Countdown to Christmas

Day #13


Lights at Temple Square from Jon Price on Vimeo.


It's a holiday tradition for many families. A tour around Temple Square in Salt Lake City. It's so beautiful and peaceful and a wonderful reminder of the true meaning of Christmas. It just wouldn't seem like Christmas without a visit to Temple Square.

Countdown to Christmas

Day #12Here is some really good relationship advice for Sane Family Christmas Gatherings*

Preparing for family gatherings is par for the course during the holiday season. But did you realize you should also be preparing for the impact such gatherings can have on your marital relationship?

Bringing all the family together can be extremely rewarding, but it can also test the relationships of all those who are present. Here are four tips that can help minimize the negative impact that family and family gatherings can have on your marriage.

1. Have realistic expectations - Most couples have an idea of what types of issues are likely to annoy them or hurt their feelings when the whole family gets together. It is important to realize that in most situations, you will each be more patient with your own family. You and your spouse will likely each be more excited to spend time with your own family. This is logical. However, often people are not realistic enough about how they or their spouse will feel about family and family gatherings or unrealistically expect things to be different than they were before. Change your expectations, and you and your spouse will be better able to take the irritations in stride.

2. Open the lines of communication - In anticipation of family gatherings, talk with your spouse about what sort of things you may face and how you can understand what may cause issues for him or her. If you go into the events knowing what may or may not cause issues for your spouse, you can prevent dealing with ramifications.
If there have been problems before, talk with your family members and set boundaries so that similar problems are less likely to occur in future. In most situations, families get together because they want to enjoy each others company. Educate them if something upsets you. Be open, honest and patient. They will likely appreciate knowing how to help make things more comfortable for you and your spouse. If a problem arises, nip it early.

3. Avoid the temptation to smooth things over - Smoothing is a term I use to illustrate when a person tries to fix things between their family and their spouse. For example, when your spouse's feelings are hurt by one of your family members (even if it was unintentional), it is tempting to try to diffuse the situation by explaining that your family member did not intend to hurt your spouse's feelings. You may also try to help your spouse look at the situation differently so that your family member is not put in such a bad light. You may think explaining that to your spouse will help him feel better. The reality is that you may make the situation worse. Your spouse may feel that you are taking the side of the family member and that your family of origin is more important than he is.
A better way to deal with the situation is to listen to your spouse and validate what he experienced. You don't have to agree with his interpretations. Do your best to put your feelings of loyalty to family on the back burner.

4. Put your marriage first - If you are faced with a situation where you have to side with your spouse or another family member, choose your spouse every time. I hesitate to talk of it like you have to take sides, but the reality is that if your spouse's feelings have been hurt or you decide to spend too much time with your family instead of your spouse's, your spouse may feel that you are taking sides. Protecting your spouse protects your marriage. You may need to spend less time with your family that you want and more time with your spouse's family than you want.
Family is and should be the greatest joy in our lives. This is why is it so great to get together and celebrate the birth of the Savior together. Following the tips I have provided can help you and your spouse happily navigate potential negatives you may face so you can truly feel joyous about your family and your spouse's family.

*Jonathan Swinton is a licensed marriage and family therapist at Swinton Counseling in Utah.

12-11-11

Progress report to keep me motivated. MY FINAL REPORT!
11 in 11

1. visit 11 temples this year and do the the temple work for at least 22 of our departed ancestors - COMPLETED July 2011

• 1. Provo, Utah temple-10 sealings for couples and sons
• 2. Provo, Utah temple - 5 initiatory
• 3. Albuquerque, New Mexico temple - 5 initiatory
• 4. Mesa, Arizona temple - 1 endowment
• 5. Laie, Hawaii temple - 1 endowment
• 6. St. George, Utah temple - 1 endowment
• 7. Provo, Utah temple - 8 sealings for couples, 4 sons (Rick), 3 daughters
• 8. San Diego temple - 1 sealing for couples, 3 daughters
• 9. Provo, Utah temple - 14 baptisms for women, 14 confirmations
• 10. Provo, Utah temple - 3 sealings for couples, five sons (Rick), five daughters
• 11. Provo, Utah temple - 1 endowment
• 12. Provo, Utah temple - 2 sealings for couples, 8 sons
• 13. Provo, Utah temple 2 sealings for couples, 4 sons
• 14. Provo, Utah temple 1 endowment
• 15. Provo, UT temple 3 sealings for couples, 5 daughters
• 16. Provo, UT temple 1 endowment
• 17. Logan, UT temple 1 endowment
• 18. Provo, UT temple 1 endowment
  

2. lose 11 pounds - I'm sad to report that I didn't achieve this goal this year. Next year will be my year! This is the only goal I didn't achieve and it was by far the hardest after a very good effort.

3. read 11 books - COMPLETED September 2011

• 1. The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks
• 2. Heidi (a childhood favorite - loved reading it again)
• 3. Same Kind of Different as Me
• 4. The Forgotten Garden
• 5. Jane Eyre
• 6. The Book Thief
• 7. Believing Christ
• 8. The Hunger Games
• 9. Catching Fire
  
• 10. Mockingjay
  
• 11. Rebel (book on tape while driving through the south, which lasted 16 hours!)
• 12. Yale Avenue Kid, autobiography of VBR
• 13. A Child Called "It"
  

4. organize & label 11 of our family photo books - COMPLETED October 2011

• completed 4 books, starting in 1976 through 1982
• completed 7 books, starting in 2006-2011
  

5. visit 11 elderly people - COMPLETED August 2011

• 1. G.G. 2. G.D.E. 3. M. Y. 4. L. B. 5. V. B. R. 6. D. F. 7. A. E. 8. U. R. 8. A. L. 9. U. V. 10. L. C. 11. S. C. 12. P. P. R. 13. L. B.
  

6. sew 11 items and give them away - COMPLETED November 2011

• 1 skirt for Skippy, 1 blanket for Skippy, 1 skirt of Lauren, 1 skirt for Ellie, 1 skirt for Ada, 2 aprons for Skippy, 1 skirt for Skippy, 1 jumper for Kindergarten Lauren, bound 1 quilt for a friend, make five baby blankets for Courtney, make a tee-shirt quilt for Courtney's birthday

7. go with Rick to visit 11 new places - COMPLETED September 2011

• 1. drove around Utah Lake for the first time
• 2. North shore Oahu, Hawaii - including Waimea, Haleiwa & Sunset beach
  
• 3. Hike to Diamond head, Hawaii
• 4. West shore Oahu, Hawaii - including Waianae, Maili & Ko Olina bay
• 5. Legoland, California
• 6. PETCO stadium, San Diego California
• 7. Mississippi - Jackson, Oxford
• 8. Tennessee - Memphis, Nashville, Knoxville
• 9. Kentucky - Bowling Green
  
• 10. North Carolina - Great Smoky Mountains, Asheville
• 11. South Carolina - Spartanburg, Greenville
• 12. Georgia - Atlanta, Athens
• 13. Alabama - Birmingham
• 14. Arkansas - Little Rock
• 15. Texas - Keller, Austin

8. send birthday cards to 11 people I don't normally send to - COMPLETED October 2011

• 1. A. K. 2. A. K. 3. D. A. 4. D. R. 5. D. S. 6. G. G. 7. T. S. 8. D. G. 9. M. J. 10. L. C. R. 11. H.F. 12. S. C.
  

9. watch 11 old movies that I love but haven't seen for awhile - COMPLETED September 2011

• 1. Dances with Wolves
• 2. First Knight
• 3. Mama Mia
• 4. Groundhog Day
• 5. A River Runs Through It
• 6. October Sky
• 7. The Little Princess with Shirley Temple
• 8. Father of the Bride
• 9. Emma
• 10. Wuthering Heights
• 11. Fried Green Tomatoes
• 12. Gone With the Wind
• 13. Steel Magnolias
• 14. National Treasure
  

10. make 11 new recipes - COMPLETED November 2011

• 1. Lentil soup (won't be making this again - it wasn't a hit with the husband)
• 2. Ziti Primavera
• 3. Cinnamon rolls (new recipe)
• 4. Easter Dessert
• 5. oriental chicken in the crock pot
• 6. Grilled chicken southwestern salad (from Jordan)
• 7. Fast Easy Bread, cinnamon rolls, monkey bread, crescent rolls with Lindsey!!
• 8. Shirley J, using the Universal sauce for beef stroganoff & broccoli cheese soup
• 9. Southern cooking from Mary Mac's cookbook - fried chicken, fresh creamed corn, peach cobbler, peach pancakes
• 10. Carmel dip fondue with apples and bananas
  
• 11. Pesto on vine ripe tomatoes with fresh mozzarella cheese
• 12. Cube steak in gravy & mashed potatoes
  

11. invite 11 groups of people over for dinner - COMPLETED July 2011

• 1. Lacey & friends, Pat & Vern
• 2. Valentine dinner with the Mark & Colleen, Trent & Kelley
• 3. Cleofon group of women for luncheon
• 4. Ryan, Jill and Corbin C.
• 5. Dave's friends from college - Erick & Sam, Bryan & Kelly, Danny & Danielle, Kyle & Kayla
• 6. Cousin Margaret & family
• 7. Niece Syd & Adam, Danny & Danielle, Romney, Jesse
• 8. Ryan & Jill, Corbin & Loni (BBQ outside)
• 9. Denise, Lacey & family
• 10. Adam and Crissa
• 11. Lindsey R. and her four darling daughters, Corbin
• 12. 4th of July BBQ - 70 family and friends
• 13. Ben and Melissa
• 14. Mom, David, Diane, Syd, Adam, Bishop and Becca
• 15. Dustin, Daelynn, MacKinley, Lucy, Syd, Adam
• 16. Margie, Ann, Brian, Robyn, Doug, Deborah, Pat & Vern (for Pat's birthday dinner)
• 17. Jason B. his wife Shelley and their four boys
• 18. Mark, Colleen, Curtis, Heidi and Tyler
• 19. Richard
• 20. Harmon, Deborah, Emily, Gerald & Phillip
  
• 21. Courtney baby shower
• 22 Thanksgiving dinner for 15
  
• 23. Sofia and friends
• 24. Andy and friends (and sister Janet...not pictured)
  

Countdown to Christmas

Day #11

We attended the premier of a new musical that was written about the Christmas book "The Christmas Miracle of Jonathan Toomey" at SCERA last Thursday. We enjoyed meeting the author Susan Wojciechowski and having her sign our copy of the book that we bought back in 1997. It's a sweet story with a wonderful message about love, redemption and bringing hope back into the life of someone who had lost it.

Countdown to Christmas

Day #10

Christmas is a time of year when a lot of people stretch their hearts and their pocket books and give to others. It's a good exercise to stretch and it feels soooooo good to carry around a pocket book that weighs less! A lot of people are more prone to look outside of themselves and to give to others. I love that part about Christmas. And I really love it when people can give anonymously. They don't want credit, they just want to give and to lift someone, surprise someone, help someone and have fun!
This year I was the recipient of the most generous gift from an anonymous donor. Some generous donor gave every person at my office a Blendtec blender! There are 45 people in my area. Those blenders retail at $470. You do the math.
I was so excited my heart started pounding and I got a huge smile on my face. For you see, I've wanted one of these blenders for years but I didn't have the cash just lying around to buy one.
That anonymous donor made A LOT of people very happy.
I've since learned that the donor has ties to the company and probably got them at cost or less, but still....W~O~W!!!
Who ever it was has got to be feeling pretty good right now. And since I will never be able to thank them in person, I'll just have to thank them here...so...THANK YOU, I really appreciate your gift!!!