The different stages of mothering

I love Mothers' Day!  I love thinking about my own mother and the wonderful job she and dad did raising me and six siblings.  I love thinking of my grandmothers and remembering the special things they did for us their grandchildren.  I love remembering what is was like to be a mother of young children and of teenagers.  I love to be the mother of grown children and interact with them on an adult level.  I love watching our sons and daughters with their young children.  I appreciate my mother-in-law because she raised my husband do be the good man that he is.  I love to watch my sisters as mothers and grandmothers and learn from their examples.  I really do marvel at the institution of mothering and applaud all the good that mothers do in the world.  Sure, there are less than perfect mothers who do less than perfect things, but that is not my focus today.  I want to celebrate and remember THE GOOD that the mothers do who have influenced my life.
Here are a few things I remember:
Grandma Fuhriman - she was a small woman who was strong in many ways, she always colored her hair, she always looked nice and wore jewelery and dressed up when she went out, she was a wonderful cook and make candy, cookies, pies and cake, she bought me Paint My Number when I would visit her in the summer and give me money to go to the store, she took me to the Capitol Theater to the move with lunch at the Bluebird, she gave us lovely Christmas presents and had an extended family Christmas party most years, she worked hard on the dry farm every summer cooking for the family and hired men, she wanted all her grandchildren to get along and have fun together, she served at the Logan temple for many years, she made me a beautiful satin hand-stitched quilt, she knew how to tat, she was widowed at a young age and made the best of her circumstances, she loved her children and grandchildren and we all knew it.
Grandma Mayme - she was a tall woman who worked hard her whole life, it was easy to talk to her and she was always ready with a hug and encouraging words, she was a wonderful cook who make amazing desserts, salads and main dishes from scratch, she taught me how to play Rook and Parcheesi, I loved to sleep over at her house because the sheets always smelled so fresh and the covers weighed a ton in the basement bedroom, she always looked nice, she often used an outhouse and was very frugal but very generous, she had a garden and bottled fruit by the ton, she was a postmaster and it was fun to visit her in the one-room post office with a pot belly stove as the heat source, it was always wonderful to visit her and gather around her kitchen table for a meal, she knew how to crochet and she made 100s of crochet items, she made me a purple and white floral quilt, she loved her family and worked endlessly to take care of their needs, she taught through her example how to be strong and do hard things.
Grandma Mary/Mom - she learned how to work hard as a young girl and she has worked hard her whole life, she is a caregiver and loves taking care of people, she has served others in the church and community and has worked to lift the burden of those in need, she has experienced great joy and happiness and she has known her share of heartbreak and trial - yet she perseveres through it all, she is joyful and fun to be around, she loves to get out and go and see  and experience new things, she is easy to be with and it is always good to talk to her, she is wise and knows what to do, she gives good advice, she gives people the benefit of the doubt, I love that she got to spend last week with us so that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren could get to know her better, she loves her children and their families and her grandchildren and great-grandchildren, she is a strong link in the generational chain and I'm so proud of her and so happy to call her mother.
Our children (and Rick) organized a little tribute night at the beach before we all left and they said some sweet things to Grandma Mary and to me.  I haven't had all my four children (and sweet Courtney) around me for Mother's day in a long time.  Their comments meant a lot, I'm not gonna lie.  I'm so proud of our children and their spouses and love them so much!
All these women have excelled at mothering.  All these women are women of faith and courage.  All these women taught us how to live life well and how to be strong, compassionate, kind, and loving and I'm so grateful for their wonderful examples.

Becoming a CASA volunteer

My childhood, growing up on a farm in Idaho in a large family was ideal, although I didn’t know it at the time.  Fresh air, lots of space to run and play, ready-made playmates, lots of work to be done, animals to care for, and loving parents who oversaw it all made for a happy childhood.  I lived in that small community for my first eighteen years, and I thought that most families were like mine with two parents who loved their children, plenty of work to do, plenty of fun to have, and with high parental expectations for a successful future.  When I graduated from high school, I left Idaho thinking that there was a formula for achieving success and if that formula were followed, happiness could be achieved in family life and in life in general.  I realized that ideally, everyone should have a place to call home where other caring people take you in.

I still believe in that formula for success in life.  The basics of working hard, playing hard and setting and achieving goals and loving the people in the family group can lead to success.  What I didn’t consider and understand were all the variables.  I didn’t even know much about those variables when I was a naive farm girl.  They just were not in my pallet of experiences.  Such things as mental illness, divorce, addictions, abuse, loss of employment, few educational opportunities, discrimination and other challenges, compounded by poor choices, can lead to dysfunction in the family and very often, major challenges for the children who  come from those families.  I came to understand that when a family doesn’t function well, a child often doesn’t function very well.  When the family, the basic unit of society, fails, the children in that family can struggle and fail also through no fault of their own.  When this cycle is set into motion, it is very difficult for the succeeding generations to break away from it.

In my early twenties, I spent a year and a half in Argentina living among the people there.  That experience opened by eyes and enlarged my experiences to see the world in a more expansive way.  We routinely met with families who struggled to provide the essentials of life.  I saw abuse, addiction and the consequences of poor choices compounded by few opportunities or little desire to improve the situation.  Some children were left to fend for themselves at an early age.  Some had a little parental support, but it was usually from a single mother who was struggling to provide the basic necessities for the family and who simply didn’t have the time or energy to be concerned with things like education and future opportunities.  I learned to speak Spanish and learned that the Spanish word for home was “casa.”  Most families took great pride in their “casas” and kept them tidy and neat.  Even if they had dirt floors, they would sweep the dirt and share the best they had with us, their guests.  The word “casa” to me became synonymous with love, care, concern and help.  If love existed between the parents and the children, it could be felt, and the children were usually well cared for in these humble homes, even though the essentials were very minimal.

I became a C.A.S.A volunteer because I understand that everyone needs a home or a “casa.”  Those who have a place to come home, a place where there are loving relationships, no matter how humble the circumstances, can receive the emotional and mental support that they need to be successful in life.  When that is not possible, then other caring people can step in to assist the children if they are aware of the need.   

I have observed the different ways people live their lives.  I have  came to better understand the concepts of choices and consequences those choices bring and to better realize that sometimes it is necessary and helpful for other people to step in and assist when the family isn’t working well.  This is true especially if there are other variables to be considered like mental illness or addictions.  My compassion has grown as I have realized that often children in these situations just need someone they can turn to for love and support and a safe place to call home.  I decided to be one of those people who could come to the aid of children who need help when their own families are unable to provide this assistance.

After living in Argentina, I got married and started my own family.  My husband and I have four children.  Now three of those four children have married and have started families of their own.  We have five grandchildren who are starting the journey through life. Since most of our children and grandchildren live out of state and aren’t close by for me to attend to, I have a desire to share my time and attention with a child who might need someone to be a positive influence in his or her life.  This is why I volunteered.  I feel that everyone needs a chance and a good casa or a C.A.S.A (Court Appointed Special Advocate) can provide the needed support if his or her parents are unable to provide the kind of support that they need. 

         I’ve been given a sixteen year old young lady to serve as a C.A.S.A. volunteer.  I get to be an advocate for her needs and some of her wants.  She has been through more trials and challenges in her sixteen years than I will experience in my whole life.  She has much to teach me and hopefully I can offer her a few things as well.  But mostly I just want to offer her a relationship where she can be safe, be loved, be valued and to share if she wants to share.  By being dependable, nonjudgmental, supportive and interested, I hope that I can make a difference in her life.  Everyone should have a casa and if they don’t, then they should have a C.A.S.A! 

Maybe you've been the billboards on the freeway that are advertising for more C.A.S.A. volunteers.  If you have interest and time, check out this website to learn more.http://www.utcourts.gov/specproj/casa/faq.asp

Burley a-go-go

Who said they don't know how to have fun in the Burley-Rupert area? Here's proof...
My favorite is the old guy in the Minico Spartan's jacket. It's funny and very sweet.

Mangoooo Quinoaaaa Salad...so good!

If you have never tried quinoa, this is a fantastic place to start. Quinoa is becoming more and more popular because of its awesome nutrient content. I bought a bag at Costco. It looks like a grain and cooks like rice, but it is actually a seed and it super nutritious. It is grown in Bolivia and is imported to the USA. What a great way to support the Bolivian economy.

Here's how:
1 chopped tomato
1 chopped cucumber
1 chopped avocado
1/2 chopped Bermuda onion
1 chopped red pepper
2 T. lemon juice
2-3 cups mixes salad greens
4 cups COOKED and cooled quinoa

Toppings:
1 cup fresh chopped cilantro
1 mango chopped (you can buy a bag of frozen mangos in the frozen fruit section of the grocery store. It's easy and quick to use!)
1 cup chopped jicama

Mix tomato, cucumber, red onion, avocado and peppers with lemon juice, sprinkle with sea salt.
Divide onto 4 plates and top each with one cup quinoa. Then add cilantro, mango and jicama
Top with dressing:

1 cup fresh mango (I used frozen and it worked great)
1/2 cup safflower oil or canola oil
1/4 cup agave nectar (or maple syrup) This was a first for me. A sugar substitute - also available at Costo
1/4 c. lime juice
1 T. rice vinegar (or balsamic)
1 t. fresh grated ginger
2 t. seal salt
1 clove of garlic

Place all ingredients in a blender and puree. My oh my. Get ready for a taste sensation. The dressing is especially amazing. It makes enough for future salads.

A legacy of love

John 3:16-17
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.

John 15: 13
Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

His life is a legacy of love and I'm so grateful for the gift he gave us all.
He lives. He loves us.
Happy Easter.