Aunt Gayla & Uncle Bill

 Over the winter, my Uncle Bill (married to Aunt Rhonda) and later my Aunt Gayla (widowed 20 years ago) passed away.  They both lived such full, fulfilling, worthwhile lives.  I was impacted by their examples, their cheerfulness, their love of life, of the gospel of Jesus Christ, of their families and of our great country.  It was an honor to attend their services and join with my aunts, uncles and cousins in celebrating their accomplishments and legacies.  Aunt Gayla had suffered a debilitating stroke five years ago and she lost her speech and the use of the right side of her body.  Even in her extremity, she had a smile on her face and did the best she could under very difficult circumstances.We visited her many times at the care center where she lived and it was a honor to be in her presence.  Her motto, which actually came from my grandpa Lavon was, Always Be Happy! She and uncle Bill were happy people even though they weathered many storms in life.  I'm so grateful for their sterling examples.

My 90 year old mother came to town for her sister
Gayla's funeral.  It was good to have her in our
home again after several years.

At Uncle Bill's funeral.
 Just several weeks later, Aunt Gayla was gone.
 Mom, Aunt Gayla, my sister Carol  and me.

Aunt Gayla in her motorize chair.
  There's that smile.  Look out!

Always full of fun.

The beautiful flowers on Gayla's casket designed
 by her talented daughter May.  Purple, my favorite!

Handiwork made by my Grandma Mamie.
 This type of hand work is a lost art.
 I'm so impressed by the intricate patterns and
skill involved in making such creations.

I helped to sort out Gayla's seasonal decor so that
 her family could each take something as a keepsake.

My Grandma Mamie's jewelry box.
While organizing Gayla's things I found $500 cash
in an envelope and her diamond wedding ring that
had been lost for over 20 years. 
 My cousins were ecstatic!

Vintage jewelry of Gayla's and grandma's

A photo history quilt of Gayla's

Displays at her funeral

Many hand made items Gayla made over the years.
 Look at the vintage mirror and hair brush!

Uncle Bill's family.
  His eight awesome children and their spouses
 along with my sweet Aunt Rhonda.  They are an amazing family!

WW II vet, buried with full honors

Red, white and blue proud!

Loving God, loving our neighbors, loving ourselves

The past several months have been filled with lots of activities and projects.  My Relief Society presidency and I had the chance to attend 10 ward conferences in our stake through March, April and May.  It was a great opportunity to hear each Bishop share their thoughts with their ward members about the theme of the conference which was taken from Matthew 22: 36-40:

Master, which is great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all they mind.  This is the first and great commandment.  And the second is like unto it, thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.  On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

Our stake president also spoke and shared his thoughts and invited a member of each of the women's auxiliaries to share their thoughts as well.  I learned so much listening to different people share their thoughts on loving God, loving our neighbors and loving ourselves.  Everything we do hangs on these two commandments.  The importance of these verses from the scriptures cannot be overstated.

If we truly love God, our lives are changed.  We are different people.  We make choices that will please Him.  We follow his example and his commandments.  We live our lives in ways that show our love for Him.  As we master this love of God, we can't help but feel more inclined to love our neighbor.  Our hearts are changed and we look outward more than looking inward.  If we feel good about ourselves and are striving to improve our lives, we are more apt to forget ourselves and think of others.  I like to think of these concepts as forming a triangle.  At the top of the triangle is love of God, with the base being love of self and love of our neighbors.  These three important loves support and fuel one another.  If one part of the triangle is weak, the entire structure isn't as strong as it could be.

When I spoke in ward conference I shared a story from my youth.  It goes like this:  I was an awkward, gangly girl in my teenage years.  I was very tall, terribly skinny, had very crooked teeth, wore glasses, had a very short Twiggy haircut, severe acne, a big nose and not much confidence. I felt very sorry for myself because I wasn't like my older sisters who had boyfriends and I had none. I didn't have any dates and my self confidence was very low.  I would often listen to Karen Carpenter sing "Rainy Days and Mondays" on my record player and cry myself to sleep.  My thoughts were all about me and what I didn't have.

One day my wise father came into my room during a crying spell and said something that changed my life.  He said: Von, write a list of the things you can change about yourself down on a piece of paper and the things you can't change about yourself on another piece of paper.  Throw the piece of paper away that contains the list of things you cannot change (such things as my height, my big nose, etc.)  Go to work changing some of the things that are within your control and let the other things you can't change go from your life.  He told me that I was a late bloomer like him and that if I worked on what I could change, and not worry about what I couldn't, my life would change for the better.  He told me he would help me by paying for braces for my teeth and I decided to work all summer thinning beets to earn enough money to buy contact lenses.  Gradually, things started to change and my self confidence started to grow.  By the end of high school I had a date!  I was voted president of the Service Club and had a leadership position in our stake youth group.  I found that I was good at organizing things. As I worked on the things in my life I had control over, my life improved, as did my self confidence.  My love of self was necessary so that I could move beyond my continual thoughts of self to thoughts of others. As my self confidence improved, so did my ability to see beyond myself to the needs of others.  As I served and forgot about myself, I found great joy in being of service and my inward thoughts turned outward. My love of God grew as I loved his children and sought to help where I could.  As I "forgot myself and went to work" my triangle grew stronger.  I served an LDS mission to Argentina that helped my spiritual maturity and the strength and power of my triangle. I sought to please my Heavenly Father and not think so much about what people thought of my outward appearance or of me personally.  I seized control of the things I could change and let go of the rest.

All the laws and the teachings of the prophets hang on these principles.  Love.  Love.  Love.

My birthday

This year my birthday celebration was very different from other birthdays I've celebrated in the last decade.  We had family members living in town and I got to celebrate my Sunday birthday surrounded by my husband, my two daughters, R and six of our nine grandchildren!  It was such a happy day for me and I appreciated Rick making the delicious dinner (and breakfast in bed) with Jordan bringing my favorite salad and Claire bringing one of my favorite desserts - strawberry shortcake.

I loved the Facetime calls from our sons and daugthers-in-law and our other three grandchildren.  I loved the thoughtful gifts, the homemade cards from the grandchildren and the birthday lunches with friends in the following days.  I loved hearing from lots of family and friends on Facebook and in our church (since it was Sunday.)  And, I loved just feeling good and know that even though I'm aging, I still have a lot of good wear ahead of me and hopefully many happy years.  Thanks to everyone who made it such a special day for me.

He reaches our reaching

The theme presentation at the stake women's conference:

As we meet as Relief Society sisters this morning, I am overcome with a sense of gratitude for ALL those sisters who have gone before us. March 17, 2017 marks 175 years since the organization of the Relief Society by the Prophet Joseph Smith in 1842. Knowing that we are a part of this great chain of female discipleship should give us strength and courage as we move ahead to overcome the challenges we face in our day as modern day members of this great organization.  Relief Society is literally the gospel in action in the lives of you remarkable women. One of the purposes of Relief Society is to increase faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and His Atonement.  Our goal for the conference today is to do just that.  We hope that you will leave this conference knowing that you are a beloved daughter of our Heavenly Father and that he knows you and what you are experiencing in mortality.  We hope you will feel increased hope and encouragement, knowing that you are not alone as you face challenges in life.  We have prayed that that Holy Ghost will touch your hearts and give you strength, encouragement and determination to carry on, for we know that many of you are dealing with very difficult challenges.  We are hopeful that through the beautiful music that will be sung or presented, through the messages of our speakers and through the spirit, that you will feel buoyed up, more confident and more able to recognize the good in your lives, and to give thanks to the Lord.

As a presidency, we chose the theme for this conference from Proverbs 3:5-6, which reads:  Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all they ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct they paths.

Trusting in the Lord with all our hearts is sometimes a very difficult challenge because our own reasoning, our own thoughts and ways of doing things can get in the way.  Leaning on our own understanding typically means that we tend to ask the question “WHY?”  Why me, why did this happen, why now, why this person, why this challenge? Then we tend to wonder:  What did I do to deserve this?  Did I do something wrong?  Am I being punished?  Who is to blame?  Where can I go to find solace?  Who will help me?  How can I escape this challenge?  Why, why, why?

Although each of us will pass through the “land of whys” or the land of questions and concerns as a natural part of grieving those things we’ve lost or that have changed, we usually try to find mortal solutions and explanations for the hard things that happen to us.  Ultimately I believe the answers will be more quickly found and issues more quickly resolved if we learn to trust in the Savior.  The Savior doesn’t want us to try harder to resolve our problems and challenges on our own; he wants us to turn to him sooner.  Accessing the healing and comforting power of the atonement is the one sure way to feel peace and comfort in a world of challenges, sorrow and disappointment. 

Sisters, how can we learn to turn to him sooner?  How can we learn to access the Lord’s help through the atonement?

The answer is in learning to have faith in Him, believing Christ’s promises and teachings, trusting him and turning the challenges that our mortal minds cannot solve or comprehend over to Him who is mighty to save.  He, only one.

This process may seem counterintuitive to our mortal minds.  We may insist that we can “do it on our own” or that “God doesn’t care about me” or “I don’t feel worthy to ask for help.”  Simply put, these are all Satan’s lies.  He wants us struggle on alone, hopeless and unhappy, isolated and prone to making foolish choices that only make hard situations harder.  Trusting in Christ is the only safe way that will ultimately yield the greatest rewards here and later. The choice is ours.  He may test us to see if we will chose Him, even when we feel abandoned by Him.  At some point we will have to decide if we choose to follow Christ, having faith and trust in Him, or if we won’t.  If we don’t chose Christ, the alternatives often lead to bitterness, despair, sustained anger, on-going loss of faith, remorse and hopelessness.

We have chosen to use the beautiful painting by Joseph Brickey (a member of the 8th ward) that depicts Christ walking on the water.

We can read in the gospels the accounts of Matthew, Mark and John as they relate to this miraculous story.  The words they use are instructive to us today:

In Matthew 14: 24-32 it reads:
24 But the ship was now in the midst of the seas, tossed with waves, for the wind was contrary.
25 And in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea.
26 And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear.
27 But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid.
28 And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto three on the water.
29 And he said, Come.  And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus.
30 But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.
31 And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?
32 And when they were come into the ship, the wind ceased.
33 Then they that were in the ship came and worshipped him, saying, Of a truth thou art the Son of God.

In Mark 6:48 it reads that they were toiling to row, that the wind was contrary.
John states in 6:21: Then they willingly received him into the ship, and immediately the ship was at the land wither they went.

The key words used in the scriptures are: tossed with waves, winds contrary and boisterous, fearful, cried out "save me!" Christ IMMEDIATELY helped when asked.  But Peter had to ask first.  He had to reach and then Christ stretched for his hand and saved him.  He, meaning Christ, reaches our reaching! Once they had been tested, they willingly received him into the safety of their ship and the seas were instantly calmed.

Can you see the application for us today?  Can you see the parallels to your own life's circumstances?

Today, I asked my presidency and five more sisters to share a short example, or a vignette of sorts, from their lives telling of a time when they were figuratively traveling on a ship that was tossed with the waves and the wind was contrary.  Some of them even left the safety of the ship to seek the Savior or were thrown overboard and ventured into deep water, trying to make their way to Christ who was mighty to save.  I'm grateful for these courageous women who have agreed to show us a glimpse into their hearts and personal lives were there is sometimes sorrow or challenges that the eye can't see. We often look around the room full of our Relief Society sisters and think that we are the only one who is struggling or suffering through some challenges in life. Sisters, we all have been, or will be upon the great deep.  Hopefully the stories shared will strengthen your resolve to carry on with faith, trusting in the Lord, and to keep moving, struggling or swimming towards Christ.  We will share real life examples of how this could be done.

I'll start off and share an example from my own life of learning to trust in the Lord and then we will follow the program as outlined.

Stake Women's Conference

Dear readers, I'm back.
Life sometimes gets busy.  After Christmas, my Relief Society presidency and I got busy finalizing the plans for our stake women's conference.  It was held on February 25, and it turned out just like we hoped it would.  I'm so grateful for all those women who spoke and shared experiences from their lives when they had to trust in the Lord. Many sisters helped us decorate and un-decorate, many men helped us in the kitchen and with tables and chairs and we appreciated all their help.  My WONDERFUL presidency went above and beyond to carry out their responsibilities and assignments.  It was a great conference and we felt like we reached our goal to share messages of hope and encouragement, even in the face of all the challenges of life.  Our theme was Proverbs 3:5-6 - "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."

We asked eight women to share experiences in their lives when they had to trust in the Lord and not lean on their own understanding.  They each shared pictures in slides in a powerpoint to show images that helped tell their stories.  It took great courage for many of them to share stories that were about times in their lives that were very hard.  The spirit was present and we heard many good comments about how their personal experiences touched the lives of those in the room.  Our new stake president gave an inspiring talk at the conclusion.

We had Hawaiian haystacks and grapes for lunch with a darling cupcake, commemorating the 175th birthday of the Relief Society organization.  I was so happy when my counselor in charge of decorations chose purple (my favorite color) as the color for the table coverings!  Every detail was so well done.
It was a wonderful conference.