unnecessary for them to work outside the home, are living in a dream world. Husbands may die, or they may be disabled by accidents or illness. Children grow up, missionaries need financial support, and most mothers live healthy, vigorous lives for many years after their children leave home. Single-adult women cannot expect the Lord to rescue them from life’s natural adversity. The gospel has been given to heal our pain, not to prevent it. The Lord does give us strength to deal with a world that can sometimes be dreary, but often that help comes only as we do all we can do.