Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Robert









My younger sister Carol lost her husband on June 8.  His loss has been terribly hard for my sweet sister and her family.  She married Robert just a year ago and now he is gone.  He didn't get to stay with her for very long.  They fell in love and had a story book romance and had such wonderful plans to enjoy the future together.  She was widowed almost 12 years ago and we were all so happy for her to find Robert. 
We all mourn his loss.  He was such a sweet, genuine man and though I didn't know him well, I know he loved my sister.  The heartbreaking ironic tragedy is that she has now lost two husbands in her young age to brain tumors.  It just doesn't seem possible.  It just doesn't make any sense.   How did this happen, twice?? Why??
I mourn with my sister and I love her.  I don't know answers to why this happened to her.  Living in the land of WHY is a sad and lonely place.  I can only trust that God will have answers and that someday all will be made right and hope and pray that through his grace she will be comforted and helped through this almost unbearable trial.





Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Renovations

So much time has passed!  It has been a crazy, fun month.  We've been going 100 mph from dawn to dusk.  So much to report.  I need to go back to work so I can rest!
I'll start back in late May to begin.  We decided to take on some much needed house updates.  We hired a wonderful handyman named Spencer to to rip out our old deck and our old shower in our master bath and put in new ones.  He is a Jack-of-all-trades and can do almost any renovation job that needs to be done.  Our old deck just needed to be replaced after years of serious use and plenty of neglect.  Our shower was the same story.  They were both in need of an update.  Spencer installed a new Trex deck that is guaranteed to last for 20 years.  Awesome! Many good times will be enjoyed (have already been enjoyed) on this new deck.







He also ripped out our old shower and we thought our new Tyvarian shower would be installed within a couple of weeks.  Not so.  The installer WhiteWater has been a joke.  We have been without a shower for almost two months now.  I told them I desperately needed it installed before our family came to visit and we had 18 people in the house.  No go.  Seriously frustrating.  Finally they gave us $750 off the final price, but still.  I would have rather have had it installed timely than to receive the discount.  We wouldn't have ripped out the old one if we would have know it would take this long. FINALLY the walls are installed, but we still have no hardware or a door, so it is still unusable.




The final project has been to de-junk and organize our garage.  That turned out to be a BIG project as we got new shelving and worked to get rid of stuff.  The results are great and now I can find anything I need.  My seasonal decorations (which are substantial) now have a permanent home with new shelving and more organization.  Can I just say that I love organizing things if I have the tools needed to get the job done right?  I love a clean, well-organized garage.  Happiness!









Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Retirement part I

April 30 was my last day of work.  I've meet some wonderful people over those 35 years that I've worked on and off, and some interesting (not so wonderful) people as well.  I've worked about 25 of those years at Brigham Young University.  It's a great place to work, but it also has some draw backs, just like any large institution.

Let's review.  According to my employment record I received from BYU, I started working on August 13, 1979.  I worked full-time until April 2, 1982. I worked in the Advisement Center for the College of Family, Home and Social Sciences as an academic advisor for students who were majoring in Home Economics Education (my major), Clothing and Textiles and Child Development and Family Relationships.  My main duties involved meeting with students and helping them chart their course to graduation and then clearing them to graduate.  I had my own office and used an IBA Selectric typewriter with an interchangeable ball for different fonts and a correction ribbon right in the typewriter.  We all thought those typewriters were cutting edge.
I went through two pregnancies while working full-time.  It was hard to work every day while pregnant and then to leave Jordan with a baby sitter all day.  Rick was in law school during these years.  Some of the people I worked with were Larry T. (my supervisor), Sharon D., Paula H., Omar K., & Merle W.  I liked my job well enough but was happy to move on.  Among other lessons, I learned that some students can be whiners if they don't get their way. I learned to hold my ground and compromise when needed.

Next leg of my journey involved being on call from June 25, 1982 until September 11, 1987.  I worked again in the Advisement center for a time, in the Kennedy Center for International Relations, in the Economics department two times, in the Political Science department two times and as needed with the FHSS Dean's office.  I work a few short-term stints while other secretaries had a baby or underwent surgery or if extra workers were needed.  During this time, our son Dave was born and I had three young children at home. We needed the money, so I took whatever came my way.  I would work for a week or a month here and there, but it was doable. We moved into our first home during these years.  I met a lot more faculty members during this time and enjoyed moving around.  Over 90% of the faculty are wonderful, but the other 10% made life difficult.  I learned that some faculty can be whiners if they don't get their way.  I learned to hold my ground and compromise when needed.
During this time I worked with David M., Scott D., Dennis T.,  (my supervisor) Jim M., Rulon P., and I was sent out on these jobs by the Dean's Administrative Assistant Joyce P.  I worked mostly with men and learned that I would rather work with men than women.  Ha!  My duties were almost exclusively secretarial work.  Computers were just getting established on campus, and each department had a couple of computers that everyone used.  Word processing students were hired to type up documents, tests and papers in a place called...The Word Processing Center.  If someone wanted something typed up on the computer, they had to submit it well in advance. I remember when I heard the very unlikely rumor that in the future all professors would have their own computer in their office.  That seemed laughable!  How could BYU afford to buy every professor their own computer? I learned a lot of new skills during this time.  My first word processing program was Word Star and we used Dos commands.  Then the first Word Perfect word processing program came out and we thought there couldn't be anything better than that.  Little did we know.

I took a break from work from September 1988 (when Andy was born) until September of 1993.  I was home full-time with my kids and I loved it. But expenses started building up and so back to work I went.

In September of 1993 until January of 1995, I taught Home Economics at Independence High school part-time.  I started working when Andy was in pre-school and the other kids were in school all day. I taught two sewing classes and loved it.  Independence HS is an alternative HS and I worked with at-risk kids.  I loved the kids (even though I've never heard such foul language in all my life) but had trouble with the administration.  Long story there, but let's move on.

I went back to BYU on January 3 of 1995 and worked part-time (20 hours a week) until January 13 of 2000.  During these five years I worked in the Dean's office of the College of FHSS.  I was a receptionist and did all the things receptionists do.  I answered the phone, took messages, sorted the mail, filed and organized, made appointments, scheduled travel, ordered lunches, and organized meetings. I also did secretarial support for the New World Archeological Association and set up all their travel plans.  It was kind of a boring job but the hours fit with my family.  I was allowed to work from 10-2, M-F while my kids were in school.  I would get them out the door and then be home before they returned.  I also didn't work during the summer.  Those were perfect hours for a working mother of four, but not the normal hours of a worker at BYU.  I knew I was capable of doing more assignments, but this time the work schedule was more important than the work assignments at this point.  I appreciated Joyce P. and Clayne P. allowing me to work those hours so that I could take care of my kids.  I worked closely with Dean Clayne P.  We was a very nice man who was quite disorganized.  Other people in the office were associate Deans Dennis T., Paul P., Sally B., Jim H., and the full-time administrative assistants Lori S., and Marilyn W.

In January 13 of 2000, a new Dean came on board.  David M., asked me if I would be his AA and work full-time.  I told him I just couldn't do that and take care of my children.  He told me he wanted me to be his AA anyway and he said he would work with me if I would take the job.  I agreed.  I got moved up to a 3/4 position and started qualifying for the master retirement plan.  I got a nice raise and I hired three students to help me essentially do a more than full-time job in 3/4 time.   David had lots of ideas and started immediately creating more work.  I worked for him for seven years until 2007.  These were the busiest years of my life.  I worked hard at work and never got my "to do" list done.  Never.  I was the Relief Society President during this time.  Two of our children went on missions and our daughters married during these years.  Sometimes I thought I would churn into butter.  I literally had every minute of every day fill to the max.  It was stressful, but I loved it.  Dean M. had me start taking on event planning for the college and I really enjoyed it.  I planned and executed graduation exercises for the college.  I planned and executed the inaugural Marjorie Pay Hinckley endowed lecture and chair and got to meet President Gordon B. Hinckley and shake his hand.  Dean M. started a National Advisory Council and I helped a lot to get those gatherings going. We had our first Fulton poster conference I and worked hard on that too.   I met some wonderful people along the way.  Finally, I could plainly see that the Dean needed a full-time person and that I should move on and open up the space. I couldn't keep up that pace much longer.  Robin S. came on board and I trained her to do many of my responsibilities and I took on event planning for the college exclusively.  I loved doing event planning and found my niche in that area. I learned that some administrators can be whiners if they don't get their way.  I learned to hold my ground and compromise when needed.

To be continued...




Sunday, June 7, 2015

Trust in God

Wow.  A month has gone by since my last post.  So much has happened.  Some wonderful happenings and some very hard happenings.  Through it all, I've had a thought go around and around in my head for several weeks.

It is this...I simply trust God.

I do.

I trust that he knows me.  I trust that he loves me.  I trust that he is aware of my situation and of those happenings in the lives of those I love.  I trust that he sees the big picture.  I trust that I can turn to him and that he will hear my prayers, by hopes and dreams and the pleadings of my heart.  I trust that his answers to me will be for my best good.  I trust his outcomes even when (and especially when) I don't understand or agree.  I trust that he will direct my path.

I trust that he knows what he is doing.

Sometimes certain happenings just don't make any sense to me in the here and now.  The suffering, the sinning, the unfairness, the pain, the losses. Oftentimes I can't see the beginning from the end. Sometimes I have to look back to see the Lord's hand manifested in the details of my life and in the lives of those I love.  Living in the moment, they are often too hard to differentiate.  Sometimes I just don't get it and sometimes I do.  Some of the stories in the lives of the people I love around me are still unfolding and some don't look like they will end the way we would like.  But through it all, I trust.
Yes, there is faith, hope and charity.  I believe in those eternal truths too, but to me, trust is the compilation of all three.  At the end of the day, you can believe, hope and love, but if you don't have trust in a higher power who is omniscient, then what is the point?
There are so many things I don't understand and so many things that are a frustration and a trial and hard to bear.

But I trust in God.
I feel his love.
I know he is there.
I see his handiwork.
I feel his kindness, wisdom, goodness and forgiveness.
I put my trust under the shadow of his wings.





Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways, acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy path.
Proverbs 2:5-6

The fear of man bringeth a snare; but whoso putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe.
Proverbs 29:25

How excellent is thy lovingkindness, O God! Therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of thy wings.
Psalm 36:7

Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid; for the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my song, he also has become my salvation. 
2 Nephi 22:2

And thus we can behold how false, and also the unsteadiness of the hearts of the children of men; yea, we can see that the Lord in his great infinite goodness doth bless and prosper those who put their trust in him.
Helaman 12:1

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Another surgery for Jake

Our wonderful son-in-law Jake had another brain surgery on April 29.  Rick and I went down to AZ to help the following day.  It is so hard to see him suffer through multiple surgeries and treatments and so see our daughter suffer right along with him.  It's impossible to make sense of it all. Glioblastoma brain cancer is a very cruel disease.
When we got there, we just jumped in and tried to help with the children and whatever else we could do to lend a hand.  Jordan asked us to deep clean her kitchen so we got to work and scrubbed down walls, cleaned out everything and put it back together again.  Our daughter Claire was able to come over with Lizzie and Will and she was a marvelous help.  Jake's parents also came down and we spend some time comforting each other and trying to comfort our children and help them.  Did I say this is hard?  The hundreds (thousands?) of prayers that were offered for this little family were felt and they gave comfort. We are so grateful to good people everywhere who are supporting Jake and Jordan and their family in any way they can.  Beautiful flowers arrived from my sister Mary Ann and her husband Trace.  So many people have reached out that I can't even begin to mention.
Jake is a wonder.  He bounces back from brain surgery very well and within three days we was sitting on the side lines of his daughters soccer and volleyball games.  He has such a strong will to live and to live as normally as possible.  He strengthens those around him when we should be strengthening him.  He is goodness from head to toe and all parts in-between.  To say he is a wonderful husband and father would be an understatement.  We marvel at his strength, courage and determination to do all in his power to keep going.  What an example he and Jordan are to us all, even when they don't want to be in that position.
I stayed almost six days and we had some good times as well.  Retail therapy always helps and a visit to a Scottsdale mall and to Last Chance is just what the doctor ordered.  The six cousins enjoyed themselves playing in the pool, jumping on the tramp and going on some bike rides.
The comfort of family and feeling of their strength and support is like a calming balm to me.  Prayers and blessings were offered and it just helped everyone being together.  I love my dear daughter Jordan and her Jacob.  They are celebrating their 11th wedding anniversary this weekend.  Their love for one another is exemplary.  They are truly two parts of a whole and when one part is going through something, the other part feels it too.  We all pray that the comfort and peace of the atonement will rest over them and give them the strength they need to continue to put their trust in God.

Will helping to deep clean the table and chairs

Soccer champ Ellie playing the game she loves

Tommy give Ellie a love and Jake attending his daughter's soccer
 game just three days after brain surgery.  He amazes us all.

Ellie and her coach

Cousins who are just 22 hours apart in age.
They love each other.

and love to get silly.

Swim time watching all six children. Lauren and Ellie are amazing swimmers.

Love my Jake and Jordan.  Truly.

Will on his scooter bike.  He is amazing on that thing.

Off they go.  Will, Ada and Lizzie with Tommy supervising.

Cutest one year old around.  Love this little man.
Miss Lauren showing us how it is done in volleyball.