A life well lived

My sweet father-in-law just published his autobiography! He has been working on it since I first met him over 30 years ago. It's been a labor of love and many, many people have helped to make it happen. He and Rick went down to the BYU press a couple of weeks ago to pick up the 100 or so copies that were printed in a hard bound volume that is of course in Cougar Blue. He wrote the entire manuscript by hand over the years and many people have helped transcribe his writing in to a word processed document.
It's an amazing book of 414 pages that takes the reader on an incredible journey through the life of a man who has lived for 87 years. It is extremely well written, clever, humorous, direct, honest, very interesting and quite inspirational. It's entitled

Yale Avenue Kid
an Autobiography
VBR

The chapters go like this:
Chapter 1 - The Boy
Chapter 2 - The Soldier (WW II vet who saw heavy fighting in the Pacific Theater)
Chapter 3 - Enter Particia
Chapter 4 - The Missionary
Chapter 5 - A Wife and Washington
Chapter 6 - A Dozen Good Years
Chapter 7 - Bishop, Politician, Little League Coach
Chapter 8 - Big Decisions, Big Changes
Chapter 9 - Missionary Kids, Exit Politician and Bishop
Chapter 10 - Back to the Real World: Over the Point of the Mountain
Chapter 11 - Still Going
Chapter 12 - 1990
Chapter 13 - Three Score and Ten
Chapter 14 - West Virginia
Chapter 15 - The Jewel
Chapter 16 - Not My Best Years
Chapter 17 - Patriarch, Traveling Man, Rowena
Chapter 18 - Decider, Believer
Epilogue
Ancestors and Descendants

He gave copies to each of us and to our children. They have already started to devour their copies and I've been told that our two sons-in-law have already read the volume cover to cover. It's been a labor of love and my mother-in-law deserves a lot of credit for helping make it happen. It has wonderful pictures in it and some treasured family stories. He left us all a great legacy through the written word, telling it like it is/was. His faith and testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ shines through and it is a very interesting book to read. Well done VBR!

Interesting research

As I've mentioned before, I am surrounded by interesting research on family topics. Last night I went to this interesting lecture, the Virginia Cutler annual lecture given by Professor Busby about LDS married couples and their habits and beliefs compared to other religious couples. The lecture was recorded and at some point I'll post the link. It was very thought provoking to learn more about the dating habits, length of courtship, commitment to marriage, marital age, sexual habits and overall happiness reported by over 40,000 married religious couples over the course of many years.

Also out this week is a report about the link between the use of profanity and relational aggression. "Exposure to profanity is associated with acceptance and use of profanity, which in turn influence both physical and relational aggression." And further "“This research shows that profanity is not harmless,” said Bushman, a mass communications professor. “Children exposed to profanity in the media think that such language is ‘normal,’ which may reduce their inhibitions about using profanity themselves. And children who use profanity are more likely to aggress against others. These are very important findings for parents, teachers, and pediatricians.”

And lastly, a report about materialism in marriage call "Can't Buy Me Love." It finds that the more money a couple has, the more likely that couple is to have marital problems. It measured how much various couples value having "lots of money" and "lots of things."
“Couples where both spouses are materialistic were worse off on nearly every measure we looked at,” said Jason Carroll, a BYU professor of family life and lead author of the study. “There is a pervasive pattern in the data of eroding communication, poor conflict resolution and low responsiveness to each other.”

“Sometimes people can deceive themselves about how important their relationships are to them,” Carroll said. “It’s helpful to step back and look at where you focus your time.”

I drew these conclusions:

• Observing religious codes and conduct helps a couple achieve more marital satisfaction and longevity than not observing any religious practices. Religion helps couples understand the bigger picture and helps them establish codes of conduct and it gives them something to strive for in maintaining their family unit. LDS couples who believe in the Temple Covenant are more likely to work towards achieving that goal and in the process their family life can be more meaningful.
  

• Watch, monitor and edit what language is being used on TV programs that you watch. It will affect your children and yourself in ways you may not even imagine.

• Don't make the pursuit of wealth a goal. Money isn't evil, it is what it often does to people that makes it a stumbling block. Be cautious in the desire for "things" and lots of money. Money and things do not define a person's worth. As a subtext, too much money often destroys the children of wealthy parents who don't learn to work and to be self sufficient. They often have a sense of entitlement and that makes it hard to establish their own self worth and their own achievements. Money could well be the root of all evil, but a certain amount of it is needed to live a happy life. Researchers figure that amount is about $75,000 a year for a family. "The lower a person's annual income falls below that benchmark, the unhappier he or she feels. But no matter how much more than $75,000 people make, they don't report any greater degree of happiness."
  
  Read more: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2019628,00.html#ixzz1bRSNlY2R
  

I just finished reading a biography of Madame Marie Curie, the scientist who was awarded two Nobel Prizes for her work in discovering radioactivity (a word she coined) and the elements of radium and polonium. She despised wealth and wealthy people. She avoided all the trappings of the display of wealth. She sought her riches in intellectual development and not in the acquisition and display of wealth. She and her husband Pierre freely shared their precious radium samples with other researchers who could benefit from their discoveries. They could have made millions by selling their knowledge and their discoveries, but they shunned that type of use of wealth. Their marriage was strong and they found their passion in working on joint research projects and in raising their two young girls. The Beatles got it right when they sang "Can't Buy Me Love." It was a very thought provoking book.

An early birthday party

October 27 - Ada Claire #2
October 28 - Skippy #2
October 29 - V IV #27

Since I was in already in town, I decided to throw an early surprise birthday party for the three October birthday kids. Dave and Courtney, my Mom and David and my brother Paul were able to come while Claire was still in town with Skippy. The girls helped Claire decorate with crepe paper and balloons and we had dinner with cake and ice cream. The twin cousins enjoyed their gifts and I think that V IV was pleased with his as well even if they were a little small. A good time was had by all.

Things I had forgotten

• The magical power of a band- aid
• How completely wonderful it can be to read a new kids book for the first time and listen to two little girls laugh like crazy at the adventures and funny names like "Gus Vallony" in Junie B. Jones, or to follow the adventures of Laura Ingalls in "Little House on the Prairie"
• How long it takes to get ready for bed with bath time, teeth cleaning time, story time, prayers, song time x 3 - an hour at least
  
• That is matters a lot what color your cup is or your plastic plate or bowl when you eat. The color pink is the best color and was almost always the coveted item
• How wonderful it was to hold a little 1 year old (almost two) who has just had her bath and who is in her clean jammies, snuggle and sing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" at the top of her lungs at bedtime
• Driving a mini van. I drove two in my day. Jord's van is lovely and it has some real get-up -and-go. What I dislike is the constant buckling and unbuckling of the car seats, but I know they are a necessary evil. It's a chore to get out and go with three little girls tagging along. Plus you also need to take 3 sippy cups and 3 little snacks if it is a drive of more than half an hour.
  
• The strong smell from a pail of dirty diapers that can knock you off your feet
• How quickly a clean room can turn to a messy room when three little girls are enjoying a day of play. I decided to just let it go for 2 1/2 days and it looked like a bomb went off. What's the point of picking it up every night just to do it again the next day? Is it just for woman pride/clean house pride or what? I just couldn't muster the energy to pick it up every day, even with the girls helping.
  

• How much delight they take in doing simple things like decorating cupcakes or drawing pictures on the sidewalk with chalk

• How much pleasure little girls have at bath time, just playing and playing with their toys and laughing and splashing (and splashing, and splashing!)
• The foods that little kids eat, like the good-ole standbys of mac and cheese, PB&J, top roman noodles, cereal, go-gurt, string cheese or the more exotic favorites of pickles, humus, broccoli, cherry tomatoes, avocados, salt and vinegar Pringles, edamame or stir-fry.
• How much I appreciated having my husband come and help me over one weekend. He played and played with the girls and they just loved having him around. So did I. Courtney and Dave came over several times and they were a HUGE help as well.
  

• How wonderful it is when everyone goes to bed and the house is quiet
• How they monitor who gets the biggest, the most, the best and who's turn it is to do something first
• How much they LOVE playing with their cousin Skippy and watching her blog videos over and over and over. Claire and Skippy started tending the girls the first two days and then we overlapped one day. It was fun to have the cousins together again.
  

• How sweetly they help each other and play together for hours and hours on end. It was so sweet to see a little 1 year old (almost 2) play house with her three year old sister (who is almost 4) and call her "Momma" and for "Momma" to call her little sister "Baby"
• To see their concern when someone gets an "owie"
• To listen to their sweet, simple, sincere prayers & to listen to them repeat some scriptures while eating breakfast
• How annoying the DVD of "Elmo's World" can be
  
• That is takes A LOT of energy to keep up with everything and that I'm so proud of Jordan and Jake for the job they are doing in raising our little granddaughters
  
• hearing the words "I love you Grandma" and "Grandma will you play with me?" and "thank you Grandma." And the best of all the phrase that just melted my heart and made it worth taking care of them for 9 days..."I don't want you to go home Grandma."
• it was also great to hear that the children in the kindergarten carpool thought I was Lauren's aunt (that I couldn't be her Grandma because I wasn't old enough) and that the lady next door thought that I was Jordan's older sister. Cool.
  

I love my little granddaughters so very much! I love being their Grandma and I love that they call me Grandma. It's a title I cherish.

10-11-11

Progress report to keep me motivated.
11 in 11

1. visit 11 temples this year and do the the temple work for at least 22 of our departed ancestors - COMPLETED July 2011

• 1. Provo, Utah temple-10 sealings for couples and sons
• 2. Provo, Utah temple - 5 initiatory
• 3. Albuquerque, New Mexico temple - 5 initiatory
• 4. Mesa, Arizona temple - 1 endowment
• 5. Laie, Hawaii temple - 1 endowment
• 6. St. George, Utah temple - 1 endowment
• 7. Provo, Utah temple - 8 sealings for couples, 4 sons (Rick), 3 daughters
• 8. San Diego temple - 1 sealing for couples, 3 daughters
• 9. Provo, Utah temple - 14 baptisms for women, 14 confirmations
• 10. Provo, Utah temple - 3 sealings for couples, five sons (Rick), five daughters
• 11. Provo, Utah temple - 1 endowment
• 12. Provo, Utah temple - 2 sealings for couples, 8 sons
• 13. Provo, Utah temple 2 sealings for couples, 4 sons
• 14. Provo, Utah temple 1 endowment
• 15. Provo, UT temple 3 sealings for couples, 5 daughters
  

2. lose 11 pounds

3. read 11 books - COMPLETED September 2011

• 1. The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks
• 2. Heidi (a childhood favorite - loved reading it again)
• 3. Same Kind of Different as Me
• 4. The Forgotten Garden
• 5. Jane Eyre
• 6. The Book Thief
• 7. Believing Christ
• 8. The Hunger Games
• 9. Catching Fire
  
• 10. Mockingjay
  
• 11. Rebel (book on tape while driving through the south, which lasted 16 hours!)

4. organize & label 11 of our family photo books - COMPLETED October 2011

• completed 4 books, starting in 1976 through 1982
• completed 7 books, starting in 2006-2011
  

5. visit 11 elderly people - COMPLETED August 2011

• 1. G.G. 2. G.D.E. 3. M. Y. 4. L. B. 5. V. B. R. 6. D. F. 7. A. E. 8. U. R. 8. A. L. 9. U. V. 10. L. C. 11. S. C. 12. P. P. R.
  

6. sew 11 items and give them away

• 1 skirt for Skippy, 1 blanket for Skippy, 1 skirt of Lauren, 1 skirt for Ellie, 1 skirt for Ada, 2 aprons for Skippy, 1 skirt for Skippy, 1 jumper for Kindergarten Lauren

7. go with Rick to visit 11 new places - COMPLETED September 2011

• 1. drove around Utah Lake for the first time
• 2. North shore Oahu, Hawaii - including Waimea, Haleiwa & Sunset beach
  
• 3. Hike to Diamond head, Hawaii
• 4. West shore Oahu, Hawaii - including Waianae, Maili & Ko Olina bay
• 5. Legoland, California
• 6. PETCO stadium, San Diego California
• 7. Mississippi - Jackson, Oxford
• 8. Tennessee - Memphis, Nashville, Knoxville
• 9. Kentucky - Bowling Green
  
• 10. North Carolina - Great Smoky Mountains, Asheville
• 11. South Carolina - Spartanburg, Greenville
• 12. Georgia - Atlanta, Athens
• 13. Alabama - Birmingham
• 14. Arkansas - Little Rock
• 15. Texas - Keller, Austin

8. send birthday cards to 11 people I don't normally send to - COMPLETED October 2011

• 1. A. K. 2. A. K. 3. D. A. 4. D. R. 5. D. S. 6. G. G. 7. T. S. 8. D. G. 9. M. J. 10. L. C. R. 11. H.F.
  

9. watch 11 old movies that I love but haven't seen for awhile - COMPLETED September 2011

• 1. Dances with Wolves
• 2. First Knight
• 3. Mama Mia
• 4. Groundhog Day
• 5. A River Runs Through It
• 6. October Sky
• 7. The Little Princess with Shirley Temple
• 8. Father of the Bride
• 9. Emma
• 10. Wuthering Heights
• 11. Fried Green Tomatoes
• 12. Gone With the Wind
• 13. Steel Magnolias
• 14. National Treasure
  

10. make 11 new recipes

• 1. Lentil soup (won't be making this again - it wasn't a hit with the husband)
• 2. Ziti Primavera
• 3. Cinnamon rolls (new recipe)
• 4. Easter Dessert
• 5. oriental chicken in the crock pot
• 6. Grilled chicken southwestern salad (from Jordan)
• 7. Fast Easy Bread, cinnamon rolls, monkey bread, crescent rolls with Lindsey!!
• 8. Shirley J, using the Universal sauce for beef stroganoff & broccoli cheese soup
• 9. Southern cooking from Mary Mac's cookbook - fried chicken, fresh creamed corn, peach cobbler, peach pancakes
  

11. invite 11 groups of people over for dinner - COMPLETED July 2011

• 1. Lacey & friends, Pat & Vern
• 2. Valentine dinner with the Mark & Colleen, Trent & Kelley
• 3. Cleofon group of women for luncheon
• 4. Ryan, Jill and Corbin C.
• 5. Dave's friends from college - Erick & Sam, Bryan & Kelly, Danny & Danielle, Kyle & Kayla
• 6. Cousin Margaret & family
• 7. Niece Syd & Adam, Danny & Danielle, Romney, Jesse
• 8. Ryan & Jill, Corbin & Loni (BBQ outside)
• 9. Denise, Lacey & family
• 10. Adam and Crissa
• 11. Lindsey R. and her four darling daughters, Corbin
• 12. 4th of July BBQ - 70 family and friends
• 13. Ben and Melissa
• 14. Mom, David, Diane, Syd, Adam, Bishop and Becca
• 15. Dustin, Daelynn, MacKinley, Lucy, Syd, Adam
• 16. Margie, Ann, Brian, Robyn, Doug, Deborah, Pat & Vern (for Pat's birthday dinner)