Legacy

Today is my Mom's 83 birthday!

Happy Birthday Mother Dear!!!

Last year I wrote a tribute post about Mom and you can read it here if interested.
This year I wanted to give my Mom a shout out for being a strong link in the chain. That's right. She has handed down to us a great legacy from her ancestors and I'm so proud of the family she came from, on both her mother's side and her father's side. These relatives on my mom's side don't often get the credit, attention and honor that they so richly deserve. I'll be forever grateful to these pioneers who left their comforts and their way of life in Switzerland & Denmark and who made the voyage to a new land and a new religion, traversing half the planet by sea and by covered wagon to practice their religion according to the dictates of their own conscience.
My Mom and her husband David live in Utah half of the year and in Arizona the other half. They take the best weather months in both states and make it their home during that time. Right before she left Utah for AZ this fall, she prepared a wonderful family gathering to teach us more about our ancestors on her side of the family. She made a wonderful meal and she served it in the pavilion near their home. She carefully researched and prepared an interesting and meaningful program. Here are the questions she asked on a little handout she gave us before her presentation:
1500 years ago what covered this valley where our ancestors settled?
Why was it called Cache valley?
What year did our ancestors first come here and from where?
What were their names?
How many wives did Grandpa ________ have? What was his occupation?
How did they contribute to the building of the community?
What was her (my Mom's) grandfather and grandmother named?
What did they do?
What were her parents names? What did they do for a living and with their time?
How are she and my Dad related? (other than being husband and wife)

By the end of her family history lesson, we knew a lot more about our ancestors and I'm so appreciative of Mom for doing this! I'm glad I has there to hear Mom give her lesson and I only wish my kids could have been there too. Maybe she will consent to giving that presentation to our family when we are together again. If you want to know the answers to these questions, then you'll have to contact Grandma Mary! She is indeed a strong link in the chain of ancestors who accepted the restored gospel of Jesus Christ and made the journey from their homeland to be with the saints of God and start a new life. Mom has passed the torch to us her children and grandchildren and that torch is burning brightly. She shared her thoughts, her testimony and her love for each of us that day of the program. Thanks for your example, your strength, your courage, your determination, your wit and your good nature Mom. We love you very much.



In our immediate family Mom has 7 children, 7 in-law children, 23 grand children and 29 great-grand children. She is also Grandma to her husbands families. Three little great grand girls were born in the last couple of weeks and in this picture she is holding little Ada Claire born on October 27.

Ground Zero

This is a picture of the NYC skyline I took 11 years ago from the ferry boat that we rode over to Brooklyn. It was quite a view of the city, with the Twin Towers predominately on display.


While we were in NYC a month ago, Rick and I had the opportunity one night to walk completely around the Ground Zero area in the financial district. First of all, I was amazed by the size and scope of the area. It was larger than I had imagined. Since we haven't been to NYC since the spring of 1998, I had not seen the skyline without the twin towers. It looks empty now without them. We were interested to see that the site is currently being renovated and that new buildings are memorials are rising out of the dust where the towers fell that day on 9.11.01. Even though we walked around at night and many people where getting off work and bustling around, it was a solemn feeling to stand right on the spot where so many lives where lost. My heart goes out to those innocent people and their families who were so brutally attacked on that infamous day.

We learned about some interesting web sites. Check out these:
The National 911 memorial web site HERE. including a construction web cam to see the progress on the 911 memorial being built. World Trade Center progress HERE. including some very interesting video clips and tributes to people who lost their lives that day HERE.
The memorial seems like a fitting tribute to the people who lost their lives that day. A water feature that does down into the ground is symbolic to me of the deep wound that was inflicted on our nation that day by our enemies. I hope we will always remember those who were lost, those who risked their lives for others and that our freedoms and way of life are fragile, even when they are strong. I will always remember 911 as the sneak attacks that punctured the myth of American invincibility.
This from the web site: The memorial will remember and honor the nearly three thousand people who died in the horrific attacks of February 26, 1993, and September 11, 2001. The Memorial will consist of two massive pools set within the footprints of the Twin Towers with the largest manmade waterfalls in the country cascading down their sides. They will be a powerful reminder of the Twin Towers and of the unprecedented loss of life from an attack on our soil.

The names of the nearly 3,000 individuals who were killed in the September 11 attacks in New York City, Pennsylvania, and at the Pentagon, and the February 1993 World Trade Center bombing will be inscribed around the edges of the Memorial pools.

Rendering by Squared Design Lab


The Memorial pools will each be nearly one-acre in size. The names of the victims will be inscribed on parapets surrounding the pools, within groupings that will allow for family members, friends, and co-workers who shared life’s journey and perished together to have their names listed side by side.

An eight-acre landscaped Memorial Plaza filled with nearly 400 trees will create a contemplative space separate from the sights and sounds of the surrounding city.

The Memorial design, created by architect Michael Arad and landscape architect Peter Walker, was selected from a design competition that included more than 5,200 entrants from 63 nations.

Words of wisdom

When Rick was called to serve at the MTC, we were assigned to serve in a branch that was lead by Ted Lyon. President Lyon is a retired BYU Spanish professor, a former mission president in Chile, a former MTC president in Chile and he and Cheryl are now serving as the temple president and matron of the temple in Chile. We got to be good friends with them. He sends us emails that are always so interesting and thought provoking. What follows are his thoughts on the "nature vs. nurture" theory that I frequently think about (and yes Claire, talk about as well) in regard to raising children. I think he may be on to something here. See what you think...

Dear friends,
I'm not even sure why I am writing this short essay, but it's likely because the thoughts have been dancing around in my head for some time and likely won't leave me in peace until I put them down on paper. Read on if you choose.
Somewhere in the late 50s or early 60s President McKay put forth the statement that "No other success in life can compensate for failure in the home." We liked the concept - we all wanted to be successful in our homes, and see our children achieving success. The statement was repeated often, with some variations (I believe Pres. Harold B. Lee said "The most important work you do will be within the walls of your own home'). As our children came to us, in the 60s and 70s, we truly worked very hard to make this oft-repeated gospel maxim a reality. We held our family home evenings, prayed as a family, read scriptures together frequently, took our children camping, involved them in yard work, assigned them chores around the house and yard, and did all that we knew how to do, to make a successful home. We all tried, hard, often recalling the wise statements of Church leaders as we sacrificed for our families.
In the 1970s I was called to serve on the Church Family Home Evening Writing Committee, creating the lessons that used to come out in a new FHE manual each year. One year, 1975 as I recall, we had completed all the lessons and were just finishing up the details, one of which was editing the introductory preface. This preface was always signed by the First Presidency, and so for their approval we simply submitted the same wording as the previous year. A few days later we got the preface back, and a whole sentence had been crossed out. That sentence, from the ''74 manual, concluded with something like, "And inasmuch as parents hold regular family home evenings we promise that not a single one of their children will go astray" (that may not have been the exact wording, but it's very close). We were told that the sentence should not be included because the First Presidency felt that they would be making a promise that could not be kept. We were told that they had already had many upset parents who had written or talked to them telling that they had held FHE faithfully and they were still "losing" their children. So, that sentence no longer appeared in the new manuals from that point on.
My own wonderful home was quite different from the ideals now wisely encouraged by the Church. We never held a formal home evening; family prayer was a rarity, usually just before 7 of us large boys or men approached the small table (and we grumbled, at least under our breath, about having to kneel, and encouraged the voice to be brief). It was usually Mom who "reminded" Dad to have us kneel on the hard kitchen floor. Only a handful of times did we read scriptures together, and I never recall my parents pushing me to read scriptures on my own count (although after age 16 I often did, just before turning out the light). But we attended Church (not 'together' very often, because Dad was always away, speaking in wards throughout the valley and state). We had lively discussions at the dinner table (that sometimes dealt with Church topics). So, despite all the things we didn't do, I feel that I grew up in very successful home (evidenced by sons serving missions, going to college, getting responsible jobs, and all and always serving in the Church).
Now, I don't think we hear this statement "No other success...." much anymore. I think many in the Church hierarchy have come to realize that it's been a great guilt-feeder, that is, it has made parents feel depressingly guilty for things they really should not, and must not feel guilty about, for things they cannot control. These days we hear a talk by Elder Bednar (ain't he great and creative?) saying express love and show it, bear testimony and live it, and be consistent. He simply said to be more diligent and concerned at home. And my parents certainly did those things. Pres. Uctdorf warns us against worldly pursuits at the expense of family and tells us that "the righteous work we do within the walls of our homes is most sacred" - and to not neglect it. These are the current statements of prophets which we must live by today. I hate to feel guilt created by the actions of others, when I think I have been consistent, have shown as much love as I can, and have tried to live my testimony.
In our BYU honors colloquium the (way too) old argument occasionally came up, over whether our individual nature is determined by (1) genes or (2) environment; the worn out concept of Darwin or Behaviorism, the nature/nurture thing. I believe that our lives, and those of our children are more complex than that simple dichotomy. I came up with my own basis for human nature, that it's made up of at least four sources, or forces: (1) genes, yes they certainly affect our lives, (2) the nurture of home, village, country, etc., (3) the divine nature our individual spirit and 'intelligence' brought with us, and finally (4) self determination and moral will. Perhaps there's more. But the home environment is just one of four powers in this complex picture. I do not think that parents can or should feel guilty for the poor choices (my #4) of their children, who have been privileged with moral agency. Each child is so different in what he or she brings (#3) from another realm. For example, our oldest son recalls a home filled with rules of what he could and could not do; his nearest sibling recalls no rules at all, but rather the joy of parental trust and freedom. What made the difference? Likely the genes and the divine spirit with which each came. I suppose I'm saying that there is so much we don't know about our divine children and how to deal with each. They are morally responsible, and usually make good choices. Some don't, but it's long past time for parents to drop the guilt for actions of children who grew up in a good home (#2), and decided to do other things (#3,# 4, perhaps even #1). And further, adult children change, life isn't set for anyone, forever consigned to outer darkness or failure, at least not until the fat lady sings, or Christ comes quickly.
I'll end here. I hope this has stimulated your thoughts and spirits. Ted L

Creative outlet

Most of the women I know have some sort of creative outlet that they enjoy. They like to write, clean and organize their homes, decorate, share some sort of musical talent, do hand work like knitting, crochet or stitching, garden, cook, sew, design, scrapbook, create artwork, put things together, take photographs, teach and share their talents (just to name a few.) I guess it's not exactly news that women who have one or more of these outlets, usually are happier and more fulfilled. I just think that women like to better the place where they are and make it nicer than it was. I admire the wonderful talents and skills of so many women. I'm amazed by what they can do with their hands, their minds and their bodies.

At the last general Relief Society meeting President Dieter F. Uchtdorf said:

"The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul. No matter our talents, education, backgrounds, or abilities, we each have an inherent wish to create something that did not exist before.

Everyone can create. You don’t need money, position, or influence in order to create something of substance or beauty.

Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment. We develop ourselves and others when we take unorganized matter into our hands and mold it into something of beauty..."

While I was in the homes of our two daughters over these last 10 days, I had the opportunity to create some sewing items. That is my medium...fabric. I love to sew. I look forward to the time when I can do more of it. I love to pick out the fabrics, envision what it will look like, figure out how to assemble it, overcome challenges, work with what I have and make a successful final product. I'm not a fan of a seam ripper, so I will do most anything to avoid taking stitching out once it is in. I love to assemble things and to touch the fabrics and turn them into a finished product. Sewing is like assembling a huge jigsaw puzzle, only you can actually use the finished product. I had the chance to do a lot of creating on this last trip. It made me feel good to use my creative juices in producing needed and useful items for our two new granddaughters. Skippy got new curtains, bumper pad, rag quilt and changing table covers. Ada got a new rag quilt and part of her blessing dress that her mother wanted me to do (she'll finish the rest herself.) Claire's home got some new sun shades and matching couch pillows as well. Being creative in a lot of different areas is fun and I enjoy it, but I think my particular skill is with sewing. Oh, and a bit of advice in regards to sewing: one word...Bernina. I'm a firm believer in using the right tool for a project. Crappy tools make for a frustrating experience as far as I'm concerned.

While I'm on the topic of creativity, check out this BEAUTIFUL hand knitted sweater, booties, hat and shawl that my friend Victoria made for Claire's baby. She did a similar set for Jordan's baby when Lauren was born. Talented? Yes, to the extreme!

Kissing cousins

It's been over a week now that Jord and Claire had their baby girls...about 22 hours apart...both small little wonders who are doing so well...both from mothers who are sisters and our daughters. They couldn't have planned it better if they would have tried. Needless to say, Grandma and Grandpa were anxious for the safe delivery of these darling little girls. I'm happy to report that mothers and baby girls are doing so well and recovering from the whole birthing process. It's amazing really to be so close to this whole awesome process we call birth and to see it a generation removed from the action. I'm so proud of our girls for being brave and strong and for taking up the responsibility of motherhood. I'm so thrilled (and so is Grandpa) to welcome two new little ones into our family. Does it get any better than this? I think not. It's been great fun to spend five days with each family and observe the tender loving care given to these little girls. Welcome precious little ones! I hope these little cousins become great friends.