Some thoughts on trials

I taught a lesson to the girls in our neighborhood ward at church yesterday on overcoming adversity.  I learned a lot as I usually do when I prepare a lesson.  Here are some of my favorite parts from the lesson found HERE.

When some people face adversity, they complain and become bitter.
They ask questions like,
“Why does this have to happen to me? Why do
I have to suffer this now? What have I done to deserve this?”
But these questions have the power to dominate their
thoughts. Such questions can overtake their vision, absorb
their energy, and deprive them of the experiences the Lord
wants them to receive. Rather than responding in this way,
consider asking questions such as,
“What am I to do? What am I to learn from this
experience? What am I to change? Whom am I to help? How
can I remember my many blessings in times of trial?”
Different kinds of adversity require different responses.

When you trust in the Father and the Son, you are confident
that They love you perfectly—that They want you to be
happy and that They will help you grow spiritually. You keep
the commandments. You seek to know Their will, and you do
what They require even when you desire something else.
Your prayers for relief are accompanied by the understanding
that Heavenly Father will not resolve all matters immediately—
that He may allow you to wait so you can continue
to learn and grow. Through it all, you find comfort in the
assurance that the Savior understands your trials perfectly.
As part of His infinite Atonement, He took upon Himself
“the pains and the sicknesses of his people.” He took upon
Himself “their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with
mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to
the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities”
(Alma 7:11–12). Because He has experienced your pain,
He knows how to help you. If you look to Him in faith, He
will strengthen you to withstand any trial you experience. 
“Adversity,” True to the Faith (2004), 8–11

The Savior has suffered not just for our iniquities but also for the inequality, the unfairness, the pain, the anguish, and the emotional distresses that so frequently beset us. There is no physical pain, no anguish of soul, no suffering of spirit, no infirmity or weakness that you or I ever experience during our mortal journey that the Savior did not experience first. You and I in a moment of weakness may cry out, “No one understands. No one knows.” No human being, perhaps, knows. But the Son of God perfectly knows and understands, for He felt and bore our burdens before we ever did. And because He paid the ultimate price and bore that burden, He has perfect empathy and can extend to us His arm of mercy in so many phases of our life. He can reach out, touch, succor—literally run to us—and strengthen us to be more than we could ever be and help us to do that which we could never do through relying upon only our own power. David A. Bednar, “The Atonement and the Journey of Mortality,” Ensign, Apr. 2012, 40–47

I'm grateful for the knowledge that I have that I am not alone, that God hears and answers my prayers, that the Savior understands my trials and pain and that through Him I can be comforted with peace and assurance that all is well, come what may.  It's like putting a warm, soft blanket around my shoulders when I feel cold, or alone, or anxious, or afraid.  The comfort I feel from the love of the Savior is like wrapping up in a warm blanket on a cold night.  I'm like a rough stone rolling that needs the refining process of adversity to become all that He would want me to become.   It's a process and I have a long way to go, but I understand the goal and I'm working to submit my will to His.

Dixie cup conversion story

I was raised on a farm in Idaho, right?  We didn't have a lot of conveniences and we basically lived off the land.  We grew our own food, raised our own beef and milked the cows right along with the best of them.  We worked from sun up to sun down.  We picked raspberries until our fingers bled. We slept out in the summer and got a bazillion mosquito bites.  We woke to the sound of magpies squawking at the first sign of the new day.  We swam in the murky waters of the Snake River when our dad flood irrigated our 40 acre farm and you would have thought that we had just spent a day at 7 Peaks Water Park.  Our pets lived off of table scraps and never came in the house. We were terribly tough folks.  And we didn't use Dixie cups in the bath room.  We just used our hands (clean or dirty) to scoop the water in the bathroom sink to rinse our mouths after brushing or to get a drink.  (Some of the above statements could be considered a bit exaggerated, but not the part about the Dixie cups.)

A few years ago I visited my fancy California friend Marcy in her home in Palm Desert.  We had a glorious time enjoying a girlfriend weekend.  Marcy was the perfect hostess and I noticed something different in her home that I had never had in my home or in any home I had lived in.  Dixie cups.  She had a tidy little dispenser attached to the wall in the guest bathroom with a stack of those cute little Dixie cups all ready to be dispensed on a moments notice.  One morning I was talking to her in her bathroom while she was brushing her teeth.  To rinse her mouth, she grabbed a little Dixie cup from the dispenser and daintily filled it with water and use it to rinse her mouth. Her hand remained dry and she didn't ruin half of her make up having water drip down her chin. I thought this was amazing and took note of it.  I returned to the guest bathroom where I was staying and brushed my teeth.  To rinse, I did what I've done for over 50 years.  I filled my hand with water and sucked it up into my mouth, swished and spit it out.  My hand was wet and I had water dripping down my face.  Even though there was a cute little Dixie cup dispenser on the wall, I didn't want to be to presumptive and assume that I could use one of them. I figured that only sophisticated California girls used such conveniences. 

Over the years, we've had some adventures with the bathroom water supply.  First off, my husband insists that bathroom water isn't as good as kitchen water.  He rarely if ever drinks water from the bathroom sink.  However, when our small children would request a drink from their beds, he would go into the bathroom and find whatever container he could find to take them a drink.  Sometimes it would be the lid of the toothpaste, other times the lid of the hairspray can.  If only we had had a nice Dixie cup dispenser on the wall.

Now in my advancing years, I've come to the conclusion that I am worthy of a Dixie cup dispenser and I went right ahead and bought myself one.  For $6.32.  100 refill cups cost $2.45.  This is a simple pleasure that I've been denying myself far too long and I deserve it, right?

Andy pops the question!

We are so excited that our son Andy is getting married to his sweetheart Chelsea.  He popped the question last Saturday night.  He took her to dinner at the Tree Room at Sundance and after dinner they drove down the canyon to the secluded Nunn's park where his cousin Sydney and her husband Adam had set up the engagement area to create the ambiance Andy wanted for the special event.  Syd took about 200 pictures on her fancy camera and really captured the special moment.  They had spread out Andy's tee shirt quilt on the snow and Chelsea said that she loved that symbolism.  The quilt has blocks that represent all the things he has done in his life up to a point and she felt like he was welcoming her to join his life and to make their own history together.  It was terribly romantic and such a special evening for them.  We're so happy to welcome Chelsea into our family and look forward to their marriage and wedding celebrations coming up in June.  They will be married June 14 in the Los Angeles LDS temple and have a ring ceremony following that day at a beautiful beach venue in Malibu.  They will honeymoon for a week and then return home to celebrate on June 22 at a venue in Provo Canyon. Andy is so happy to celebrate his marriage at the beach and in the mountains, his two favorite locations.  We are so proud of them both and love them a lot. Good times they are a comin!

Loving me some Downton Abbey humor

I credit my daughter Claire for introducing me to Downton Abbey.  She started watching it right from the start and got me hooked early into season two. And the rest they say, is history.

33 treatments...and done!!! *

Today was my LAST radiation treatment.  Hooray!!! They started on January 7 and I have gone in every day at 2:30 pm Monday-Friday since then.  The first 25 treatments were to my upper chest area where the tumor was located and the last 8 treatments have been what they refer to as a "boost" that is concentrated in an oval shape right on the surgery area.  I got two doses of radiation from each side from the radiation machine for the first 25 treatments and then directly down into the surgery area for the last 8.  The side effects have been manageable - fatigue, redness, peeling, some general discomfort to the radiated area and some occasional pin prick pains in the radiated area.  I think they have figured out that radiating from each side causes fewer side effects, rather than directing the radiation directly in to the body for all 33 treatments.  My white blood cell counts have gone down, but they should rebound in the next couple of weeks once treatment stops.  Dr. Clark the oncologist radiologist has been wonderful as well as his staff who I have seen every day for the last 33 days.  They are kind people who are perfectly suited to the job they do every day.

I've now finished the triathlon!  Surgery.  Chemotherapy.  Radiation.  I had surgery on July 20, 2012 and now I finish radiation on February 20, 2013 exactly 7 months later.  The oncologist and the radiologist will continue to be check my blood for any signs of the cancer returning and I will have several mammograms this year to make sure that all is well.  The doctors both reiterated that they feel like I have an excellent chance (90%) of no re-occurrence since the cancer was caught so early and it was only a stage I cancer.  We'll continue to hope and pray that that is the case.

So now, on to celebrate the end of treatment!  I'm going to give myself a couple of weeks to get stronger and then I'm ready to party.  They say that it takes about a year to get regular strength and energy back, so I'm giving myself time to heal.

Rick and his mother are throwing me a party!  It will be near my 58th birthday as well.  It will be an open house to Celebrate Life on Saturday, March 9 from 2-4 pm.  All friends and family are invited. If you want more information, just let me know. The end of treatment really is cause to put a HUGE smile on my face.  I'm so grateful I survived it.  I'm grateful for what I've learned along the way.  I'm grateful for ALL the many people who have supported me and helped me get through it.  I'm just grateful.

*I will still continue to receive my Herceptin infusions through my port every 3 weeks until August.  They will continue for one year from the time they started in August of 2012.  While the drug doesn't cause any major side effects, it can cause heart damage, so I will continue to get periodic echo cardiograms to make sure my heart is staying strong.  After that time, I can get the port removed from my chest.