Keep up the good work

Friday, February 6, 2015

Happiness is a choice

We had a wonderful Relief Society activity a few weeks ago. Members of our stake Relief Society presidency came and spoke to us about finding happiness in each phase of our lives. They had such good advice to share. Here are some things they said:
Finding happiness while being a young mother

The joy of motherhood comes in moments. Write down the funny things you kids say and re-read them often. Take pictures and look back on your year. Be aware and grateful for all you have, even in the challenges.
Don't over schedule yourself and your children (or as least try very hard not to.) Being overly stressed is a happiness killer.
Find ways to motivate each child. Methods will vary. Find joy in their accomplishments.
Find time for yourself. Set a timer and give yourself time to do something you love. Put your mask on first. You can't give what you don't have. Trade some responsibilities with your husband to take a break from the daily grind.
Pray, study and teach the gospel to your children. Write down what thoughts impress you. Find your inner strength and share your thoughts and feelings and let them know what you value.
Give yourself credit. Don't be too hard on yourself. Celebrate YOUR accomplishments!

Finding happiness while parenting teenagers

Stay close to heavenly guidance. Pray and ponder. Treat each child according to their needs, strengths and weaknesses.
Keep open lines of communication. Be available when THEY want to talk. These are some of the sweetest moments. Help them see how well they are doing. Their accomplishments bring them and YOU lots of joy.
Clean their rooms with them, work with them in the yard, have them help you cook, clean and work. Working with a parent is a great time to talk to teenagers. They fill better when they contribute to family life and so will you. Don't do everything for them. Help them gain confidence by being more and more autonomous.
Criticism tears teens down, humor goes a long way to lighten the mood. Be happy and find times to laugh and joke around. Lighten the mood.
Give them your TIME. Much good will come of it. Building relationships that will last for years ahead. You are building your future happiness with them.
Do fun things with them. Help them find out what they enjoy and do it together. Fun family times are long remembered and bring much happiness.

Finding happiness while being single

Appreciate those who are around you. Value what other women/people do and their talents and experiences. Ask them questions about themselves. Get up, Get out. Don' t wait for other people to invite you. Take some chances and you'll be surprise how people will respond.
Find ways to connect with those of similar interests. Be the one to invite for an outing or to share something you have in common.
Move ahead in life. Don't wait until everything is perfect or how you envisioned it would be. Don't feel sorry for yourself. You will be much happier and will attract people to you if you don't complain about your single status.
Turn to the Lord. Find comfort in his promises. Read and study talks specifically to offer suggestions to singles. Don't label yourself. If you don't, others won't be as likely to label you either.
Show your competitence no matter your marital status. You don't have to be married to accomplish a lot in life, serve in the church in every capacity and contribute to those around you. Look for people who need you, don't always be looking for others to fill your needs.
If you are lonely, step forward and serve. It is the ONLY answer to help. If loniless leads to depression, seek help.
Think of 5 good things that have happened in your life and review them often. Train yourself to look at the good in life and be grateful.

Finding happiness later in life

You now have TIME to do all the things you wanted to do! Happiness!!
Look for opportunities to contribute and ways that will bring much fullfillment and happiness: Mission service, temple work, family history, education week, personal history, institute classes
You now have more time to devote to children and grandchildren. Track their birthdays and think of special ways to celebrate with them. Call. FaceTime. Skype. Take the initiative and stay up on what they are doing.
Further develop your interests and hobbies
Travel, near or far, go and see, learn and grow
Exercise in new and different ways, get up and go
Find shared interests with a spouse, do more and different things together
Find ways to contribute as a empty nester parent. Find the boundaries that work for grown up parent and child. Much happiness can come with adult children.
Work or adapting to different circumstances such as illness, decreased mobility, illness in a spouse. Make adjustments. Many people who live in the past experience regret. Others who live in the future experience fear. Live in the present to experience and FIND joy.
Find your divine center. Happiness that is centered on Jesus Christ. Circumstances may change, but this relationship can remain constant. Develop a knowledge of and a relationship with our Savior Jesus Christ. Focus on the love of the Lord and the blessings he give us.

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Try, try, try...words of wisdom

Put your make-up on
Get your nails done
Curl your hair
Run the extra mile
Keep it slim so they like you, do they like you?

Get your sexy on
Don't be shy, girl
Take it off
This is what you want, to belong, so they like you
Do you like you?

You don't have to try so hard
You don't have to, give it all away
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don't have to change a single thing

You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try
You don't have to try

Mm, mm

Get your shopping on, at the mall, max your credit cards
You don't have to choose, buy it all, so they like you
Do they like you?

Wait a second,
Why, should you care, what they think of you
When you're all alone, by yourself, do you like you?
Do you like you?

You don't have to try so hard
You don't have to, give it all away

You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don't have to change a single thing

You don't have to try so hard
You don't have to bend until you break
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don't have to change a single thing

You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try

You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try
You don't have to try

Mm, mm

You don't have to try so hard
You don't have to, give it all away
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don't have to change a single thing

You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try
You don't have to try

Take your make-up off
Let your hair down
Take a breath
Look into the mirror, at yourself
Don't you like you?

'Cause I like you

Read more: Colbie Caillat - Try Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Who are THEY and why does THEIR opinion matter so much?
We know who we are, whose we are and where we're going. Don't let THEM have any control. Not for one minute. Be true to yourself and to your beliefs. Like yourself because you are a person of great worth. It's so hard to do in a culture obsessed with outward beauty, fitness and perfection, competition and comparison. Try, Try, Try for things of lasting value and of great worth. The good opinion we need to worry about is the opinion of our Heavenly Father. His good opinion of us is the only one we should be concerned about. Hard to do, but something to strive for.

Monday, January 12, 2015

36 questions to help you fall in love (again?)

What if there were 36 questions that could help you fall in love? Would you use them?
Well, now you have your chance. There’s a study from almost 20 years ago called “The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness: A Procedure and Some Preliminary Findings,” authored by Arthur Aron and other researchers, which has recently resurfaced in the news thanks to a New York Times article. The purpose of the study was to see whether or not asking a person intimate questions could create an intimate relationship between two people.

Here is the list of questions to take on your next date, road trip or weekend get away.

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a "perfect" day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
25. Make three true "we" statements each. For instance 'We are both in this room feeling …."
26. Complete this sentence: "I wish I had someone with whom I could share …."
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

A new year to make...

...a new beginning. I have a new resolve to do better, be better, accomplish something worthwhile, work harder, serve more, be kinder, forgive, learn, be more patient, stretch, be happier, become more. I'm excited about it! I'm turning 60 this year. I'm retiring on May 1 from work, after 20 consecutive years of working nearly every day. I'm starting some new chapters in my life and I'm very excited about it. What will this next decade bring?
I'm hopeful that I've mostly done with visiting Dr. offices. I've met our out of pocket deductible for three years in a row now and I'm ready for some good health and more mobility with my new knee reaching the one year anniversary since replacement on February 6. My oncologist and my radiation oncologist said they don't want to see me again for six months. Hooray! That is such good news to me. My other "issues" are stable now, so I'm ready to be healthy, eat healthier, get moving and just feel better.
I'm excited for a new decade to begin in my life. New challenges to move forward. New ideas for goals I'm excited about.
Here are a my goals for this year, 15 in 2015:

Attend all 15 temples in Utah, attend the temple twice a month
read the Ensign every month
dejunk, clean and organize my home
update all my photo albums, label and date them
start writing my personal history
sew something for each grandchild
sew my Christmas presents
spend more time in my yard gardening, etc.
walk 10,000 steps 5 days a week (thanks to my new FitBit from Rick and Claire, this will be measurable!)
Lose 15 pounds
Read 15 books
support and love my mother more in her advancing years
strengthen the relationships with people I care about
serve at UVU in the Women's Success Center board
finish visiting the rest of the 50 states I haven't been to including: Kansas, Nebraska, Iowa, Missouri and Oklahoma

I plan to report back here on my progress on my goals. Wish me luck!

"When performance is measured, performance improves. When performance is measured and reported, the rate of improvement accelerates" (see Thomas S. Monson, in Conference Report, Oct. 1970, 107).

Monday, January 5, 2015

He is The Gift

We had a wonderful Christmas with our family. We were all together for four days and though a little hectic, it was a lot of fun. Everyone was patient and treated others kindly and we had a great Christmas holiday together. Lots of fun included - attending the Timpanogos temple together,(thanks to Colleen and Mark for tending the grandchildren!!), going to the annual P/R dinner party, sledding at MVHS, visiting Grandma Pat in her home, attending church, Sunday dinner, lunch with the adults at Blue Lemmon, three BYU basketball games, playing the game of Things, playing the present game, visiting the Lindley's new home, watching movies, going to movies, eating good food, just hanging out and playing with the kids. 18 people under one roof with 8 children and four kids in pack-and-plays makes for cozy accommodations.

We were so happy to have everyone here and love them all so much.

I heard a man in my office today comment to another person about their Christmas holiday. He said "the best part of Christmas was being with the one I love, having a happy marriage, being surround by my children and grandchildren and watching them have a great time together. This was the best gift of Christmas. "

I couldn't agree more.

Faith, family friends...simply the best gifts in life.