Jake is celebrating his 35th birthday today!

Snuggling up in his new Cougar quilt I made for him

Off to church with his new baby son, Thomas Jacob

On Christmas eve with his true love

Priesthood power at the blessing of Thomas

Father and son

At Lauren's baptism...such a handsome man

 

What a wonderful family man he is!

Here are some words that people have used to describe Jake that I took from my daughter's blog: great name, smart as heck, handsome, generous, physically strong, great sense of humor, gentle soul, hard worker, athletic, true BYU fan, prays with faith, trustworthy, gives great hugs, genuine, sincere, helpful, great father, positive attitude, steady, easy to be around, loves his family, addicted to Cougar board, insightful reader and researcher, loves precision, exceptionally bright, dedicated to the gospel of Jesus Christ, tender-hearted, good example, his priorities are straight, giving and generous, faithful and true, optimistic and hopeful, sweet with his girls and boy, kind, wise, thoughtful, courageous, tough, smart and wonderful,  he is all points of the scout law, has a knack with languages and enjoys learning,  his love for Spain and Spaniards, the twinkle he gets in his eye!, his love of quality ironing, he will tell you his opinion but will never do it in an offensive way, very calm and never bothers anyone by being overbearing or loud,  he is definitely someone you could be stuck on a desert island with that wouldn't drive you insane,  patient with his the kids, the love he has for Jordan, he is a REAL MAN who shows his love and devotion for his family, funny, a great nickname giver, laid back, loyal, genuine, hard working, faithful, fun, humble, giving, compassionate, he is Jordan's equal in every way and they make a great team and compliment each other so well, he is an example of how to be a better husband and father by how he loves and serves his wife and daughters, is a great pie maker and cook, calming influence, thoughtful, careful, particular, sports-lover, BYU loyalist, devoted, head-over-heels for Jord, doting/loving father, game/contest/obstacle course creator, smart, steady, patient, melodic tones of his voice, diligent in his church callings, POTD on CB was monumental, king of breakfast food creation, tile floor mopping, electronic/computer/automotive research, loves a good road trip, has a very competitive spirit, has a strong set of principles that inform his behavior,  he never sinks to gamesmanship (he's always very sportsmanlike and even encouraging) or bending the rules at all to win, an almost palpable sense of stillness or calm that feels comforting to just be around, he has kind blue eyes, adorable dimples, peaceful, never seen Jake upset in any form, has such a calming spirit about him, even when BYU football is embarrassing, selfless, kind, and understanding,  slyly, but sharply, funny too.
What more can I say?  He is a good man and we all love him very much.  Happy birthday Jake!

My Mary Claire is 32 years old today

Happy birthday to my wonderful daughter Claire. 

 She has been a delight since the day she was born. 

 Things I appreciate about her:

She is her own person and has her own style,

 her own thoughts, her own way of doing things

She has self confidence

She has had some great travel adventures all over the world

She loves all things Royal and her BFF is Princess Kate

She is beautiful

She has adapted well to her new surroundings

She makes friends easily
She is smart as a whip

She can plan a trip and read a map like no other

She married into a wonderful family

She continues to be a sports enthusiast

 and knows more about sports than most men.

She has the best personality and sense of humor

She is well read and continues to read her high end magazines faithfully

She is a CPA and works hard for three months out of the year

She is a great mother to her little son and daughter

She organizes her home like a pro

She is a great sister and sister-in-law

She has learned how to cook wonderful meals

She checks in with me frequently and stays up to date on my life.

She is supportive of her good husband and enjoys spending time with him.

She loves her little family

She serves in the stake Primary presidency and is committed to service

She has a strong testimony of the gospel

 of Jesus Christ and tries to follow His example.

I love her dearly!

Here are more good things about Claire. 

All you ever wanted to know about knee replacement surgery

Back in 2010, I did this blog entry about my painful left knee.  I knew that some day I was going to have to face getting a total knee replacement.  I was able to stretch that waiting period into an extra three and a half years and the time finally arrived on February 6, 2014 for surgery.  Besides the bone spurs and the bone-on-bone osteoarthritis pain, I also had begun to to get a valgus knee deformity.  I had a nine degree bend in my knee that was only going to get worse with time, use and more wear and tear.  It would get harder to correct with the passage of even more time.  I finally made the decision to just move forward and schedule the surgery. 

I really dreaded this surgery.  My brother-in-law Dave had had his knee replaced last summer, and I knew the recovery process was going to be long and painful.  I also made the mistake of watching this knee replacement video on YouTube.  It's not for the faint of heart, but it is amazing to see how it is done. Knee replacement surgery is very brutal.  The surgeons aren't gentle and kind.  They get in there and cut, hammer, chisel and grind the bone, muscles and tendons.  They push and shove and wear protective gear while they are working because lot of "stuff" is flying around. It is MAJOR surgery and causes MAJOR pain since it involves bone, nerves, muscle and tendons.  The surgeon inserts titanium steel and plastic and he screws it to the bone, glues it and hammers it into place.  Fortunately, my surgeon was able to correct my valgus deformity and now my leg is straight again!

I did my homework and felt like I had found the right surgeon and the right replacement hardwear.  Given my valgus knee problem, I wasn't a candidate for a ConFormis knee (a custom made knee replacement.)   I got the Vanguard BioMet total knee replacement that looks like this:

 

Pre-surgery

Hours after surgery

Continual Perpetual Motion machine
 (CPM) that forced the knee to bend while
 in rehab and for two weeks at home

3 days after surgery

One week after surgery

two weeks after surgery

three weeks after surgery

6 1/2 weeks after surgery

Everyone who has had this surgery has told me that it takes about six months to a year before the new knee feels "normal."  I'm not there yet.  In fact, as this point (almost seven weeks from surgery) I'm still not glad I did it.  I hope that with time, more therapy and less pain, I will be glad I took this major step.  Here's hoping the bruising, the swelling and the stiffness become less with each passing day. I'm hopeful that my new knee will take me through the next 25-30 years and that I can get back to my regular routine, gait, and activity level.
Oh, and an interesting side note...the price tag (not including out-patient physical therapy) is $51,636 for the hospital, surgeons, anesthesiologists, in-patient rehab and home health care.  We'll get to meet our out-of-pocket deductible, again this year.  Thankfully, we have good health insurance through my husband's employment!

Lauren's rainbow

Our sweet granddaughter Lauren was baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on March 1, 2014.  We were so happy our mothers could attend with us as we traveled to AZ for this important event. Lauren, Jordan and Jake had the support of so many family members and friends.  Lauren asked me to give the opening prayer at the service and her mother gave a wonderful talk as she and another little girl were baptized.  Lauren played the piano and accompanied a group of children as they sang a primary song.  We also sang "When I am Baptized." The words go like this:    

I like to look for rainbows whenever there is rain

And ponder on the beauty of an earth made clean again.

I want my life to be as clean as earth right after rain.

I want to be the best I can and live with God again.

I know when I am baptized my wrongs are washed away, 

And I can be forgiven and improve myself each day

I want my life to be as clean as earth right after rain.

I want to be the best I can and live with God again.

Lauren with her two great-grandmothers Pat and Mary

Sisters and cousin with the GG mothers 

Lauren and her daddy Jake

Jake, my brother Paul, his wife DeNae, Mom and Lauren

Father and daughter

Playing around with Uncle Rich and Grandpa Rick

Our oldest granddaughter who we love so much! 

With Grandma Pat

Lauren's whole family! Ellie, Ada, Tommy, Mom, Dad 

Aunt Claire, Uncle Rich, cousins Lizzie and Will

Both sides of the family celebrating with one little girl

It had been an unusually wet and cold day in AZ on her baptism day.  It was overcast and cloudy and right after the baptism, the clouds parted and a beautiful rainbow appeared.  It was very symbolic of our feelings that day.  We felt hope, peace and love and a assurance that our Heavenly Father was near, just like the song said.  Even though her daddy was scheduled for brain surgery two days later, the focus was on this sweet girl and the peace and calm we felt as we gathered together to watch her enter into the baptismal covenant and begin her first step home to live with Him again.

Down...but not out

I've thought about this post for several weeks now, and frankly, I haven't been anxious to write it. I can't think of a time in my life when I've been more down physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.  It's been tough and it's involved different kinds of pain in very high doses.

First...the physical pain.  I had a total knee replacement on February 6.  Can I just say...OUCH!! I knew it would be very painful because I've already had two knee scopes and I know that knee pain is excruciating.  On a scale of 1 to 10, they say that breaking a femur is a 10.  Check.  Been there, done that.  Pain can go pretty high on that scale with a knee replacement.  They try and keep it at a 4 or 5, with narcotic pain killers but there is always pain. Constant, throbbing pain.   I don't do really well with high doses of pain killers which upset my stomach and don't stay in my system for long.  Then that exacerbates the situation.  I really struggled in the hospital and at the rehab center to keep the meds down until finally they found one that worked...my new friend Norco.  Percocet is not my friend and morphine just makes me feel discombobulated. Norco helped control the pain but it also killed my appetite. (So far I've lost about 8 pounds, which isn't all bad.)
After three days in the hospital, six days in an inpatient rehab center, I went home where my main man Rick helped me with my ice machine, CPM leg bending machine and every other need I had.  He asked me which was worse, chemo pain or knee pain.  My reply is that they are totally different kinds of discomfort.  The chemo pain makes you feel like you're going to die and the knee pain makes you feel like you want to die (that's a joke...sort of.)His wonderful sister Robyn came from California to help me for several days and she was a life saver.  Many friends came to the rescue and brought me food and good cheer.  My Mom came and helped me and at the three week mark after surgery, we headed to AZ to attend Lauren's baptism.  Still in pain... but no amount of pain could keep me from going.

Next, the emotional pain.  Jake's diagnosis on January 25 was the worst news.  It was like getting hit by a freight train. To see our sweet daughter and her wonderful husband face this trial with their little family was almost more that I could bear.  I H*A*T*E cancer.  It has taken too many of our family members and threatened to take several more.  Without going into a lot of detail, let's just say that I've cried a river of tears over this brain tumor diagnosis of our son who is more like our own son than an  in-law.  There must be something about being a parent and watching children struggle with challenges that just about takes that parent to the limit of endurance.   There is the helplessness of not bring able to shield and protect your child.  There was precious little I could do or say that would provide help and absolutely nothing I could do to  stop the parade of terribles they were experiencing. I couldn't stop crying and thinking about the consequences constantly.  Finally, on March 7, Rick gave me a priesthood blessing that calmed my troubled heart and helped to stop the flood gate of anguish I was feeling for Jordan and Jake and their four little children. We did all we could to help while we visited for four and a half days, but no amount of help was going to turn the tide on the reality of the situation.

Mentally, I've been down.  I shut down everything I normally do for that last six weeks while I recovered from surgery.  I canceled two dinners at our home with friends.  I canceled all the activities I normally do.  I haven't really gone anywhere or done much of anything.  I had a big stack of books I was going to read, but I haven't had the where-with-all to do much of anything but try and manage pain and go to physical therapy (and do my work remotely from home.)  I haven't been myself or done my regular routine and I miss it.  Being alone and staying inside just breeds more depression.  Rick went to AZ to help for 10 days and even though I was so happy he could go and help out, it was tough to be alone.  Luckily, visits from Janet, Lee and Jessica, Andy and Chelsea helped break up those days.

Spiritually, it's been discouraging.  You think you've built your reserves and that you'll be able to withstand the trials that come your way.  You know your faith is strong, but when sorely tested, you wonder if it is strong enough.  You try and make sense of suffering.  You try and look for solutions and ways to help ease the pain of loved ones and for yourself.  You once again examine the question of "why do bad things happen to good people?"  You try and make yourself do the things you know will help build spiritual strength.   You search for the comfort and peace promised in the scriptures and you turn to the only ONE who can help to carry the load.  You don't give up.  You pray for the strength to carry on and to overcome.  You recognize the source of anger, discouragement and fear and you work like hell to not let them take over.  You recognize, once again, that there is only one place to turn for help.  And you turn there, again, and again and again.  Because, what else can you do?